I lay on his chest as we talked . The only light in the room was the tv that was facing our bed .
"Teach me some Italian" I chirped , playing with his hand that rested on my waist , pulling me closer to him . "Mm okay" he lay on his other arm . "Cagna is a female dog" . His accent changed when he spoke Italian , it got deeper . "Cagna" I repeated , getting a nod off of Ace . "Sole is the sun" . The words just rolled off tongue like it was effortless. "Sole" i grinned , knowing I pronounced it wrong . "Sad is triste" he rolled his R . I attempted to copy him but he chuckled at me when I failed .
"Okay I'm bad at this" I giggled into his chest. The smile on his face slowly faded as he looked at me . He pressed his lips against mine , grabbing my face . "Ti amo" he muttered , whilst staring at me with a soft look in his eyes . "What does that mean" I questioned , my eyelids becoming heavy all of a sudden . "Nothing you have to worry about" he kissed my forehead as I drifted off asleep while he watched the tv .
I woke up at about 4 am to Ace standing out on the balcony . He had left the door open so it was freezing . He had only his boxers on while his chain hung from around his neck . He was taking in the moonlight , his eyes were closed and his back muscles were tense . I climbed out of bed silently , and approached Ace ,my footsteps making no noise . I hugged him from behind , catching him off guard . I felt his muscles at my touch as he let out a deep breath .
I kissed his shoulder before leaning my head against his back . "Did I wake you?" He asked with a gentle tone . "No" I muttered half asleep basically drooling on him . "Why are you up ?" I grumbled with my eyes shut , taking in his scent . He had a strong ,musky ,masculine smell and I wouldn't change it for the world . "I'm just thinking" he mumbled quietly while staring at the stars . "Thinking about what ?"I murmured falling asleep with my arms around him ; He was like my own personal heater , my cold hands were resting on his warm skin . I don't know how he was still warm standing outside in freezing weather .
I could see the condensation of our breath in the air due to the coldness . "I'm thinking about the Mafia and if they need my help, I mean I know they don't , but I constantly worry about it and if I'm doing a good enough job to keep the recruits in check" Ace rambled as he shook his head defeatedly as if it was bad thing to care about the Mafia . He ran his hand through his hair stressfully from worrying about the Mafia so much . "You care , that more than what my father ever did for our Mafia" I scoffed at him . I can't believe he thinks he's not doing a good job , I think he's a great leader and boss , even though he can be an asshole sometimes .
"Yeah" he sighed , agreeing with me . "You need sleep , come on" I tugged his arm , pulling him back to bed with me . "I'm only going to bed because you're going to be in it" he grinned with a cheeky smile . "I'm okay with that" I smiled softly at him , pulling the blankets across my body . He lay next to me before I snuggled up close to him , one of my legs stretched across his body . I was playing with his hands while he shut his eyes , trying to sleep for me . I think if I wasn't here , he wouldn't sleep . He would probably sit around , maybe scribble in his journal for awhile .
"Your hand is so tough" I chirped with a soft tone, running my finger over the calloused skin on his palm. "Yeah" he let out a deep breath . "It's probably from holding guns" Ace uttered admittedly, sounding exhausted. He may not know it yet but I know he doesn't like to kill people. The way he reacts after killing someone isn't happy it's just.....numb , he just became numb to feeling guilt or remorse for things that did and the people he killed. "Ace , how did you feel when you first killed someone?" My eyebrows frowned curiously as I continued to play with his hand , lying on his chest .
"My first kill" he huffed like he was trying to remember. But the way his body tensed when I mentioned it , told me that he remembered. "Fuck" he sighed , rubbing his forehead stressfully. "It's okay , you don't have to talk about it" my fingers ran along the veins that went up Ace's arm . "No , it's you . I can tell you ; I trust you " he took a deep breath in , he was very tense and seemed slightly thrown off by the memory .
"I was 9 , it was my birthday actually and my father said that he had a surprise for me . I shouldn't of believed him" Ace scoffed shaking his head . "So he took me to our current base that was only newly built at the time and took me to one of the cells ; he had a man handcuffed to a pole in the corner of this dimly lit cell . He told me that killing him was my birthday gift" Ace chuckled probably at how insane it sounds when he says it out loud. "I told him I didn't want my gift so he said that if I didn't kill him , the man would slowly die in the cell anyways and that he would take everything away from me . Everything being my toys to my bed" I watched as Ace close his eyes , trying to remember back to that day .
He doesn't try to repress or forget his memories of the abuse his father put him through . He lives in them , replays them almost . He's not afraid of them , he faces them head on . He was really stubborn but strong and I think that's what I admire most about him . He's fearless ; He's brave .
"Even after my fathers threat , I still refused to kill him" . "Then because I refused , my father left me in the same cell . He came back and punched me repeatedly until I agreed to kill the man" He bit his lip while his eyes were shut . "The man and I had conversation while my father was gone . The man had told me that it was okay if I killed him because he liked me and thought I was a good kid. He told me as long as I gave him a quick death , he wouldn't mind" Ace chuckled at his 9 year old self for believing any better . "The gun was in my hands , but my father had to pull the trigger and then , he was dead" Ace shrugged , reaching over to the cigarettes on the bedside table and lit one , savouring the smoke .
I felt my heart sink slowly for him .