"I WANT us to be like this forever, Miles." I shook my head to get it out of my mind. I feel like I'm going crazy because everything Zandy said and the kiss he had last night kept coming back to my mind. I couldn't look at him because of the shame I felt. It's like burning my cheeks because they immediately turn red.
I don't even know why I let Zandy kiss me and whether I admit it or not, a tickle appeared in my heart and a strange feeling that gave me happiness. Am I right to feel that? Is what I heard from Zandy also true and should I believe it all?
"Hey! I've noticed, lately you've always been in deep thought," Andrea teased me while we were at a restaurant to eat lunch.
I didn't realize that I was dumbfounded again because of the way I thought about Zandy and the strange things he was showing and making me feel and I didn't want to rely on them.
I blinked and faced Andrea. I smiled casually, then turned to the food in front of me. "No, Andrea, I just thought of something," I answered safely, but I knew she had a follow-up question.
She looked at me meaningfully. "Thinking? I guess it's Zandy, isn't it? What's with him?" She was curious. "Lately, it seems like you're not always irritated with him and you're not frowning because of him anymore. What, is there any progress in your relationship?"
I looked up at her, then raised an eyebrow. "There is no relationship that will make us progress, Andrea, because we don't have it," I answered. I didn't say a word for a while and sighed. "Honestly, at first I had a hard time adjusting to the setup with Zandy. We always fight about many things, especially when it comes to our past but lately, something has changed. I just woke up without a fight and I understand him and what he wants to do in his life and I know he is the same for me because of the strangeness he shows towards me," I confessed seriously.
Andrea became silent and stopped eating while looking at me as if examining my facial expression. I bowed slightly.
"Does that mean you and Zandy have made up?" She smiled. "I'm telling you, something strange has changed, not only in your company with Zandy but also in you. You've always been out of this world, you're not mad at Zandy anymore and every time we talk about him, you smile that's it. What, have you formed a view in your heart for Zandy?" Andrea seemed to ask excitedly.
Is there already? I shook my head. "I'm happy, Andrea, that no matter what, Zandy and I have come to an understanding, but I can't say that I have feelings for him," I answered directly. For me, I don't even know if I have feelings for Zandy and I can't say that I don't.
"What? Don't tell me you still love Roven?" Andrea asked with a frown.
I didn't answer right away. Do I even have feelings for Roven? I can't even say how I feel about him. "He's gone, Andrea, but maybe because he's part of my past, he's still a part of my heart that even if I try to remove him, I can't," I said seriously.
Andrea snorted and nodded while chewing. "Well, as a matter of fact, a lot has happened in your life and it's not easy to move on and it's not easy to love again." Andrea's face became serious as she just looked at me. "As your friend, Miles, I just wanted you to be happy and you can only do that when you forgive Roven and open your heart again for other people. It's been a year and you've heard everything from Roven and we can't bring back the past but we can move forward and we can do that, once we get rid of our anger in our hearts. When you forgive. When you both have closure. And when you do that, new fun begins in your heart," Andrea said, full of concern.
I was speechless as I tried to think about Andrea's words that seemed to go straight to my heart and settle there to make me understand those things that I should do to make me happy again and my heart lightened.
Andrea smiled at me and nodded. Perhaps she was right in everything she said. I need to forgive so that I can be happy so that I don't always go back to the painful past.
—
AFTER our work, we left the building together while Chad and Melissa argued again about the models to be featured in the magazine from Paris and Beverly was one of them.
"Don't you see, Chad I'm more beautiful and sexy than those models," Melissa insisted because Chad repeatedly said that those models are beautiful and sexy. Chad is always in the studio for those pictorials.
"You're too talkative, Melissa, models aren't like that," Chad said bluntly.
Andrea and I just laughed and shook our heads because of these two who kept fighting just because of that thing. I really wouldn't be surprised if the two of them ended up together.
We finally got out of the building. I immediately felt the cold air touching my skin. But after we got out, I stopped when my eyes hit a familiar figure standing next to his car.
"Is that Zandy?" asked Andrea who also noticed Zandy.
I saw Zandy look at us and walk toward us. He immediately smiled at my companions and his handsome smile did not escape my eyes.
"Hi, bro," Chad greeted. The two even fist-bumped while smiling.
They all know the real reason why Zandy and I got married and the fact that we don't love each other and they all hope that everything will be true for Zandy and me.
"You seem to be getting more handsome, Zandy, huh?" praised Melissa who was thrilled.
"I'm too, huh?" Chad replied.
"Stop fantasizing, Chad! You're not handsome!" Melissa said annoyed that she was just getting revenge on the young man.
I blinked when I saw Zandy's eyes fall on me. I looked away from him.
"Why are you here, Zandy?" I ask. I was shy to face him and I felt my cheeks getting hot again.
"I'm here to pick you up, Miles," he said seriously, followed by the 'eye' of our companions. "I will bring you somewhere," he added.
I felt Andrea slightly nudge me. "Girl, Zandy is going to take you somewhere. Maybe to heaven," Andrea whispered, laughing and trying not to giggle.
I slightly hit her with my shoulder. I frowned at her. "Crazy!" I said to her, the excitement on the faces of my companions could not be hidden. I was more and more ashamed. I faced Zandy who couldn't look him directly in the eyes. "Now?" I asked in disbelief.
