I SLOWLY opened my eyes and the bright surroundings revealed me. I winced when I felt a pain in the middle of my thigh. I frowned. I was immediately worried when I felt the firm arm that was supporting me and the man hugging me.
I blinked repeatedly. I swallowed saliva as I was attacked by nervousness. No! Suddenly everything came back to what happened last night. My strange feelings, the heat, and desire. My eyes widened and my mouth fell open, as I kept thinking back to Zandy's passionate kiss with me and the whole thing that happened to us last night.
No! This cannot happen. I turned to the one hugging me and saw Zandy sleeping soundly while hugging me. His big body is also exposed. He moved a little more and moaned.
"What did you do, Miles?" I asked in my mind. I just realized what happened. I gave myself to Zandy without hesitation. I can't believe what I did. I bit my lower lip.
I slowly removed Zandy's hand that was hugging me but he hugged me even tighter and moaned slightly.
I closed my eyes tightly. What will I do? I don't seem to be able to confront Zandy with this. Shame! I became fragile because of that strange feeling.
I moved again. I tried to remove Zandy's hand from my body again, which I did. I slowly wrapped the blanket around my body. I sat on the bed but was about to stand up when Zandy hugged me again.
"Just stay here for a while, Miles," Zandy whispered without opening her eyes. I was suddenly attacked by a strange feeling as if something in my stomach had disappeared from there, followed by a fast beating of my heart. He hugged me and didn't move. "Let's be like this for a while."
I couldn't move. I feel his body on me which gives me a strange feeling. I just didn't move and let him hug me. I don't know where to put the joy and pity that fills my heart because of what Zandy said and what he is doing. Whether I admit it or not, I feel like a teenager having a blast. I'm ashamed of him but I also want us to be like this.
I slowly faced Zandy. His serious face was revealed to me while he closed his eyes but I knew he was awake. I remembered what he said that he was responsible for whatever happened and he was responsible for what happened to us.
I couldn't help but stare at him and observe his handsome face. I never get tired of looking at him. "I like you like this, Zandy, when I open my eyes, you're the first thing I see," I said softly, then smiled.
Zandy slowly opened her eyes and looked directly at me, his face just serious. "Are you willing to see me every time you open your eyes in the morning?" he asked.
A slight look of shock appeared on my face. I couldn't answer. Am I ready? I avoided looking at him because honestly, I'm still afraid to get used to always being like this with Zandy because there might come a point where Zandy realizes that he just needs me and doesn't love me.
I felt the relaxation of Zandy's embrace on me. He looked away from me and sat on the bed, then stood up. I saw him walk towards the kitchen wearing only his boxers. He drank water there.
I bit my lower lip. After all, I immediately felt guilty because I felt that he was hurt by my not answering. My grip was tight on the blanket wrapped around my body.
I already love Zandy but I'm not ready to fight for it because of the fear I feel of what might happen. I am happy with this setup for both of us.
—
I packed the things I had with me with no desire. I feel so heavy, especially since Zandy doesn't talk to me because of what happened earlier. I couldn't even look at him directly because I was ashamed of what happened to the two of us last night.
Zandy came out of the Villa first. I followed him and was slightly surprised to see him outside the door of the Villa waiting for me. Without saying a word, he took my suitcase and started walking. I just sighed and slumped my shoulders to follow him.
"Thank you, Mr. and Mrs. Saavedra!" said Mila with sadness on her face as she informed us. "We will miss you!"
I smiled at Mila while Zandy was busy arranging our things in his car. "Thank you too, Mila, for taking care of us while we were at the Villa." I smiled. Ted also said goodbye.
After saying goodbye to the resort staff, we got into the car and Zandy drove it. He is quiet and silent but I can feel his strange feelings.
I mustered up the strength to speak. I know I have to tell him something so I feel this guilt. "I'm sorry, Zandy," I said bravely.
"For what?" he asked coldly without even looking at me.
"I'm sorry for always answering you in silence every time you ask me about that," I said sadly.
Zandy was silent for a moment. "I understand, Miles I just can't help but feel mad because I feel like I'm still not good enough for you to trust yourself," he answered gently.
"It's not like that, Zandy, you can't blame me for being afraid of what could happen. I have my past and so do you. Honestly, I appreciate your efforts, everything you do I want it but I don't either understand why I can't give myself fully yet," I explained full of emotion. "I'm sorry, Zandy but I'm happy with what we have now. I'm not ready but I'm still trying to be ready for you."
Zandy looked at me for a moment. "If that's what you want, then there's nothing I can do. I'll give you time to think," he said seriously.
Silence prevailed between us again as the car continued to move. I kept looking at him while he just focused on the road.
"M-Miles," Zandy cut through the silence. "About what happened last night, I'm sorry," he apologized. "I know something happened."
My eyes narrowed because of what he said. I remembered what happened with Zandy and I was drawn to that strange feeling. I looked away from him. "What do you mean something happened?" I asked curiously.
Zandy took a breath. "I know you felt the same way I felt that night after we ate dinner. We felt the heat after dinner." Zandy was silent for a moment. "But I won't regret what happened between us, Miles," he added.
I bowed when he turned to me. I still feel ashamed of Zandy when I remember that. I frowned and thought about what happened that night. After we ate, Mila handed us some buko juice, and a few moments later, I felt that strange warmth and strange feeling. That's why I felt so much heat and desire for Zandy that night.
I didn't say anything right away. "You mean they put something in our food to make us feel it?"
"I don't know what it was but I'm sure they put something in the food or the drink so we can feel the heat of our bodies. There's only one person I know who can do this...Mom," he said seriously. no longer surprised at the name mentioned.
My eyes widened slightly. Aunt Mandy? It's no wonder that she planned it because Zandy and I know how much she wants Zandy and me to stay together, but I still can't help but be surprised because of what she did. I didn't know it would get to this point and I didn't know how I would feel, but for myself, I couldn't feel regret because I gave my femininity to Zandy.