Chapter 21 “Losing You”
The men dragged Allen out from the van. Allen was still half conscious; the rope hurt his arm, wrist and tarsus. Images of a stack of empty boxes, dust, broken things flash in Allen’s eyes. He could not see his surroundings well, and he felt so sleepy and weak.
The sound of an iron door opens, and a white cotton bed sheet displays in the room. The men put Allen on top of it before they tie Allen’s hand and foot on each edge of the bed. Allen’s tears come out from his eyelids. He knew what was going to happen.
He was right. Not long after the men left, Kanae’s figure shows up. He brought something in his palm, but Allen could not possibly realize what that thing was. He was so weak, worst of all, because of his fever. Kanae put the thing on the table next to the bed.
Kanae went up the bed, topping Allen. He whispered something, but Allen could not hear it. Then, Kane moved, adjusted his position.
“Let’s have some fun, shall we?” He said. Allen shook his head slowly. Kanae saw it, but he did not care. He wanted Allen to be his, even though he would hurt Allen. Kanae took something from his pocket, and then he injected Allen with it. Allen was scared, but then again, he was too weak to even open his mouth.
Slowly, Kanae opened Allen’s wet shirt, as he said, “Let me wet you more…” His lust could not be hidden anymore, Allen’s tear fell again, but then, Kanae swiped it.
He immediately attacked Allen’s white chest, right on the nipples.
“No…” Allen struggled weakly as he moaned.
Kanae fastened his move, he opened Allen’s zipper as he crumbled what inside it, Allen cried out loud, he’s scared, so scared. And it hurt so much, Kanae was hurting him and it made him feel so afraid. 
Kaien had always been easy to him. He never prioritized his satisfaction over Allen’s happiness when they were doing it. But, Kanae was totally the opposite. It was hurting so much.
“Please, stop!” Allen cried in the middle of the erection.
Kanae instead, just went harder and uncaringly. He was opening his zipper, ready to reach the climax.
“Stop! No, please!” Allen panicked when he heard the zipper’s sound. “Kai…”
Kanae became so angry when he heard Allen mumbling Kaien’s name. Allen was just too afraid. Then Kanae crawled up, looking at Allen’s face. His eyes really swollen because of the crying, his mouth was half open, but then he was biting his own lips until blood came out. He felt so much pleasure, but the pleasure that he surely did not want. Kanae could not accept that. Allen was supposed to forget about Kaien now!
“Dreams are dreams, try to accept the reality, will you!” his voice echoed in Allen’s earlaps.
Kanae pulled Allen's pants down. Allen was completely naked now. Then, the pain came…
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Kaien kicked one of the men, his hapkido move really helped him a lot, meanwhile, Benji used a stick to attack the other one. He could not fight as well as Kaien, but he still could be helped, right? Then, the last guard fell down. The two of them rushed inside the abandoned place, trying to find Allen.
They reached the iron door, but then a voice that broke Kaien’s heart came.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Allen cried, from the other side of the door.
“Allen!” Kaien tried to open the door, but then, he failed. The door was locked so tight. He was so desperate, he knew exactly what was happening to his Allen, but he could not do a thing!
“I’ll distract him, go outside Kai! There’s a window connected to this room!” Benji said regarding the fact that he saw the window before they came in. Without a second thought, Kaien rushed like a mad man. Outside, he saw the window Benji was talking about.
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CRAAAAAAAANG!!!
The window glasses break to pieces, Kanae who was still half naked, surprised. Kaien succeeded to enter the room and rushed to open the iron door, letting Benji in. Then together, they smacked Kanae’s face, leaving the half naked man fell on the floor.
It was a heart attack for both of them when Kanae fell…
Allen’s figure who was hidden by Kanae’s bigger figure now could be seen by them…
White blanket which was contaminated by some fresh blood, covering half his body…
His face looks as pale as a corpse…
“Allen!” Kaien called as he rushed to his love. Allen was so cold.
“Allen!” Kaien called again, he could see Allen’s tear was still falling, but he was not sure if Allen was still alive or not. Kaien immediately hugs him.
Slowly, Allen opened his eyes. He looked at Kanae’s figure as he was ready to shoot Kaien with a gun.
“Kai!” Benji shouted as he rushed to Kanae, trying to take the gun from him.
BANG!
It was too late, the bullet perched the flesh, blood dripping to the floor, leaving the lifeless figure there…
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It’s quiet, too quiet. But it’s peace, no more pain. But then, is this the feeling of dying?
But then, the pain attacked his body, he jerked a little.
No, the pain is still there. It…will never…leave…
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Kaien was crying and shocked. Benji was still right there, beside him, hugging him. Nathan did not mind his love hugging another man, because he knew how the man feels right now. He cried himself. Dom also did not mind his brother being hugged by another man, because he did not know how to comfort his brother anymore. Maybe Benji could make Kaien better.
But then, it was all bullshit. The pain, worries, regret, and all that bad feeling won’t go, because they might not be able to see a smile that lightens their days again forever.
His presence brings happiness to all around him, even though he’s in so much pain; he always hides it from them. He cries too sometimes, but then he smiles again.
His touch that made their heart warm when the cold attacked them…
His cook always makes them laugh and chat happily…
His voice sounds like a melody in their ears…
They might not be able to see it anymore…
It might become the past, part of their memories…
The regret of losing him might not be able to go on for eternity…