Zandy nodded and smiled. "Yeah," he replied. He faced my companions. "Nice to see you again, guys! I'll borrow Miles from you first," he said goodbye, then grabbed my arm which surprised me. It was like an energy crawled through my body because of that. I felt a heat that reddened my cheeks even more. Good thing it's night now.
Their smiles widened as they looked at us with excitement.
"It's ok Zandy. She's your wife and you own her," said Andrea.
"Alright, be careful. I'm a godmother, huh?" Melissa was joking.
My eyes widened at what Melissa said. "C-crazy!" I just said I was shy. I also heard Zandy's soft laugh which was pleasant to hear.
"Sure, Melissa. I'll announce if we make it," Zandy jokes.
To my surprise, I pinched his side so he immediately jumped while I heard his laughter. "Are you crazy, Zandy?" He grabbed his side while a smile remained on his lips which was very handsome to look at.
"Why? We are family, right? Naturally, we will have a baby," he continued.
"Zandy, you know we never—"
"It doesn't matter, Miles, the important thing is we're married. We're still married in everyone's eyes," he insisted with a serious face
I'm serious. Is what he says true or is he still pretending to this day? That's right, he was just teasing me in front of my co-workers.
"Ayieh! All right, you go. Respect the singles here," laughed Melissa.
"Eh, it's not just us." We were all surprised by what Chad said and I saw Melissa's eyes widen and didn't immediately answer. "I mean, we'll just leave so they can leave too," Chad took back what he said.
Andrea snorted. "Clumsy!" She said and frowned.
"We're ahead of you, see you next time!" said Zandy and gently pulled me towards his car. I just watched him seriously until we got to his car and got in there.
I looked away from him and turned it to the front. Silence reigned over us until the car drove off somewhere. I was deafened by the silence as I heard the beating of my heart which I knew was not normal.
Why does Zandy treat me like that even in front of my co-workers? He knows that they know our situation and he doesn't need to pretend in front of them to make them believe that we love each other.
I sighed. I can't take the silence between us anymore. "Zandy," I called him. "Where are we going?" I just stared at him for a moment.
"You will know too, Miles when we are there. I want you to bring me to the place where I feel happiness and freedom," he said seriously. He also turned to me for a moment.
I frowned. In the place where he feels happiness and freedom? I asked myself and an idea came to my mind where. Zandy feels that only in the kitchen when he cooks.
Later the car stopped. Zandy came down and opened the door for me. I didn't move for a while before deciding to get down. The lighted side of the road and some people walking along the road exposed me.
"Let's go, Miles," said Zandy. He walked first and I followed.
He went to a large building with two floors. I looked up to look at it. It's a glass wall and based on what I can see, it's restaurant style because of the tables and chairs inside that I can see because of the light in the glass. Is this the restaurant Zandy is building?
Zandy opened the door of the building and entered first. I followed him. He turned on the light so the surroundings became brighter. I can't help but be amazed by its design. The ambiance is very refreshing. Its brown and vintage theme is pleasing to the eye. The interior design of the restaurant is also very good.
"I want to show you the place where I'm always happy and I feel like I'm free to do what I love without pressure," Zandy said while I was busy looking around.
"Wow! You made it, Zandy, and I'm happy for you." I don't know but I was filled with joy and happiness for him. I feel the satisfaction that Zandy has. I faced him and I couldn't stop myself. I was also surprised when I suddenly hugged him. "You made it. This is your dream," I said while hugging him and I know he was also surprised by what I did.
"M-Miles," was all he said.
Only then did I realize what I had done so I quickly separated from him as if I had been burned. I was overcome with joy and emotion for Zandy. I know this is what he wants to do and now that he can do it, I am so happy for him.
"I'm sorry," I said, unable to look at him directly.
"No, it's ok, Miles," Zandy said and I saw the smile on his lips from the corner of my eyes. He scratched his forehead. He didn't say a word for a while. He turned around the restaurant and smiled.
"Honestly, it wasn't easy to build your own business without your parents' support. I graduated in a field of business because that's what my family wanted even though I knew what I wanted to do in my cooking. I followed what they wanted but inside I wanted to cook and I don't like the company. I don't know about the gaming industry and I know I can't run the company. And I was at the point in my life where I was losing my passion for cooking and Ton offered me help so I could do it. And, yeah, I did." A happy smile drew on Zandy's lips and I could see on his face what he went through to fulfill it now replaced with happiness because finally, he was here to do what he wanted to do.
"You deserved this, Zandy. I can see your love for cooking and I can taste it in every dish you cook. I'm happy for you, Zandy, and I will support you in what you want to do," I returned to him full of sincerity.
"You're a part of it, Miles. You're a part of all of this. Thank you for your support and for understanding what I want to do. You gave me the strength to do more," he said, full of emotion. "That's why, I brought you here. Aside from Ton, you're the only one I brought to this place, 'cause why not? I want you to be a part of my success and of my life, Miles."
Our eyes met and neither wanted to be useful. I can feel the fast beating of my heart that doesn't want to stop at the same time as the happiness that surrounds me.
"Zandy."
I just realized that Zandy was holding my waist and we were getting close to each other. "What if I don't want us to end, Miles?" Zandy said softly. His baritone voice gnawed at my ears which brought me a strange feeling. The hair on my body stood up because of that.
"What do you mean—"
I hadn't even finished what I was going to say when Zandy suddenly kissed me. I could not move and did nothing. I just realized that I had closed my eyes while savoring Zandy's kiss at the same time as I reciprocated every kiss he gave me.