"It looks good here, Daddy!"
I giggled and picked up my DSLR and captured the view in front. As I promised on my bucket list, I went to the seaside. Of course, together with Daddy.
The pristine blue sea in front can make me stunned in a few moments. The sea looks so peaceful and the waves seem to enjoy what they're doing. The sound of it wasn't loud and noisy to my ears. It is chilling and overwhelming.
I just sat on the mat that we prepared and busied myself taking pictures there. I even took a picture of myself smiling as if I've been through nothing.
I watched my own picture after taking it. My sweet smile was back. But the way I looked before wasn't. I am slowly becoming ugly now. In my picture, I looked like the young Helleon Eummer who's free on doing things. Such as kissing someone at the bar to explore. I changed a lot, maybe.
I leave a heavy sigh. How I wish I can bring back my old self, my old life, the old Helleon Eummer. I bit my lower lip to stop my tears. I'm not in the mood to cry right now. I should be happy now that finally, I can go out.
"I miss this life, Helly."
My eyes darted on Daddy who just sat beside me. We're not here to go swimming. Heck, I might drown myself on the water in front. We're here because I asked him to.
I smiled simply. So do I, Dad.
"Rainbow after the rain." I voiced out the quote that appeared in my mind. The air here was fresh. It kissed me and flew through my wavy hair. "Finally, it's over."
I felt the overwhelming feeling within me. It's been months since the two Gladstone men were being brought to jail. We won the case, of course, it was so obvious as ever that they were the culprits. However, until now I still can't get through the pain that one of my trusted friends just betrayed me.
Daddy said the Addingston and Hadleys are now allies but I still haven't heard any news about him. I am slowly losing hope. He must've been married now. It's been months and still, I'm bedridden.
Unlike before, I can go out now whenever I want with Dad's permission. Sometimes, I also asked Aunt Hussey to go with me to be more secure. My best friends visit me at our place often too.
They are in their second year of college. They are both intelligent and that was good to hear. I admit that I really miss going to school. Especially the students of Suneast—a lot of them are my admirers. I expect that they have forgotten me now. It's been almost a year since my life suddenly changed.
Fortunately, my treatment seems effective. Though, I still feel the pain, such as my backbone and others. I am slowly getting used to it. I am accepting the fact that this is my fate. To suffer from an illness.
"What do you want to do next?" he stood up and fixed himself.
"Let's just go home, Dad. The sunset is coming."
"You don't want to witness the sunset? It's a good view, Helly. You can take a picture on it." He was convinced.
I stopped while thinking about it for a while. Hmm, the sunset was good but not enough for me. I sighed and turned to him. "I prefer watching the sunrise—or before the sun rises. It's way better for me, Dad. Let's just go home. "
I can see a ghost of happiness in Dad's expression. I finally walked away and my sweater was on my right arm. We parked the car far from us but there's nothing to worry about. It is safe here and we haven't heard of any crime happening here. The sea is always peaceful.
As I was busy stepping on my feet, out of nowhere I felt tired. I'm tired as if I'm from a long walk or hiking. I exhaled and held my knees to massage them. I bit my lower lip when I felt numb there. I am feeling this again.
I want to sit on the pathway but it's not clean there. It feels like I am sick out of the blue. I closed my eyes firmly to mumble the pain. Wrong timing as ever. I just want to feel free now but my health said no.
"Helly! Are you okay? What's happening? Why? Are you tired?"
I held on to Dad's arm while he was guiding me. Maybe this is just another sickness. I didn't eat on time lately and that was just a little. I didn't have the appetite to eat, that's why. I am pretty sure that this I'm feeling right now was because of it.
"Dad, I c-can't stand properly..." I managed to tell him while gasping for air.
"Let me just carry you, okay? We're heading to the hospital now. I'll just text your Aunt Hussey that we won't be able to return now, I'll bring you to the hospital."
I just nodded weakly. I bit my lip and that's my way to mumble the pain and the tiredness that I am feeling.
I put my arm to his shoulders and I felt that he really carried. I am really feeling tired and I don't know what's happening to me. I do hope that I am just okay. I managed to not to close my eyes to be aware of where we are heading too.
