I chewed my lips tightly while staring at my reflection.
Now, i'm already having a doubt whether i'll continue this.
Yesterday, without thinking properly. Hopeless. Thinking that it would a nice memory with even though this means i'll betray Blaire with it. I agreed with what had Light said. That's why today, he said to meet him on a well-known Motel.
But right now, i'm kind of regretting it. I felt like, I'm just the same with the other girls on the bar. I felt like they're even more decent than me because mostly the girls on the bar were just working there because they don't have any choice but me, i have a lot of choices but still prefer to agree with this kind of set-up.
I sat down on my bed while holding tightly my head. Frustrated with what I did.
Right now, i'm wearing a black above-the-knee off-shoulder dress. With a matching red underwears inside. And a high red heels.
But looking at myself again and thinking what will happen later me felt so disgusted with my self.
"Should i continue this?" I whispered while the side of my eyes are starting to heat.
Not entertaining the feeling of crying, i looked at my phone to look at the time. It's nine o'clock in the morning. Light said we'll be meeting up by eight, so maybe he already forgot about it?
A bunch of hope rose inside me.
That's right.
I will never do it.
I'll just find someone for Blaire, even if i don't know how to do it. Let me just let go of that shitty deal.
I'm celebrating with that thought when a call from my phone disturbed me.
I got up immediately and my spines shivers a lot upon seeing who's the caller.
With a sweaty and shaky hand, i swiped up to answer the call.
"H-hello?" i nervously asked.
["Where are you?"] Light asked from the other line.
I swallowed.
"Why?" I asked still hoping that he forgot about it and called for another reason.
["I'm on a Motel already, for more that one fucking hour."] He coldly stated.
My shoulder fell down.
He remembered about it.
Fudge! What should i do?!
I fisted my hand. "Light, i'm backing out."
["Hell no! You waste my time for this?"] He asked still cold.
I slightly closed my eyes.
["I'm coming to your boarding house–"]
"No!" I screamed and even stood up.
"No. No." I faced back and forth thinking what's the best thing to do. "I-i'll come. I'm coming," I stated then immediately hang up the phone.
As i turned off my phone, i didn't stopped my tears to come out anymore. My chest is already too tight and i can't hold it anymore.
I slowly sit down on the floor while covering my face with my hands. Thinking that later i'll looked like a slut.
This is for Blaire after all, right? Just for once.
I weakly stood up with a wobbly knees while wiping my face then fixed my crumpled dress after. Then wiped my face.
I exhaled and inhaled to prepare my self a lot of times before going out of my room. I'm out of my mind while waiting for a cab and even while riding it. Thankfully, I get back to my senses when i'm almost on the place.
I payed for my fare before looking at the building. It was so tall, made with fine bricks and glasses with the name right at the top of the main door. I started walking while dialing Light, thankfully he immediately answered.
"Where are you?" I asked as i entered the main door.
["Fifth Floor. Room 405. Left Wing,"] he stated.
My eyebrow raised. He sound like a frontliner.
"Alright, i'm coming." I answered then hang up.
I consciously walk towards the elevator, thankfully no one entered. So i immediately pressed the button for the fifth floor.
It didn't took long, so when the elevator opened. I directly followed what Light had said. I moved my body towards the left wing then find for a room who has number 405.
"Four-Hundred..." I read the number of the first room i encountered.
"So, Light's room must be near here," I concluded proceeding the sixth door and look at the number. I'm right, I'm finally infront of his room.
With that, my heart starting to beat fastly again. But i still manage to hold the doorknob and slowly moved it to enter.
I was in awe as i finally entered inside, i locked the door while scanning the whole room. It was so gorgeous. They vibes so good and pleasant. From it's interior design to it's appliances inside, i already knew that in my whole life I can't afford this kind of room.
Enough for appreciating everything inside, i scanned the whole place again to look where Light is. But he's nowhere to be found here.
"Light?" I called and started to open the door i could see.
The first door i opened was the bedroom, then the C.R and the kitchen, and there i saw Light. "Hey! You're drinking again?" I approached him but he just looked at me lazily.
"Yeah. I'm used to this since you didn't come to my life," he said that made me stop.
Right. I just knew him for a short span of time, i only knew few about him.
We fell in silence for a few minutes, until i broke it.
"Light..." I spoke because he keeps on staring from a far while holding a glass full of alcohol.
"Who's Blaire to your life?" he asked that made me stilled a bit.
My heart pounded hardly while answering him.
"My best friend, the only one who's caring for me. I had a lot of things that i owe to her, so i need to do every single favor she'll ask. Just to at least pay her for the things she had done to me,"
I saw him nodded his head. "So you'll dump me just for her favor?"
I stopped and swallowed hardly.
No? Yes? I don't know. Is this dumping him?
It took me so long too answer, the reason why he asked again. "Am i that hard to love?" that made me more stopped and hard to think what to answer.
I badly wanted to say that he's easy to love. In fact, i already loved him but no, I'll never do that it'll just ruin my plan.
I exhaled deeply to at least lessen the heaviness of my heart I'm feeling. "You know. It's my first time to be jealous. And worst, to a girl. I'm toxic as fuck, i know." He slightly chuckled.
And i was never given a chance to answer him.
He leaned back to his chair and put down his glass. "Alright i get it now." He nodded then stood up.
He slowly walk towards me that made me stilled hardly. When he finally get near me, he slowly crouched to level our height.
His eyes flew to my stomach that made me swallowed a lot.
He chuckled. "Fool."
He looked back to me and stared me. I battled his stares for after a minute but i just can't take the heaviness of his stares the reason why i immediately looked away.
His face leaned to mine. The reasons why i can now feel his hot breath. I bravely looked back to him and can't help but to make the first move. I slowly leaned to his face also and crashed our lips together.
Besides, this is what I came for here right? And besides i really want this.
I felt he was stunned because of that move but minutes later i fell he slightly smirked before deepening our kisses.
It was hot and long kiss. It was my first time but i don't know why i felt like i already mastered doing it.
Light slowly guide me to the bed that made me want him more. My hunger for him lit up like a fire.
That's why not so long. For the second time, I'm already under him. Going with the rhythm of our joint body. And feeling all the pleasure i could feel, because i know this will never happen again. Not even in my second life.
––
"It's a matchmaker thing to set the pair right? Then set up us tomorrow, i'll be waiting for your text." Light stated and wave his phone.
We just finished feeding our lust but he seemed to be excited with his date tomorrow.
I'm sitting while my naked and sated body's under the thick comforter while starring at him busily putting his buckle on. "You're already going?" i can't help but to ask.
He stopped and looked at me. "Yeah? Is there any reason to stay?"
I chewed my lips. How about me?
"Oh. Right." I tried to smile.
He finished putting his polo on before looking at me. "I payed for an overnight here. You can use it if you want." He stated before fully face his back to me and finally going out.
Completely leaving me behind.
I heavily sighed and stared at my hand then my whole body.
And that's how everything ended. Finally, things are going to be back to its proper places.
But—I'm not happy with it.