"Because you are the piece of me I wish I didn't need."
PRESENT:
SAGE
I watch as he sinks down on the floor, sitting on his knees, his face in his hands. The pieces of the broken vase lie near his body, but he doesn't seem to care. For a second, I think he's crying, but I could be wrong.
Why am I even looking at him?
It's been one day, and I'm already getting tired of his presence. It's like he ignites this fire in me that completely drowns me in him. I find myself watching his every move, in pure hatred.
His presence suffocates me, and it's like I can't breathe when he's around, which is not a good thing considering I have to spend three full years with him.
I don't have time for this bullshit.
I don't have time for him.
I find myself wishing he was dead, at least fifty times a day.
At least that would hurt less than his betrayal.
I might seem a tad bit dramatic, but trust me when I say, it would definitely hurt less.
After the oh-so-wonderful encounter that night with Wade, I was admitted to the hospital for two fucking weeks because I kept having panic attacks, and my heart rate was dropping every other hour.
I wished I could have died to stop the pain.
Luckily, I was saved, and then I had to move away from here to get away from everything.
My life abroad was quite refreshing, actually. I met a lot of new people and got to see a better reality of this world.
It would have been better if I didn't have this crippling self-hatred and the urge to call Wade back for almost two fucking years.
Everything else was okay, and there's an unexplainable feeling of being just a speck in a world that is unaffected by you.
When you're angry, everything else seems angry too because your vision has a filter over it from your emotions. But to anyone else, it's a normal scene, just an average day because they aren't affected by your anger; they don't feel it.
And hell, I was so angry that if anyone from here came to me, I would have definitely shot them in the head.
For that sole reason, I couldn't talk to Sagi for almost two years.
I felt bad; I knew he was nowhere involved in this and had no idea just like me, but seeing him reminded me of that place.
But when I finally gathered the courage to call him after two years, I was almost in tears when I heard his happy voice.
He told me to meet him at one of our favorite cafes, where we always got the chocolate milkshakes.
Chocolate milkshakes were always our thing.
As soon as I reached the cafe, I felt myself getting pulled into a warm embrace by none other than Sagi.
I looked at him, still in his arms, and saw that he was looking at me with a big grin on his face that showed his dimples, but there were tears in his eyes. Long gone were any traces of a young boy on his face now; he looked like a man.
His hair, originally black, was now dyed light brown, much longer than when we were eighteen.
He grew a lot in height and physique compared to me, and his jawline was more prominent. It seemed like his voice had also changed into a deeper version.
My thoughts were interrupted when my phone rang, showing that it was Danny, my assistant calling.
Danny was such an adorable girl. I think she was about a year younger than me, but she was like a ball of sunshine compared to me. But trust me, I did my best to match her and it was genuinely so fun when she was around.
I think she has a crush on me for some reason. I mean, she blushes whenever I get too close or flirt, which I do way too often for my own good.
I would have dated her. I mean, of course, I don't love her, but I like her more than other people.
I don't love anybody currently, including my family. After that incident, I believe that love makes a person weak, and in the end, I am alone, so I can't be weak anymore.
Yes, I do like my family, but to say that I love them would be a little too much. I am not someone who says, "I love you," to people ever, which makes me sad sometimes.
There was only one person who I loved with all of my heart, but after him, I have no space for letting anyone in.
"Hello?" She spoke on the phone. "Hi," I chirped out, trying to be cheerful, swallowing the lump in my throat, and wetting my dry lips.
"How is your first day as a married woman going on?" she asked, a teasing glint in her voice. I inwardly groaned but mumbled, "It was good," to her.
My eyes secretly wandered off to where Wade was sitting first. Now that I saw, he was cleaning the vase that I broke.
Fuck me, seriously.
Danny's voice became more teasing because I seemed to space out looking at Wade. So I decided to change the topic and ask her why she called so early in the morning.
"Oh yeah, about that, remember the Italian mafia case?" she asked as if we hadn't been working on that case for months.
Kai Alessandro.
The new leader of the Italian mafia, the one and only.
