My daily routine continues, taking care of mom, doing my online class, and then talking to Angelo, my friends, and Maddox at night. Mom proceeds with her chemotherapy but it turns out differently than I expected.
I expected mom would get better after a few days of the chemotherapy session but it’s not. Things happen so quickly. Having a good time with mom during our tour is so vivid in my mind. I plan to do it every time she gets well after chemotherapy but now, I can’t.
We are now in the hospital for my mom’s third session of Chemotherapy. My heart is hammering in my chest at the possibility of an even worse reaction. The second she had after two weeks, mom didn’t get her energy back like the first one where we got to tour around Singapore. How much more on the third Chemotherapy Session?
“Angel, think positive,” I told myself as I paced back and forth while waiting for the Chemo session to end.
“Angel, calm down. Come and sit here beside me.” Lucy taps the chair beside her.
I refuse and nod no. “I feel much better when I stand here. I can’t just sit there with you. Sorry, Lucy.”
“It’s done but I have to talk to Angelique Carpio.” One of mom's doctors approaches us. He has a pin in his chest, Dr. Wang.
“That’s me.” I raise a hand to get his attention.
“In my clinic, please.” I follow the doctor to his clinic where he offers me a chair to sit on.
Before the doctor could even open his mouth I knew it wouldn’t be good news. Dr. Wang rests his back on his swivel chair and then he rests his arms on the table again.
“Angelique, do you have other family members with you here in Singapore?”
“No, Dr. Wang. It’s just me and my mom, accompanied by two nurses and one driver. Why?” I ask innocently.
“Angelique, I have to be honest. Your mom’s condition isn’t getting any better after her second session. While we have to observe this third session, I need to remind you that your mom has a slim chance of full recovery. Cancer has spread to her body and that is something we can’t control by now.”
I’m trying not to shed a tear, listening to mom’s health condition.
“Angelique we tried our best, with everything that we can offer and with a team of experts in this field. I already told you during the first check-up that your mom is in her final stage of Lung Cancer.”
“Doc, how come that the first chemotherapy mom got her energy back after a few days. I was expecting it would be the same in the following session.”
“That is one thing we don’t have control of, Angelique. As I have told you, cancer has spread to your mom’s body. The reaction will also depend on how well is her immunity. Angelique, you have to talk to your mom and other members of the family.”
“Dr. Wang, how much time does mom have?”
“Based on the previous cases and studies we had probably a few weeks or months. However, that is not an accurate estimate. Your mom could live longer or less than that. Again, Angelique, we did our best to help your mom but it’s too late to save her. What she needs now is your prayer and support as she continues with her battle.”
I almost don’t feel anything in my body until my vision darkens. I woke up with Ms. Lucy on my side.
“Ms. Lucy, what happened?”
“You passed out Angel. Dr. Wang called us. When we arrived here you were already in this bed with a nurse attending you. What did Dr. Wang tell you?”
My tears escape, remembering what Dr. Wang told me.
“Angel, what’s wrong? We are here for you.”
“It’s mom. Dr. Wang told me mom has only a few weeks or months left. He said it was too late to save her. I don’t even know if I’ll have the strength to discuss this with mom. How will I face mom again after hearing the truth from the doctor?"
"Stop crying, Angel. We are here for you." Lucy wraps her arms around me. She comforted me as my mom would. I let all my tears escape while mom is not watching us.
"Ms. Lucy, can we go home with mom now?"
"Sure, I'll check if we can go home. Candace is taking care of your mom in the other room now."
"I'll come with you."
"Are you sure? You don't feel dizzy anymore?"
"I'm feeling well."
I get up from the bed and put on my shoes. We check on my mom who is now in her wheelchair ready to check out.
"Mommy, are ready to go?" I bend over to ask mom.
"Yes, let's go. Where have you been, sweetheart? We've been waiting for you."
I smile at mom like there's no terrible news from the doctor.
"I talk to the doctor, mom. Everything is fixed. We can go now."
When we arrive home, I feel like a psycho for being so paranoid of what could happen in the next few days. I neglect my online class, my thoughts on what the doctor said.
How would I do my online class and talk to my friends after what I heard from the doctors? I closed my laptop, unable to do my short quiz of the day. I feel unmotivated and hopeless.
I stare at my phone, contemplating if I should call my friends or just open the social media to vent and post all my anger to make me feel better.
I check on my social media account, intending to vent all the things I need to get off my chest as I feel life is unfair to me and my mom. Just when everything seems to be fine with me and Maddox, having our babies, Logan and Bruno, and for having mom tour around Singapore. Everything went well, but in just a span of a few weeks things turned out the opposite.
Before I can even post, Cassy's message got my attention.
There's a voice recording she sent me, I open and listen to it.
"Angel, listen carefully. You and I both know that I am the best girl to be with Maddox as we are in the same possession. My family is in better possession than yours. You're an illegitimate child and you are nothing compared to me. Before history repeats itself, like what happened to your mom and dad. Leave Maddox now, don't ruin his life as your mother did to Angelo."
"And besides, Maddox and I are rekindling our relationship so it wouldn't be so hard when you leave him. Especially now that you are in Singapore, we will have more time together. I'm telling you this for your own good."
Instead of posting on social media, I turn off my phone and toss it on my bed. Social media wasn't a good idea, it added to my headache.