Chapter 19
“Life Isn’t Fairytale”
“Kaien, where’re you?”
Kaien immediately got up and approached the source of the voice; Allen. He left the envelope on the couch.
“Kai~ what are you doing?” Allen asked and gave a hug to Kaien. “Have you eaten yet?”
Kaien did not say anything or respond back with the hug. Allen was taken back. He thought Kaien at least would return the hug. So, he decided to look up, into Allen’s eyes.
It was cold. Kaien's eyes were so cold. There was no more warmness, no feeling and no life in it. They were just cold.
“Kai?” Allen whispered and slowly let go of his hug. He was afraid. ‘Is my rejection last night has made Kaien mad?’ He thought.
“Allen… Who are you exactly?” Kaien asked with coldness in his voice. 
Allen was shocked and took a step back. He did not know what Kaien was talking about. ‘What on earth has happened to Kaien?’ he thought. “Kai… Are you mad?” Allen asked, confused. He assumed it was about yesterday.
“Yes…” Kaien answered shortly. “I… am…”
“But Kai, you said you would wait for me, I'm not…”
“STOP ACTING IN FRONT OF ME!” Kaien shouted. It made Allen jump back a bit. He was really shocked. Kaien never shouted at him like that.
“Kai..?” Allen whispered. This time, he was really afraid. “Why did you shout at me?”
Kaien did not answer. Suddenly, he grabbed Allen’s hand, dragging him out of the apartment.
“Let me go! It hurts! Kaien!”Allen begged as they finally arrived at the park; the usual park that Allen went to.
Kaien turned around, facing Allen. Allen could not believe what he saw, Kaien was crying.
“Is what we’re having until now just a lie?” Kaien asked as his tears fell into his cheek.
“Kai… what are you talking about?” Allen asked. His body was trembling. He knows something must have happened to Kaien. But what was it?
“Let’s break up…” Kaien said as he wiped his tears.
“What?” Allen was shocked. He was unsure if he heard it right.
“Let’s break up,” Kaien repeated.
“Why?” Allen’s voice cracked.
“You know the reason…” Kaien said as he walked off, leaving Allen there as the first rain drop fell.
“Kaie, wait!” Allen begged, pulling him desperately. He almost burst out crying. “Don’t leave me!”
“Leave me alone!” Kaien shouted as he pushed Allen until he fell.
Kaien was stunned with what he just did but he quickly turned away. He could hear Allen was sobbing, tears were falling, and he could not bear it anymore. He fastened his step, disappearing from Allen’s sight.
“Why? Kaien… What have I done wrong?” Allen asked as he cried alone. “Why is everyone leaving me alone?”
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
“Kai~” Benji’s voice echoed as he entered Kaien’s apartment happily. “Guess what Nathan and I did last night?”
Benji’s excitement had been responded with nothing. There was no answer from anyone. No voice. The house was dead silent. It was unusual for Benji because as far as he knew Kaien, Kaien was a morning person. There was no way he was still asleep at this time. 
Benji decided to look around in the living room. In the corner of the room, he saw Kaien’s figure, sitting on the couch, trembling…
“Kai!” Benji called as he rushed to the crying Kaien. “What happened?”
No answer again.
Benji hugged Kaien, giving him a shoulder to lend. He never saw Kaien cry like this. In fact, he never saw Kaien cry or ever thought there was something that could made this man cry.
“Where’s Allen?” Benji asked. But Kaien still did not answer or say anything.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Allen walked back and forth at the park. His tears already dried, like the rain that had just stopped. His clothes were all wet, but he did not seem to care about it. He feels so tired like he wanted to disappear from this world. His love… The person that he loved so much… The person that cared for him… Left him. He was alone… again.
Bitter smiled carved and the pain in his heart… was really unbearable.
Kai…
Why…
Am I…
Not allowed to be loved…
He’s the only dream that comes true in my live…
But he’s gone now…
“Why… Am I not allowed to ask for a dream to become reality?” Allen asked.
He sits on the bench. The bench that always had been friendly to him whenever he was sad. He always went to the park when he was sad. It became his habit eventually.
The coldness of the winter did not seem to bother him anymore. His heart was colder than the winter, the heart that Kaien had left.
[FLASHBACK]
“You know the reason…” Kaien said as he walked off, leaving Allen there as the first rain drop fell.
[END OF THE FLASHBACK]
‘The reason…is that my family background? Has Kaien really found the truth? About me…’ Allen asked in his mind.
“Life doesn’t seem to be the same as fairytales after all…” Allen mumbled bitterly as he looked at the frozen sky.