"Mom's been friends with Bricianna Hadley?" I asked while my mind was floating trying to figure things out.
My world stopped when I saw him nodding. All this time I was being arranged with Dawn? Heck.
It's hard for me to figure that out. I still can't believe it! Until days had passed, I want to slap my face just to make sure that it was real. Daddy didn't deny it. He said it's true. I am bound to marry my boyfriend without me knowing. I want to jump in the joy that I feel right now. As after all the hardships that I've been through, there's still a thought that can make me happy.
The doctor said I should be careful about everything that I will do. It might cause my skin to bleed. Even just those small and simple gestures. Just like brushing my teeth. It might cause my gums to bleed.
I stayed at the hospital for a while. Aunt Hussey never failed to visit me here too. She always brought me some fruits and vegetables. Before, I really don't eat these kinds of food that much but now, I had to do it. It's for my own sake and to make me stay healthy despite everything.
“How are you feeling?” The doctor asked.
He checked my situation and check if there's something that happened on my skin and consulting things about my cancer. Dad was here also. He looked at me with those usual eyes. But I know, I can read his feelings through his face. Don't worry Dad, I also want to end this illness.
“I'm feeling fine, though I don't know what's happening inside my body,” I answered.
He nodded. “There's a high possibility that you will survive for this year. Just keep yourself away from stress and unhealthy things so that you'll make it this year,” he advised.
I sighed in relief. Good thing, though. I don't know anymore. I still don't want to leave them. My family and my best of friends. I don't want to cause another downfall for Daddy anymore. I want him to stay alive while I'm no longer with him anymore. I'm glad to know that my body is fighting this hellish illness. I should keep fighting.
“Do you take your meds on time?” he asked another question.
I nodded. “Yes, doc.”
“Good,” he smiled. “You should keep that way. Take care of yourself, Helly. Eat well, sleep well and rest well. Don't pass a meal without taking your meds. Got it?”
I nodded. Being obedient. He bid his goodbye to Daddy before going out of the room.
That was just a normal day of mine. Talking to Dad and Dawn. He went here more often these days. After he knew about my situation, he never passed a day without talking to me. I expect him to stay away from me because of my situation. I don't deserve them, the time that they are spending with me. Though, the doctor said there's a high possibility that I will make this but that won't change the fact that I'm dying now.
“Dad, Dawn will visit here now. Uh, Am I looking just fine?”
I asked Dad with puppy eyes. He'll answer ‘no’ and he will regret it. That's what I'm saying inside my mind. Of course, that's just a not so funny joke of mine. He creased his brows and looked at me from head to toe.
“Just looking fine. But, you should wash yourself, Helly. Your boyfriend might fall out of love because of your smell.” he chuckled.
My eyes widened and my mouth half-opened. “What?! Dad, are you saying that I smell so very bad? Oh my Goodness, I'm the worst!”
I heard him laughed. “Uh-uh, go and wash yourself. Change your clothes into a nice one.”
I rolled my eyes in awe and just followed what he said. I went to the comfort room and had my shower there. Dawn called just a while ago and he said he'll be attending just one conference and he will go here. I know he's a busy person that's why I don't expect much anything from him. Although, I would be glad if he'll throw a visit to me.
I hummed my favorite song while combing my hair slowly. Every brush of it, I make sure that it will just be doing fine and I won't hurt myself. I put a little bit of blush on and lip tint. I winked at myself in the reflection after fixing myself. I am now looking good.
“How are you feeling?”
Dawn kissed my lips gently but that was just a smack type of kiss. He was still in his usual corporate attire and his hair was in mess. Hmm, maybe he's tired?
“I'm just fine, Dawn,” I answered. “How about you? The meeting lately, how was it?”
He placed the stool chair near to me and sit there. “Just talking about our new project. Though I know this time the project would be a bit hard but I'll take care of it.”
