♱ •⋅ 1750 B.C. ⋅• ♱
3 weeks.
This was the time it took me to organize all the papers on the mansion, choose new officials and also report the problems of the territory of Callisto to the commander of the guard. I knew that Azrael would not care and also knew that those roles would never reach Callisto; this left me partially pissed, after all during the time I spent as a concubine, especially in the time I was with Elaine, I dedicated nights to improving the economic situation of the kingdom - which affected humans who depended on resources to survive more than any other being.
In the end, that wasn’t something that mattered to them.
First, because Callisto would probably refuse to accept something of mine, even if it was something professional - just as he had avoided me during the time I was with Elaine waiting to leave the palace.
Second: because Azrael had not taken care of those matters before, then why would this change after only a few actions of mine?
And third: because that was the work of a duke and out "Asra" there was no one able to solve those matters, because she... was the only duke of the first territory.
The only problem that hit me after solving all this - was the disappearance of Asmodeus. Well, that and the fact that Elaine now had her arms crossed over her chest and a sharp irritated expression.
"What happened?" I tried to ask as I sat next to her on the couch, but she was practically adamant.
"Hunf'"
"Elaine, I am so..."
"No" she said and her eyes shot me with something I didn’t know was a face request or pure and simple hate "you locked yourself in that damn office! You didn’t do that when we were in the palace... and now... will it be like this?"
'Restrain yourself, she’s angry, respect your feelings,' I thought, but the angry expression on her angelic face, along with her sharp indignation and furious protests that directly related to her obvious decision to be clear and truthful the whole time: she was absolutely charming.
"I missed you!" she grunted as her eyes became tearful "I felt... stupid, stupid and abandoned..."
I sighed.
What would she do if I said I did all this because I wanted to be there for her? How would I react if I told her that the only reason I still cared about the people who lived in that realm and plan... was because I knew that even if I hurt her, she would still feel sad if they suffered?
"Pretty..." I called her with a sweet, velvety tone "I’m sorry... I really was a complete idiot" I said as she sniffed.
"Don’t you ever..." Elaine whined "I know I’m being childish and that was her job, but... but..." her hands shook the dress she wore as if she didn’t know how to continue, how to express.
I slipped one hand over her shoulder and pulled her close.
"You’re right, I was doing my job, but... you’re also right to feel that way. I should have been more careful, I should have at least had dinner with you..."
And it wasn’t like I didn’t want to. I wanted to, I wanted to so much that I wondered if it was worth spending so much time with that job that I wouldn’t even have the attention of who I should have, that if I was even beautiful, but... I didn’t want to be incompetent. I didn’t want to let the vision of the old Asra spread through me, because now... I wanted a life with Elaine and that implied many things, one of them was to have an image of which I was proud.
"But..." I took her hand and took her to my lips "I preferred to finish everything as fast as I could..., I preferred to finish each report before I even left that place, because I wanted every moment, besides that, to be ours" smiles and was not a forced smile or rehearsed, it was a real smile "I wanted to be with you, I wanted to have time with you and take care of you, because I know the experiments started this week and I know that... as much as I don’t talk, you feel pain."
Elaine faltered, faltered as if she were now remembering everything I said in the garden.
I was Keir, not Asra. I knew things she kept from everyone and even if she didn’t like it, I would try to be by her side, I would take care of her.
The blue eyes, which seemed to recover, filled with tears again.
"What happened?" I asked as I looked at her, approaching her.
"I was afraid..." she admitted "even if she agreed to the experiments, even if she knows that the pain I will feel is nothing, I always feel fear..."
I knew.
"I... I really want to help the child" she muttered "I want to fix everything, but I want to be happy. I want to be selfish and happy, but I was afraid you’d hate me for it. I decided that I would participate in the experiments, but even without noticing, I was afraid again, because needles scare me and there is always blood... and... in the end... I think I just wanted you to take care of me."
I caressed the face of the girl, the girl who was too young to have to go through all that, the girl who was now too old after having gone through those lives again and again.
"I would never be able to hate you, didn’t I tell you that before?"
"But..."
"Even if you refuse the experiments to help Loren, even if you decide to kill Callisto in the end, I still wouldn’t be able to hate you..." I muttered and that was a truth.
I had judged Elaine when she was just a reader, had wished her place at times, but now? Now I just wanted her to be selfish and spoiled and happy. I wanted Elaine to choose herself and the rest of the universe to bow in front of her.
Maybe... I was just an exaggerated person who has no self-control about his feelings, but maybe, I was just completely in love with this woman and if Elaine’s happiness depended on Calisto’s death - I would kill him with my own hands.
"So..." I kissed her cheek lengthily and then her forehead, nose and chin "I’ll take care of you. I swear" whispered and Elaine’s eyes shone as she hugged me.
It was almost as if she already knew that I would never break an oath.
⋅• ♱ •⋅