Unfortunately, I wasn't able to know what happened next. I can feel how my world turns dark.
I slowly opened my eyes while shielding my eyes from the light above me. I saw the white ceiling and just because of that, my system woke up and I then realized where I am now.
I tried hard to stand myself from laying down. I knew it, I passed out lately or maybe—I don't know anymore. Heck, I don't know what day it is now. I turned my head to both sides to find out if I was alone or not. Just a few moments later, the door opened and an image of a familiar person welcomed me.
I was stunned for a moment. I expected that it was Dad who clicked the doorknob but I was wrong.
My heart started to beat wildly. Everything in me ended up trembling and finding any words to be my explanation. His dark and cold gaze sent shivers within my system.
"D-dawn..."
It felt nostalgic. I managed to stop my tears from falling while I was busy staring at my man. Uh, can I still call him mine? I felt bitter when I realized that.
I turned my head to him again and this time, he looked up and I still can see how he clenched his jaws. The dark eyes just became soft and while staring at it for minutes, I had a clue on what he is feeling right now.
He is in pain.
"I'm so sorry, Dawn. I didn't contact you even though the case was over. I didn't even find you after that. I'm sorry, I almost forgot us." I said while swallowing hard. That was true, I realize that I've been being slowly irresponsible to our relationship. Now, it's unhealthy.
I expected him to say something but it didn't come. Instead of talking to me, I saw him sitting beside me while staring at me as if he was memorizing everything about me.
I can't make eye contact with him. I looked away when my cheeks heated.
"I am the one who should say sorry. Sorry for everything, Helly. I just let you carry everything even though it was heavier than the world. It must've been so hard for you."
My heart raced when he held my thin pale hand tightly. He intertwined our fingers just like the normal couples. I smiled. My sweet moments with him were just countable.
I looked at him again. He grew more. He became more manly, lean, and masculine. He has a clean haircut and he has become more attractive now. Oh my goodness, is he really my boyfriend? How come someone hot as him fell in love with me? Oh, maybe because I'm gorgeous and until now, maybe he still finds me gorgeous.
I remember our cat, I can't take care of Dyxxie. I just left him in the mansion with Aunt Hussey. She enjoyed being with that cat so much.
"I miss you," I muttered. He stopped.
It was already late when I realized what I just muttered. I close my eyes firmly. I know I miss him but I don't think I should voice it out in front of him!
"I missed you more. I miss us, Helly."
That echoed to my ears. Oh come on, I am sure that he still loves me.
"You're married now, right? Uh, I am asking a very obvious question. Why would you stay single anyway?" I asked bitterly.
An image of him working for his own family made me flatter but when I realize that maybe, the wife wasn't me makes me bitter.
His brows furrowed. He is still handsome while doing those.
"What did I tell you the last time? I said I am not going to marry anyone else but you. I declined the arrangement. I don't want it." he answered. I just nodded while lowkey thinking where to go with him now. Of course, I can do it freely.
"You're not married, then? But what if I can't be able to marry you? Then you will suffer forever? That sucks, Dawn." I rolled my eyes, though, I also want him to just marry me instead. But I don't want to be selfish.
"How come loving you became my suffering? Then I will marry you as soon as possible. Before the five years from now."
He said with full determination. I was stunned when I realized the last sentence he said. I knew that he was aware when he saw my reaction. He sighed heavily.
"You have cancer in your blood. That came after the incident happened... You often see red marks on your body parts but you just ignore it... you only have five years to live from now."
I bit my lower lip. Oh yeah, he knew it. Dad told him maybe.
"I'm sorry, I kept it a secret. I just don't want you to think about me that much, we're in the middle of chaos, Dawn." I explained, feeling guilty.
He sighed. I know he is trying to understand everything that I kept. Since then, he knew everything about me. I told him all of it. He knows me more.
I was in the urge to confess the truth but something stopped me.
When I went to him when I escaped. He said that he doesn't want to lose me again. I want to stay with him. I felt sorry when I realized that staying with him meant hiding the real me.