I nodded. Although I don't have knowledge about their business thingy because I'm not like him. He's good at handling such business while I can't see myself in his situation. I can't see myself wearing corporate attire and talking in front of our business colleagues inside the conference room.
“Are you thirsty or what? I can bring water for you, just tell me everything you need.”
I shooked my head. “Aren't you tired of being here? You know, you also have your own problems and I am too. Dawn, I won't force you if you can't throw a visit for me just a day. I also want you to rest yourself. I know you're exhausted now.”
He closed his eyes firmly. “You're problems are mine too. Stop thinking that I'm exhausted. That would never be a reason for me not to be here. I love going here Helly, I love going to the places where you at. Don't worry about me, okay?”
“But Dawn. . . I can't help it. I want you to rest just for a day, okay? I don't want to be a burden to you. Uhm, I also want you here though but you don't have to worry for me that much. I have Dad, Shannie, and also Yulla to take care of me. So if you're tired, just rest for a while.” I smiled at him for assurance.
“Fine, if that will sink your boat.” He chuckled.
“When will be your next free time? I understand if you'll just visit me twice a week. Or let's say, on weekends.”
“Helly, don't worry about my schedule. I can go here anytime I want. I have my secretary and he'll just update me on everything and about my appointments. Okay? Just let me visit you anytime I want. I can ditch for you so that you won't feel so alone here.”
I froze for a moment. No, this can't be! He never failed to take care of me even though that was just on the weekend but ditching his workdays just for me, no, he shouldn't do that! His family would be disappointed.
"No need, Dawn. I mean, you always took care of me if you have free time but you don't have to ditch your workdays. Everyone has high expectations for you." I said worryingly.
He sighed and sat beside me. I can sense from his expression that he is somewhat pissed at what I said. I hope he got my point correctly. "I don't care about their expectations. And, the company won't be bankrupt if their CEO will be absent for just a day. Don't worry, I can handle it."
I pouted and bit my lip. I felt sorry that he had to do all of this just for me. Am I that worth it to him? Ditching on his workdays is new.
"Don't do it next time. If you're worried that I will get bored, I can call Shannie and Yulla to come here anyway, and I have Dyxxie with me." I caressed his large hands.
"Hmm, yeah. I just got so worried about you. I hate seeing you laying in this kind of bed, Helly." He is on the hospital bed.
I just smiled and chuckled. I then welcomed his embrace. He kissed me gently on the cheeks and minutes after, his lips met mine. We didn't do this often because of his schedule so that's why I miss kissing him.
He indeed never did that again. Shannie and Yulla visited me here more often. But Yulla is always busy with her personal things, that's why I only have Shannie now. It's just fine though, the room was always filled with our soulful touches of laughter because of her jokes.
She always witnessed my pain while she's with me. I can't help but to feel sorry for her that she has to witness me in this kind of situation.
"Shannie babyboo is just here, okay? Just hold on please, please!"
I wiped the tears in my eyes when I saw her eyes were watering. I talked to her and told her everything about how I am feeling.
"Sorry, I have to worry about you..."
"No, please, I'm sorry. If only I can steal your pain then I will! You're my baby boo and I hate it when you're hurting, Helly."
It was a stab in my chest and a slap on my face. I didn't expect that she loves me to the point she will wish to just carry my pain.
"I love you, guys. I always treasured you but I don't know if I would stay any longer anymore. I am tired of being like this. I am tired of taking meds. I am tired of mumbling the pain. I'm tired of pretending that I'm strong enough to fight all of these." I can't help my voice crack.
"I'm tired of studying, Shannie. There's no need for it. I would die anyw—"
"No!" she screamed. "Please don't say that. I still want to be with you. Please, Helly, wait for Yulla, she also misses you. Tell everything you want to tell Dawn, make him understand your pain. Tell your Dad everything about how much you love and treasure his existence. And if that happens, then I will let you rest so you won't need to suffer anymore."
She said while closing her eyes firmly and held my hand.