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Chapter 18 The Rip in His Flesh
"I've made my decision," Gwi declared bluntly, not looking at Siera. He has clearly rejected his wife's point of view and has drawn a conclusion to his argument. Siera can only look at Gwi with a sad expression; for some reason, her husband's attitude has just changed. Since what transpired at the burial, the king has avoided her gaze. He also left her eat alone and never came over to speak to her. It gives the queen the impression that the monarch has silenced her. The queen wants to contest his choice, but she doesn't want to humiliate him in front of the ministers. Everyone knows that Siera is the only descendent of the Hwon royal line, but Gwi is a werewolf born from a lower descendant. It's enough to hear everyone gossiping about her husband's identity and making fun of him behind his back. As a result, she is unable to do much more than abandon his honorific. As a result, the queen chose to remain mute and let the king to make the decision. "All right, I'll prepare the soldiers for the war," responds the Minister of National Defense to the King's command. The meeting for today has concluded. Gwi returns to his chamber to prepare for the approaching combat. Since the conflict with Binju's monsters decades ago, no additional wars have occurred since they have lived in peace. But today, he must make a decision that will force him to return to the battlefield immediately. Gwi still feels a load in his chest, despite his decision. "The queen has arrived," Thierry declared, causing Gwi to pause in his activities. He does not instantly reply to the presence of the queen. To be honest, he can guess why Siera has come to his chamber, but he is not ready to chat with her about anything. He's not sure why, but he's been avoiding seeing and conversing with the queen for quite some time. "Let her in," yet he can't ignore her either. Thierry accepts his command and invites the queen to the king's chamber, leaving the couple alone. When the pair is in the same room, there is an unspoken tension between them. "Should we do it? Is this what you actually want, Gwi?" Siera speaks frankly to uncover her reason for coming to visit the king; she is discussing the war. "I thought I should make it clear that I made my decision," Gwi responds to her question, his gaze roving wherever but on her. He pretends to be working on his workstation while avoiding her sight. "Gwi. I am thoroughly acquainted with you. You wouldn't want to go to war with your own people. I simply don't want you to make a decision that you will regret for the rest of your life." Siera tries to communicate her feelings and persuade him. "So, what should I do? What would I become in the eyes of our other people who still entrust their lives to me if I allowed them demolish our border in order to break away from the kingdom? What kind of monarch would I be in their eyes?" The king finally looks the queen in the eyes, his stare piercing and frigid. "You are well aware, Siera, that I am never completely regarded as our people's monarch. You know how much they loathe my werewolf nature. Whatever I do, whether I love our people or murder one of them, they will always blame me for everything. No one has ever fully stood by me and supported me for who I am. I was sick of trying to impress everyone!" Gwi's powerful voice rang over the room. "I understand, Gwi. I understand that everything and everyone is forcing you into a corner. However, violence would never enter their hearts. Only love and your genuine concern could gradually bring them to their senses. We simply need to strive harder and be patient with the process," Siera says gently, trying to keep her voice down. She doesn't want to encircle him any farther while expressing her concern for him. "No, you don't know," Gwi says, turning around and stepping toward the window to put more distance between them. He avoids her once more. Siera believes he continues to reject her and has built a huge barrier between them. His ignorance and rejection cause the queen to lose her own standing. He has always welcomed her with tenderness and warmth, so when he suddenly shows his cold shoulder in front of her, she is unsure what to do. What should she do to demolish the wall that has become a major impediment between them? "Gwi..." is the only thing she can say out loud. Gwi takes a deep breath. Siera's voice calling his name has always become a wonderful song that calms his anxieties and brings him joy. But it feels like a rip in his flesh tonight. "Even you could have turned away and left me on the corner alone," the king finally says. However, his words perplex the queen. She has always stood by his side and gone out of her way to help him, so why does he feel as if she has abandoned him? "I never leave you alone, I am always here for you..." she begged him to see her sincerity and honesty. Siera could see Gwi shake his head, expressing his displeasure with her declaration from a distance. It adds to her complexity and confusion. Why ? "You might not be conscious of your own feelings, Siera, you always do. Maybe the day you let our unborn child die is the day you choose to leave my side," the king's deep voice says softly, yet clearly enough for Siera to think she just heard a thunderstorm. Siera's chest is constricted and heavy, and she can't believe what he's saying. How can her husband be talking about the tragedy and looking at it from that perspective? It was excruciatingly painful for her. She also does not want their unborn children to perish. The past sorrow that resurfaced in her memory caused the queen to cry uncontrollably. The tears are flowing down her cheek, but she is trying hard not to cry. However, Gwi's excellent hearing as a werewolf allows him to hear her tiny whimper. It is also difficult for him. When forced to discuss the subject, Gwi's jaw hardened. The gloomy subject that they had avoided discussing for years. But he can't keep it any longer. Siera witnessed the king continuing to turn his back on her despite the fact that she had been crying as a result of his words. "I... I never want to let go of our child like that, how could I have a heart to let him die when he hadn't seen the world yet," the queen's voice shakes. Her tears make it difficult for her to speak clearly. "But you did" Again, stillness fills the room. He blames her for the death of their unborn kid, which she should be aware of. Now she remembers that even if he never directly acknowledged the catastrophe in the past, even when he continued to treat her regularly with his love and affection, there was always an unnoticed wall he built in front of her since that disaster. She should have been aware of it. She cannot blame her husband for blaming her for what happened to their child. It was her carelessness that drove them in this manner. As a result, she believes it is pointless to try to talk to him right now. Siera then turned around and left the king's room with a sad heart and step. When Gwi heard the sound of the door closing, he exhaled the air he had been holding all along. His brow furrowed in agony. He lowered his head and began crying quietly. He is regretting all that has happened to them up to this point.
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