Chapter 43

Ara's POV...
As I continue to sob, I suddenly feel my right arm being pulled into a tight embrace. I feel Junghwa's strong arms wrapped around my body. Slowly, I put my arms around his body, as I continue to sob into tears. Though my heart feels upset at the drama he just caused, yet I couldn't really find myself to push him away from the hug, knowing that I also long to be in his arms, even for only a little while. My feelings towards him became more complicated since the love-hate emotions became bigger, yet again, I found that I can't hate him too much, even though his childish and dramatic ways often hurt me.
"I hate when you're being dramatic," I say in between sobs.
I can feel Junghwa tightens the embrace, as his hand softly caress the back of my head. In this moment, I really feel like it's my moment of weakness, to find myself getting lost in the embrace of the person who I loved but also hate at the same time.
"Why can't you love me, Junghwa? If you can't do that, at least don't hurt me," I state.
"I care for you, Ara," Junghwa says. "I like you. You liked Zach though,"
"No, you don't. If you liked me, you wouldn't have made me insane," I say. "You're behaving like you're the victim."
"I'm sorry," Junghwa says, as he continues to caress the back of my head. 
"Yet I do I like you, Ara. I'm being honest," Junghwa adds.
Hearing his words, I didn't have the energy to answer anymore. Instead, I chose to tighten my arms around his body, as tears continue to slide down my eyes. I don't want to believe the words he just said, mainly because I'm afraid of getting hurt again. Yet, there's a tiny part in my heart, which hoped that his words were true.
"Ara! Jay!"
Breaking our emotional moment, the loud voice of Grace caught our attention quickly. Standing a few steps from us, a drunk Grace can be seen standing in a sloppy manner, with Zach and Matt holding her up. I noticed Zach glanced at me with a disappointed look, as his vision continues to shift between me and Junghwa.
"Ahh...where have you guys been?" Grace asks in a badly drunk tone, as I see her legs looking really weak. 
"Just standing here," Junghwa says, before he chuckles awkwardly.
"Man, my head hurts," Grace says.
"I think it's time we get her back home," Zach says, his vision continues to shift between Junghwa and I sharply, of course, still with the same look of disappointment.
"Yeah, sure. Let's go," I say as I slowly pull myself back from Junghwa's embrace.
An hour later...
After dropping Grace at her place, Zach and I are now in the car together as he is driving me back to my place. Since Junghwa was also pretty drunk, we told Matt that he could drive him back, while Zach and I decided to take care of Grace who eventually fell asleep in the car. Well, tonight really turned out crazier than my expectations, but I just hope that Grace would feel better tomorrow.
"So how are you feeling?" Zach asks.
"I'm ok. Still sober," I say.
"That's good," Zach says in a dull tone. I figured he must still feel upset about witnessing my moment with Junghwa.
The ride became silent as Zach didn't say another word, and I didn't bother to say anything as well. The tension between us became awkward, making me wish to arrive sooner so I could get some sleep and forget about everything from tonight.
A few minutes later...
At Ara's place...
"We're here," Zach says.
"Thanks for the ride," I say as I attempt to unbuckle my seat-belts.
"No problem," Zach says. "And, there's something I want to talk about."
Hearing that, I turn my head over to face Zach after unbuckling my seat-belts. I start to study his deep brown eyes, which for a moment sparkles with a thousand words. It doesn't take a mind reader to know that he has a lot going on inside his head now, since his eyes are speaking a lot.
"What is it?" I ask him.
He sighs. He stares back into my eyes, making my eyes feel enchanted as we lock eyes with one another. 
"Are you actually willing to move on and start a new chapter of your life?" Zach asks, making my heart skipped a beat as I didn't expect that question to come from him, at this hour.
"I'm moving on everyday, Zach. I'm going on with my life and creating new chapters," I say.
"And what about you and Junghwa? How are things between you guys?" he asks with curiousity.
I sigh. Out of all the questions he could ask, he had to bring up this topic. It honestly annoyed me, though I figured I couldn't possibly get too mad since it wouldn't really solve any problems. 
"I told him that I don't want to change whatever we have now," I say. "I don't want to get into something more serious when I'm still healing."
Hearing that, Zach raises his right eyebrow at me with a confused look. It also seems like he was surprised to hear my answer.
"Why? He's single now. Don't you like him and wanted to pursue something more?" Zach asks.
"I've come to realize that maybe, I don't really want to pursue a relationship for now. It's too complicated. I just want to feel love but I don't want to pursue it into a relationship," I say.
"Why?" Zach asks.
I sigh. I don't get whether he's insensitive or he just didn't get what I meant.
"A relationship requires too much work and is exhausting. My heart is exhausted after hoping for love and expecting a relationship along the way. I just want to be alone now," I say.
Hearing that, Zach's lips remained silent as his vision continues to stare at me with wonders. Chances are he wasn't expecting to hear that coming from me, but he heard me well what I said. It's true that I no longer desire something serious, because even though my heart desires love, I want to take a break from the whole expectation of love-relationship.
"I see," Zach says.
I sigh. In this moment, I realize that even though I care for both of my best friends, Junghwa and Zach, I don't really want to give my heart to any of them now. Sure, I like Junghwa, but now I just want to let myself like him in silence without entering anything more. As for Zach, I just wish we could remain friends, but nothing more. Anything more could ruin whatever we have now.
"You're a good guy, Zach. Yet, please don't wait for me," I say. "I don't want you to waste your time waiting over someone with unhealed wounds."
To be continue...

Book Comment (462)

  • avatar
    Alhyea

    from the cover alone , i know this is good

    01/07

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    DaenAntonio

    nice

    12/06

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  • avatar
    Casillano Boduy Blenz

    love this🥰

    25/05

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