Ace's POV:
I was writing in my journal after killing the woman to get some things off my mind.
7/15/30
Today I killed a woman. She wasn't like every other ordinary woman but she was a woman nonetheless. She even tried to plot with her husband to kill me, probably for money so that they could attempt to get out of their drug debt more than likely.
But a lot of people don't know that once you're in the Mafia, there's no way out. And the only way out is to be hunted forever. I was born into this lifestyle so I had no choice. I had to grow and adapt to live in this environment and just to survive. I thrive because I feel nothing. Well ..... felt. Past tense .
I was hesitant to kill the woman today. Very hesitant . I didn't show it though , I'm not really good at showing emotion anyways. I think I was hesitant because I keep thinking 'what if it was Sofia' . What if Sofia is in that exact same position. What if she gets kidnapped by a person like me or Haze . We would kill her with no second thought .
So , I hesitated ever so slightly. And it almost killed me . I almost died because I was going to be good for once and spare the wife , to try and change . For my girl . But that didn't work . Maybe if I keep trying , eventually I'll just become naturally good at being kind . I want to become good for her. She's my light and I don't want to infect her with darkness .
I want to grow to become a better man for our future kids . I want to be worthy enough to be the father of her kids . Without her I have no purpose , no home , nothing . Im falling for her and it's scary . It's scary how much control she has over me . I'd do anything for her , even give my own life . It worries me because I don't know if she feels the same .
I desperately want her to . I know the effects I have over her , but that's physical. I want something emotional for once . Someone I can lean on when times get tough and for her to trust me to protect and love her like I want to .
I'm not seeing people as objects anymore and that's thanks to her .
It scares me because if she heard even half of the things I've done , she would think I'm a monster . Especially if she seen me doing it to people . Burning them until their bones turn black . Breaking bones and letting them heal only to break them again .
I'm afraid my past will catch up and destroy us . Everyone in the Mafia business wants me dead. Firstly for killing their men , and secondly because I own the biggest Mafia in the world .
My father made it impossible for me to be kind to anyone . He made me selfish and cruel . But she's undoing what he did . She's taking the bad parts and making them good . Sofia's changing my world . ~ Ace .
I closed my journal and slipped it back under my pillow. I sighed releasing all my built up tension and anger . I can't wait to go home . Hopefully she's not asleep by the time I get home. I still have a few more people to talk to .
I got off my bed with a groan and walked back into the base .
As I was walking down the hall , Dante found me . "Raul Diaz is now the official leader of his Mafia" Dante informed me , reading off of a sheet . Sofia's brother took over their families Mafia . "Atleast that bastard won't be able to hurt her anymore" I spoke angrily just thinking about Sofia's father .
"Ace , we really need to have your mothers funeral" Dante suggested to me , trying to persuade me . "No" I snapped instantly at him . "Her body is in the morgue and it's been there for ages" Dante sighed hinting for me to do something about it.
"Fine , tomorrow" I rolled my eyes. "Tomorrow?" Dante said shocked . "Yeah , it's the only day I have off" I growled angrily because I wanted to spend it with Sofia . "Ok then , tomorrow it is" Dante nodded agreeing with me. "What's tomorrow" Ice asked walking by . "Ace's mom's funeral" Dante uttered writing down things on his notepad while strolling down the hall next to me . "I'll get the word out" Ice gave Dante a thumbs up continuing to walk in the opposite direction . Dante gave him a thumbs up in response .
"Are you allowing your father to come?" Dante asked not even realising what he had just said. I grabbed Dante's throat and squeezed my hand . "Do you think I'd let that fucking murder come to her funeral" I spat at Dante who grabbed my wrist to try and break my grip on his throat . "I didn't think" Dante struggled to say . I gritted my teeth before dropping him .
Dante gasped for breath as soon as I released him . "I'm sorry" he muttered , his hands resting on his knees to hold himself up . I didn't respond because I was angry .
"Sometimes I wonder why I'm friends with you" Dante said imbetween breaths.