"Let's go, let's drink, my treat?" Chad said as we exited the building. We just finished our work and somehow the schedule of each of us was relaxed because we were all able to submit articles before the deadline and we are grateful and no one was returned for the revision of those.
"Are you sure, Chad? I won't disagree with that, my articles gave me a headache and I think I need some drinks to refresh my mind and relax," said Melissa smiling. She turned her neck as if warming up and then rubbed her senses.
"Me too, Chad I won't resist your offer. Maybe you're out of your mind, Melissa drank a lot, and you're gonna pay a lot" Andrea threatened Chad.
Chad smiled and turned to Melissa. "Even if it's a bucket of beer, I'll give it to Melissa if that's what makes her happy," he said with meaning.
I frowned but then laughed. "You seem to want to imply something with what you said, huh?" I looked at Chad meaningfully.
He smiled a few times and then slightly looked away from me. "Are you coming, Miles?" He asked instead of answering my question.
I didn't say anything right away. I'm not in the mood to drink. I just want to go home and rest.
"What is it, Miles, you want to go with us? To come or not?" Melissa said. "Are you going to miss this opportunity? It only happens once in a blue moon that Chad gets free," she joked.
I laughed and so did Andrea. Chad frowned. We finally got out of the building. We were greeted by the cold wind that touched my skin. It's past eight o'clock at night.
"Maybe next—"
"Miles!"
I turned to the person who spoke and I was surprised to see Roven standing next to his car with his body slightly bent. I also know that my friends were surprised, especially Chad who didn't know a lot about me.
Is he drunk?
"Roven?" Andrea asked in surprise as I kept looking at Roven who had a hint of alcohol on his face.
"OMG! It's Roven," said Melissa.
I blinked. I don't know what I feel but why do I feel sorry for Roven's situation and feel worried about him? I swallowed and looked away from him. I shouldn't pay attention to him.
"Let's go," I said to my companions. We walked but we hadn't gone far when Roven spoke again, making me stop.
"I still love you, Miles! Please, give me a chance to prove my love to you. I'm so sorry for what I've done! I'm sorry!"
I couldn't move right away. I don't know how I will feel but there is a part of my heart that is happy because of what Roven said but there is also a part that hurts. I sighed. I slowly faced Roven.
I saw him walk towards me while he was shaking a little, probably because of the effects of the alcohol on his body.
"Roven, please, go home," I said seriously. I still wet my forehead. Why am I worried about him and feel sorry for him?
"No, Miles! I'm not coming home until you say you still love me," Roven continued. There were traces of drunkenness, but he could still pronounce the words well. "I'm sorry for the things I've done to you in the past. I regret everything, Miles. I still love you and I want you to be mine again."
Am I seeing right? He was crying while begging me to come back? I would be a hypocrite if I didn't admit that I was touched by her begging and crying. I feel that he is sincere in what he does and says, but to myself, I don't know if I still love him. All I know is that he is still a part of my heart because of the past.
"Roven, you're drunk, just go home," I continued gently pushing him away. "Let's talk if you're not drunk," I said.
He shook his head and came closer to me. "No! I want to talk to you now, Miles. I'm going crazy thinking about you. I'm going crazy with the longing to see and hug you again. Miles, if I could go back in time, I'd choose not to do that thing and take you with me while getting my dream." He wiped the tears from his cheeks.
"Roven." I feel that by what he is doing, by his tears, the wound of the past is healing. I can see how sincere he is in what he says. I sighed and looked away from him. "I'm sorry, Roven, but what you want can't happen anymore. A year has passed, and a lot has happened for us to bring back what came between us. And besides, I'm married to Zandy," I confessed to him.
I heard Roven's laugh with a trace of pain in it. He looked away from me for a moment and put his lips together. "Married? Miles, we both know that you don't love Zandy and he doesn't love you either. That you only got married because of your parents. Miles, please, if you're doing this just to hurt me, you did. It hurts me, Miles, while I thought you were married to Zandy, while I couldn't hug you and make you feel my love. I know, it's all my fault but I regret all that and I'm trying to get you back, to get things back to where they were before," he said, full of emotion.
"Roven, it's not that easy. It's not easy to return everything just because you still love me. It's been a year, and do you think I still love you the same way before? A lot has changed, Roven, and you can't take that back anymore as usual," I returned to him with sadness on my face. My companions who were watching behind were silent. "So please, Roven, it's okay. You're drunk and you better go home and rest. I'm sorry."