He contacted me about a year ago because he found out that his paternal uncle had kept young girls in his basement. They were raped and tortured severely by him and his men. Fortunately, he had released the girls as soon as he found out. But he couldn't let any of his own mafia lawyers fight the case because he was worried that they might betray him.
So he ended up connecting with me because technically I am one of the best criminal defense lawyers in all of the mafias, not to be bragging or anything.
The last hearing of the court is in the next two weeks, so my team and I have been preparing for that. I must admit everyone has been working really hard.
There were about three victims who are going to speak, the main one being an 18-year-old girl named Zee. She was an orphan who tried to leave her orphanage because she was getting abused but ended up getting kidnapped by Kai's uncle. The poor girl has gone through so much that when I told her that she is finally getting her freedom soon, she cried in my embrace for about an hour.
"Sage, are you still there, love?" Wade spoke, and I came out of my thoughts once again.
"Yeah, yeah, speak," I said, and again my eyes wandered off to Wade, who was sitting on my seat, typing something on my laptop.
What the fuck is up with this dude?
"Okay, so..." I heard her take a deep breath. "Zee is dead."
"H-huh?" I spoke, not understanding her.
"Zee committed suicide. The guards found her hanged by a rope in her room. She wrote 'I am sorry, Sage and Danny' on the wall."
"Please tell me you are joking, Wade," I cupped my hand over my mouth, choking over my own spit.
"I am not," she croaked up on the line, her condition the same as mine.
"H-how? Where were the fucking guards?" I raised my voice. There was tight security. There is no way she could have committed suicide.
"Zee said that she wanted to study for a few hours, so she told the guards to go rest for a while. After a few hours when they came back, they saw that the door was unlocked, so they went in and found her dead."
"There is no fucking way she killed herself. It was a murder. She was fucking happy, you know that, Wade."
"Exactly, so now what should I do? Just tell me, and I will try to do whatever I have to, but you also have to come here in some time."
"Send her body to the pathologists and call the police to examine her room and the whole floor. Lock all the guards in the prison for now. I just know it's one of them who helped someone kill her."
She mumbled a small okay and hung up.
I have to contact Kai immediately. So, forgetting my coffee, I went straight to the table and sat in front of my laptop.
When I sat in front of the laptop, I saw that Wade fucking changed my wallpaper to our wedding picture.
Specifically, the one where he had my face cupped in his hands, and I was telling him that he would be dead if he kissed me. But to the camera, we looked like a couple in love.
We must be really good at pretending.
I will deal with him later.
I called Kai and told him all that had happened. He told me he is immediately going to come back from his business trip in Spain and go to the police station, asking me to be present there as well.
I massaged my head in frustration. This is so fucked up.
I kept my head on the table, my stomach growling from hunger because I skipped dinner last night, and a migraine making its way to my head.
I heard sounds of cutlery, and when I looked up, I wasn't sure if I was dreaming or not.
There was a bowl of cheese pasta with a note kept next to it.
And there stood Wade in all his glory, holding the bowl for me.
He looked at me for a second with a strange look on his face and then walked away, leaving me with the pasta and a note.
I picked up the note slowly, hoping he wouldn't notice that I care. Actually, I don't, but well, I am just a curious person.
"I don't know what you were thinking, but I was not going to slap you. You know I could never do it. There was something on your face, and I was trying to remove that. Eat the food, please. Sorry again."
I opened my camera, and indeed, there was something on my face.
So, I did all that for nothing? And he still didn't scold me but cleaned up the mess I made and even made me freaking cheese pasta.
Lord.
I was thinking of apologizing, but then again, do I really have to? I think not. He deserves it. I am just waiting for him to stop his "nice husband" facade and show his true colors.
Me being me, I kept the note on the table and didn't eat the pasta, although it looked very tempting.
He came back about 2 seconds later, as if he was waiting for me to finish reading the note.
I just ignored his gaze on me and typed a random report on my laptop.
"Sage, eat the pasta," Wade urged, his voice filled with a mix of concern and determination.
I chose to ignore him, keeping my attention fixed on the document I was working on. Wade, however, persisted.
"Please, Sage," he pleaded, his tone softening slightly.
Still, I remained resolute, my focus solely on my laptop screen. Irritated by his persistence, I muttered a sarcastic response under my breath, "I swear, Wade, if you don't leave me alone..."
