It’s December 24, the loneliest Christmas in my life without mom. This is the only yuletide season that I don't like celebrating. I've never felt like having Christmas since mom was in her bad condition.
Dad asked me yesterday if I’d want to have an out-of-town vacation with my friends but I declined. I don’t want to leave the city as it seems like leaving mom. I know dad couldn’t ask me to join them for Christmas since his wife would be against it. So, I told him I'm staying in my condo.
I'm having instant food for breakfast as I am starving already. If mom was here, she'll surely prepare something nutritious for me, she won't settle for instant breakfast.
The doorbell rings while I'm eating my morning oatmeal. I wonder who would want to visit me as early as now, 8 in the morning. Lea is my wild guess. She’s the only one who knows I’m leaving here.
Dominic is smiling widely as I open the door. “Dominic? What’s up? What brought you here? Come on in.”
Dominic handed me a small box in a green Christmas wrapper with a red ribbon on it. “Your dad, ask me to bring this to you.”
I gesture for Dominic to sit on the sofa.
“What’s this?” I ask, taking the small box from him.
“Open it. An early Christmas present since they will be celebrating Christmas in New York, he asked me to give that to you.”
Opening the small box and I find an Audi key inside it. “It’s a key. Is this for the car we are using?”
Dominic nods in response. “It is. I’ll be your driver until you learn how to drive. I live just a few blocks from this building. If you need me, just inform me ahead so that I can prepare the car. The car is in your condo's parking area now.”
“Is this real? Dad gifted me the car Audi A7 Sportback?”
I’m over cloud nine for my dad’s Christmas gift. It’s one of my favorite cars and he got it for me as a present. It surely motivates me to learn how to drive.
Dominic looks so happy for me as well. He is such a good friend. Dad was lucky to find a good employee like him. "Dominic, I need to go to the cemetery later this afternoon."
"Sure. I'll be waiting at the parking area. Text me when you are ready."
"Hmm... Would you like to have breakfast with me? But I can't offer you anything besides morning oatmeal." I say shyly.
Dominic laughed. "I already had my breakfast way too early, Angel. I have to go. See you later this afternoon."
Three in the afternoon on our way to the cemetery, dad is calling me. "Hello, dad? Thanks for your Christmas present." I say happily.
"You're welcome, sweetheart. Anything for you."
"I love the car, I will surely learn to drive the fastest. It's a good motivation."
"I'm happy to know that sweetheart. It was your mom who told me the Audi A7 is one of your favorite car models. So, I thought of buying it for you when you started studying at Harper International School."
"She did?"
"Yes. It was one of our chatting concerning you. I asked your mom about your habits and if there are specific things you're interested in."
"Athena told me she caught you checking car models and you showed her some of your favorites and Audi A7 was one of them."
"Oh my God, I think I remember that. Daddy, I miss mom so much." I say trying not to cry, covering my mouth with a hand.
"I miss her too, sweetheart. We should think that your mom is still with us in her best shape with no suffering at all. She is in peace now."
"That's right, daddy. Thanks for calling me. I have to cut this call, Dominic and I just arrived at the cemetery. We're visiting mom, I'm bringing her flowers for Christmas."
"Alright. Take care, Angel. Daddy loves you."
"I love you too, daddy." I cut the call and carry the red roses I got for mom. I put a bouquet of fresh flowers on the empty vase, lit a candle, and sit on the chair near mom's grave.
Mom's mausoleum is quite big. It was dad who chose it. It is spacious enough for a few people to visit. The interior is in white and black color, with white marble tiles on the floor and a few chairs to sit on.
I sit for a while talking to mom like she is listening in front of me. Everything hasn't sunk into my system yet. I get emotional thinking about good memories with mom. She's the best. The loneliness I'm feeling is comparable to none.
I wipe my tears before I get back to the car.
“Dominic, let’s drop by at the school. I need to check a few things. I’ll see if I can get inside the campus.”
“Sure.”
On our way to the school, my mind keeps replaying my memories with Maddox. I can’t help it. It even makes me sleepless at night. My guilt is eating me. I was a bad girlfriend to Maddox. I shouldn’t have broken up with him for my own selfish reasons.
I start to rescan my phone and look at the photos taken when I used to attend classes in our school. There’s Sam, Luke, and of course, Maddox. How I wish we stay the same. I missed them so much. I know I have a true friend in them but I ruined it.
“Angel, we’re here,” Dominic announces.
I don’t even notice how much time I spend looking at Maddox’s photo that I lost track in our direction. It’s almost half an hour, and I keep staring at his lovely face.
“Thank you, Dominic. Stay here, I’ll ask the security guard if I can come in for a few minutes.”
I’m not even sure what to say to convince the security to let me inside the campus. It’s a holiday break and schools don’t usually allow students to get into the school.
Thank God, the security guard allows me to enter the school on one condition: I'll only be staying for only 10 minutes. I lied, I told him I'll get the shoes I left in my locker.
Dominic waits for me in the parking area as I head to our building and then go to the man-made forest when no one is looking. It’s a breath of fresh air viewing the massive forest. The green leaves are happily dancing to the wind. They seem to be calling me to come and join them. The forest looks calm and peaceful from where I’m standing to adore it.
All the memories with Maddox in the forest are replaying in the back of my head as they happened just earlier. Nothing but pure joy and lovely memories. Maddox’s smile was genuine. I find myself smiling like a fool while thinking about Maddox.
I step close to the forest entrance eyeing to get to the middle of it to have a short and peaceful stay for a few minutes when I spot a familiar guy not so far from me. I cannot be wrong, it’s him. I told myself. What is he doing here?
I am torn between stepping close to him or turning back to where I came from. I should talk to him and apologize. No. There’s an undefeatable battle inside my head. But before I can even make a choice the guy turns back looking straight at me.
My body freezes like a statue. My face suddenly warms especially when he starts walking close to me. He walks at a slow pace until he fastens in front of me without a minute.
"Angel, you're here!"