I was about to turn around when I felt Roven's hand pulling me closer to him. He hugged me tightly and because of my shock, I couldn't move. I lost the strength to push him away.
"I love you, Miles and I will do everything to make you love me again," said Roven, who could feel the sensitivity and determination.
"What are you doing, Roven?"
I was just surprised when I heard Zandy's voice and he grabbed my arm, followed by pulling me. He put me behind him. I looked at Zandy, what is he doing here? I felt something strange in my heart following its beating.
I saw Roven smirk at Zandy's do. "You're acting like a real husband, huh?" He said. He was not happy with what Zandy did. "Zandy, come on, don't act like a husband because first of all, you know you don't love Miles. You only got married because of you and Miles' parents, right? So please, don't interfere in Miles' life. It's as if you're not part of his painful past," Roven said, clearly annoyed.
Tension builds between the two. I also feel Zandy's annoyance at Roven's words. He still grinned while holding my arm. "As I remember, Roven you're just an ex and you don't have a right to her. You're also mistaken in thinking that I'm not Miles' husband, I'm her husband because we got married, and here's the proof." Zandy raised his right hand and showed us the ring I put on him when we got married.
It was like someone touched my heart because of that. I thought Zandy wouldn't appreciate that ring but he was wearing it and even bragged about it to Roven. It's like touching a part of my heart.
Roven tilted his head slightly. He violently wiped the tears from his right cheek, then grinned again. "You play too much with Miles, Zandy, even though you know you don't love her. You still love Beverly and you're still waiting on her, do you? So please, let her decide whether she would give me another chance or not. Just deal with Beverly's return. Mind your own, Zandy," Roven insisted.
I was confused by what I heard. How well do they know each other? Why did Zandy agree to Roven's plan then and why does Roven know Beverly and Zandy's feelings for her? Earlier my heart was filled with joy but from what I heard, there was some pain and disappointment in my heart. I also felt Zandy relax slightly on my arm. He stayed silent either.
"You heard right, Zandy, Beverly is back in the Philippines and you can love her again so let Miles go, let him go," added Roven.
Silence prevailed for a moment. "What if I don't, Roven? What if I don't want to let Miles go?" I was in awe of Zandy. I felt his grip on my arm tightens again. "You left her without your explanation and you used me with your plans to hurt her to leave you and then you come back to say you still love Miles and you regret what you did? The damage has been done, Roven and you wouldn't make it healed just because you're saying sorry," continued Zandy.
I felt the corner of my eyes watering. Joy appeared in my heart because of Zandy's words as if he hugged me to defend and fight.
"That's why I'm here, Zandy explaining everything to her," Roven insisted. "I know I hurt Miles and I also know it's not easy for him to forgive me but I'm here, willing to do anything for her."
Zandy grinned. "Alright, explain the reason why you did that thing?"
Roven turned to me. His eyes were dark, probably due to the effects of alcohol, but it seemed to be lessened by what was happening. His eyes speak. "Miles, you know me and my family. I am a breadwinner in the family and I have to work for all of them who depend on me. My parents, my brother, my brother's family, even my nieces, everyone depends on me. You know everything about me and my family, Miles, and how many times we fought with you. I also know that you are struggling with the situation and that you are sharing my time with them. I can't leave them alone and see them starve. That's why I tried to break up with you but I couldn't because I love you so I thought of that plan to make you angry with me and leave me for that chance. But I was wrong, I was wrong that I did that thing when I could have included you in my dream," added Roven. I saw tears in his eyes.
Tears fell one after the other in my eyes. All of Roven and I's past came back to my memory. I have known him who has a large family, all of his siblings who have families, rely on him even though they are still strong. We've argued about that matter several times. His family didn't treat me well either because their son's attention was divided. I endured that because I loved Roven back then so I understood everything even though it was painful and difficult.
"Do you think, Roven, your reason for hurting me is valid? I try to understand you and your messy family because I love you and I don't deserve your reason for hurting me." I took my hand back from Zandy and quickly walked towards my car. I rode there. I wiped the tears from my eyes before turning it on.
Why am I still hurting? Every time I think about what happened to me and Roven back then, the pain is still there. Do I still love him or I just can't accept his reason for hurting me?