Before I could finish my sentence, I felt his hand gently lift my chin, his fingers guiding me to look at him. In one swift motion, he managed to scoop up a forkful of pasta and placed it in my mouth. Caught off guard, I choked on the pasta, causing a fit of coughing.
Concern flashed across his eyes, and he rushed to the kitchen to fetch a glass of water, handing it to me as I struggled to catch my breath. It was an unexpected gesture of care, and despite my annoyance, I found myself murmuring a small "thanks" as a reflex.
A faint smile tugged at Wade's lips in response to my gratitude. Seizing the opportunity, he took a bite of the pasta himself, maintaining unwavering eye contact with me. The act was peculiarly intimate, and I couldn't help but feel a mix of curiosity and confusion.
"So, are you planning to eat on your own now, or should I continue feeding you?" he asked, his smile growing wider.
Without uttering a word, I got up and made my way to the kitchen, intentionally avoiding any eye contact with him. I returned with a fresh plate, divided the pasta in half, and placed his portion in front of him, still refusing to engage in a visual exchange.
To my surprise, a genuine smile crept onto his face, and he shyly muttered a "thank you," a faint blush gracing his cheeks. He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly before taking a seat beside me.
Setting aside my laptop, I began to eat, yet I couldn't ignore the feeling of his gaze fixed upon me. Struggling to maintain a civil demeanor, my mind wavered between wanting to lash out and simply dismiss him.
Just as I was reaching my limits, my phone rang, saving me from the mounting tension. I swiftly answered the call, relieved for the distraction it provided.
"Yes?" I spoke softly, aware that Danny was likely in the police station.
"Sage, they need you at the police station within 20 minutes for some legal matter. They didn't provide any further details," she informed me.
"Alright, please message me the address, Danny. I'll be on my way," I replied, feeling a surge of urgency.
As I turned my gaze towards Wade, I intentionally emphasized the word "love" in my response. To my surprise, his tongue lightly grazed the inside of his cheek, his eyes fixated on me.
Swiftly averting my gaze, I hastened to prepare myself, knowing that time was of the essence. I returned a few minutes later, dressed and ready to leave. With my car still at my previous residence, I intended to call an Uber.
However, before I could make the call, Wade grabbed my wrist, preventing me from leaving. Attempting to free myself from his grasp, I avoided looking directly at him, but his hold only tightened.
"Are you going somewhere?" he asked softly, a tone that felt unusually gentle.
"Just out," I responded curtly, attempting to break free, yet his grip remained firm.
"You're not going alone. I'll drive you wherever you need to go," he stated firmly, his expression unyielding.
"Don't presume to give me orders," I retorted with equal determination.
"I'm not ordering you, Sage. I'm protecting you. That's why I'm here, and that's what I'll always do, whether you like it or not. You need to understand that," he asserted, tugging me towards his car.
As we embarked on our journey, I received another call, this time from Danny once again. Anxiously, I answered, placing the phone against my ear.
"Sage, you need to email me her orphanage papers right away. The police require them urgently," Danny relayed.
"Uh, okay," I responded, swiftly ending the call.
Suddenly, Wade brought the car to a sudden halt. We found ourselves in front of a charming cafe, the ambiance captivating.
"Why are we here?" I inquired, narrowing my eyes suspiciously. He had overheard my conversation with Danny, so he must know that I needed to send the email immediately. I didn't have time for him to indulge in coffee.
"You tend to get nauseous in the car when you use your devices. Step out and send the email while I order our drinks," he explained, matter-of-factly.
I had completely forgotten about my motion sickness. How did he still remember?
Gathering my belongings, including my laptop bag, I followed him out of the car. We settled at a table, and Wade headed straight to the counter without even asking for my drink preference.
There's no way he remembers my coffee order, I thought skeptically.
Upon his return, having placed the order and informed me of the estimated wait time, everyone's phone chimed simultaneously, signaling the arrival of a warning message.
"Please be advised that a two-week lockdown will commence today at 10 am due to the spread of a virus within our state. All roads will be closed precisely at 10 am. We urge you to return to your residences immediately. Further details will be provided shortly."