Ynnah
It is so hard to let go.
Letting go is hard because it means that you need to free yourself from some aspects of your past. Things that have become a part of yourself – of what makes you who you are today.
Xander is the one who made me what I am today.
And letting him go is so hard to my part. It was so hard especially because I wasn't able to say the things that I wanted to say. There was no closure. Was in deep repentance. I wanted to say 'goodbye', 'Sorry', and thank you but death was so vile that it didn't give me a chance to do those things.
I wanted to say goodbye for the memories of the past that is now clearly understood why those things happened. I wanted to say sorry, for all the wrongs and mistakes that we have done to each other, that I have done to him which made a huge gap between us. And thank you, for giving me the love that I deserve and for saving my life from his wicked mother.
But can't do it already. All the things that I wanted to say is all burnt down by the fire of death.
Time is so cruel like life and death.
After I learned about his death from Eros. I was in denial. I don't want to believe that he's already gone. I tried to turn away and ignore the truth. But when I saw the coffin inside their house surrounded by white beautiful flowers and him lying inside it resting in peace, I break down. When I saw his casket right in front of me, I forced my eyes to reality that he's already gone... Forever.
I didn't cried, though. I already cried enough that my eyes couldn't shed even a single tear anymore. I was just staring blankly on him resting in peace.
Amanda on the other hand, she was given a chance to attend on his Son's last day of wake before she was locked inside the bars of jail. She kept on asking for forgiveness in front of her lifeless son because she knew he was died in her own hands. And unexpectedly, she acknowledge and admitted her mistakes and surrendered herself to the police. She faced multiple charges of murder, assault and kidnapping. She probably spending her life inside the jail as a payment and price of her committed sins.
She could be a great and loving mother if her love didn't turn into madness and insecurities. This is the result of her greediness. She lost her Son and all what she had. Her family.
Xandra is in a great anger towards her for killing her younger brother and her step father. She could not contain her anger at her mother for what she had done. Nor can it blame her. Her Mom murdered her own husband and son. Who would be happy with that?
"I hate her to death." Xandra said while gritting her teeth in anger.
I just held her hand just to make her feel that she's not alone, and the moment she was about to cry, I didn't hesitate to pulled her towards me for a tight hug.
"Cry. I know how hard it is,so go on. Don't hesitate to cry. I'm just here for you. We're here for you." I said and right after I say those words, I heard her sob as she buried her head on my neck.
She needs me. She needs us.
After Xander's funeral, Mommy didn't let me go home yet. They all agreed for me to stay at Eros house because they knew that I didn't want them to hire a psychiatrist to recover. I just wanted Eros by my side. And I know he could help me to recover from trauma even without any hired psychiatrist.
Mr Fleviox was also present. He was also the one to watch over me inside the mansion. I also know that he can also help me to get rid of the tragedy that happened to me in my system while Daddy sent Xandra to Korea to recover from her depression and trauma from what happened to her family. Daddy wanted to keep her besides this is his child too. His flesh and blood. My older brother and I didn't say no because Xandra was a very kind person. She did not inherit her mother's attitude and habits.
My life went well after that terrible tragedy. I haven't moved much since Xander's death, but Eros is there to help me. He keep his promise not to take his eyes off of me which I really thank the most.
He's there to help me cope up and get rid of my trauma. He never leaves my side. And also Liza. She's calling me every time when she's having her vacant to asked me if I'm already fine. If I need someone to talk to. Or someone to hang out with to unwind.
But I always said I'm fine. Because Eros don't permit me to go outside without him.
Every step of the way, Eros is there for me. When he said he would never take his eyes off of me, he really meant it. My parents, siblings and his presence made it all bearable for me.
He didn't tell me to quickly move on from the past. He didn't rush me. He is so very patient with me. He made me realize that it was okay to deal with the pain and regrets from the past, and take my time to move forward. 
Eros helped me with everything. He showed me how much better I could be after healing from that tragedy that happened to me, to us.
After a few weeks of recovering from the trauma we returned to school to study. It's almost a month since we last attend school. And we have a reason. Mommy made an excuse for us not to attend school. And the head understand it. They also knew about Xanders' death and they are so sorry for what happened. They sent their condolences to Xandra. And prayed for our fast recovery from the trauma and depression that it caused us.
And now we are ready to go back to school. Eros never leave my side for my security.
We know that the chaos and trouble does not end there. There's still Eron who's getting ready for their grand reunion as siblings. And not only that, because I knew I would still be involved in the clash that would take place between the two of them.
I know one of these days he will find us. And I should make myself prepare for that.
I must.