I remember she put me in one large tub for washing clothes and I heard fixing the horse for pulling it...when she pick me and put me inside her smell was so bad ..and her clothes wet and very dirty ...but she was strong..I was losing blood for how many hours and maybe for that I fall asleep ...I wake up next day afternoon and when I open my eyes I saw everything dark and I was lying in some old bags of cements and covered by one dirty plastic garbage bag...I felt disgusted by the bad smell and it made me vomit ... everything was very dirty ..I tried to stand up little but impossible for me to move ...my wound was taking like a black color maybe started to infection...in my second trial to stand little up I throw accidentally a bottle down and broken...the sound send the lady inside ...she smiled at me and help me to stand in my ass ..and she go bit far ...she's spelling and spelling words like a song everything...I remembered when she pick up me on the way home she's doing also like this..maybe she was sick..by the place and the things around I understood I was in maybe junk area and for sure poor people...she come back with a old bottle of water and help me to drink some ..after she sit in front of me ...I asked her in my language...what it's your name and if have other people in the house ...she shaked her head and started to spell same words like before ...
means she didn't understand nothing...I was so tired and hungry but how to say to her ...I check my pocket for money and I having in my hide pocket inside my jacket ...I make sign to her to help me remove it and I got from there one note 100$ ..I make sign to her and I touched my stomach but she just smiled ...I found one paper box near me and I make I small pieces she was observing what I'm doing....after that I talk to her and I started to put the small pieces in my mouth like I'm eating...she laughed loud and run out...when she come she was holding some vegetables soup and one piece of bread.. the bread have already white into it and was so strong ..like a piece of concrete...I tried to taste the soup ..was so sour ...and I just eat two spoon...after I push the soup in her direction ..when she removed all she sit I front of me and said
Моето име е mila..ова е моето бебе (my name it's Mila and this it's my baby ) and show the wide load holding in front...I rolled my eyes and again I become confused.and I tried to collect her words ...TINA AND BABY ...Tina her name and baby like in albanian language...I smiled and I answered
MY NAME ITS LILI ..
she jump happy and start to spell Tina lili Tina lili ..
in that moment I feeled pity for her ..she was really sick ..while I was thinking this accidentally i hurt my wond and I feel sharp pain ..I removed my left shoes and I got my knife I decided to cut my pants and to check what's going on in my leg ...I saw the meat around become black color and in center had some Yellow like past..I needed doctor I needed medicine ...I got the broken bottle near me and I took my lighter ...I asked her to make fire...of course with signs with paper and lighter...she bring some more cartons and I started to burn the old glass ...I decided to make surgery by my self atleast no more infection..but I needed alcohol...I saw a whiskey old bottle and with signs I ask her to bring it...and I give her my note 100$ and I make sign 2 bottle ..she run out while keep spelling happy LILI MILA MILA LILI ...I took the piece of my pants and I started to clean well the piece a burn...and I tried with my knife to give shape for cutting my wound after I finished I start to burn it again when Mila arrive ...she's holding two bottle of vodka GORBACHEV and she throw the Change in my legs ..it's was okay atleast she found alcohol
she sit little far and keep watching me ...I disinfect the piece of glass and I burn for the last time and I drink the vodka like water for making my self drunk and to not feel the pain..I spread also some in my swollen area...and I cut my wound again with my broken pants I clean the past and I started to dig till I saw the small piece of metal was so deep ...the blood keep on going in different color .. I open my cigarettes and I make ready to put in my wound after I finish ...I started to dig more and I reach to get out that bullet ..but I started to feel the pain for real ..the effect of vodka was short ..I was sweating and my hands start to shake ...I tried to grab the second bottle to drink more but no more power...I decided to stop and I ask Mila to come near I make sign to open and pour vodka I my open wound...I shout from the pain I shout and cried inside my heart ..the pain was so fck strong..
I feeled my power almost gone and I grab the opened cigarettes and I put deep in the wound..to stop the blood and after that I fall in coma again...