"If you want to keep a secret, you must also hide it from yourself." -George Orwell 
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Haru slowly opened her eyes and looked around. All she could see was pure white. She looked at the one holding her hand and she was surprised when she saw Nicole and she was even more surprised when she saw Jasper lying on a sofa. Haru quietly burst into tears because she tried to hide her illness for a few days but Nicole could still see her here.
She carefully removed Nicole's hand, and she also removed the ones attached to her dextrose while silently crying.
I shouldn't be here anymore. I'm not ready to see this Nicole in my condition now. This was Haru's repeated saying to herself.
She was faintly getting down from the hospital bed, but she was still not able to go to the door when she suddenly fell, which caused Nicole and Jasper to wake up.
"Haru!" Both Nicole and Jasper shout and they run to Haru.
"You're still weak, Haru. Why you removed the ones attached to you?" Nicole asked and they helped Haru stand up, but Haru took back her hands.
"I can! I can! Where's Doc Ramirez? I need to talk to him! Let me go! What the heck?" Haru cried out and her tears kept dripping. She no longer knew what she was going to do. she didn't know, especially now that Nicole already knew what she was hiding.
"Haru! Haru! Everything will be fine, okay? Don't worry, we're here for you. We won't let you alone." Nicole cried too. They heard the door open and it was Doc Ramirez who entered the room. Haru immediately ran to him, 
"Haru!" Doc Ramirez shouting, because  Haru fell on the floor. He helped Haru stand up and carried her to the hospital bed. Haru's tears kept flowing that couldn't stop.
"Why did you remove the ones attached to you? You're not okay yet, Haru."
"Doc. How many days, weeks, months, and years do I have to stay here?" She asked while her eyes were on the window.
Silence prevailed over them. They didn't hear any noise, because they were silenced by Haru's question. Her tears flowed again and again and never stopped pouring.
"H-Haru, the truth is-"
"Doc. There's really no other way?" Haru interrupted what the doctor was going to say, and she asked a question of the doctor.
"Chemotherapy is the only way Haru. And you have to go to the biggest hospital because they will help you more." She wiped away the tears and she faced Doc Ramirez.
"Why isn't?! You're a doctor, right? The doctor is supposed to cure diseases?! Why can't you say that I will be cured of this stomach cancer? Why are all of the doctors saying my illness is nothing to cure?" She shouted loudly here. Nicole hugged Haru so tightly that she kept Haru do not disappear.
"I'll pay you a million! Just heal me! I'll pay you even if I spend a million, doc! I'm begging you."
"Haru, please stop Haru." Haru removed Nicole's hand, hugging her, and she approached Doc Ramirez and knelt in front of him. 
"You are a doctor, right? It's your duty to cure this serious illness! But why are you doing this? I'm begging you! Heal me. I'm begging you to find a way to help me. Is anyone suffering from cancer but they survived, right? It will happen to me too, right? Can I survive, doc?" The doctor looked up and averted his eyes from Haru, who was obviously holding back her tears. Nicole approached Haru and hugged her tightly while she was still crying because she saw Haru's suffering now. 
"I'll fix your paper to transfer you to the big hospital." The doctor said and left the room. Jasper and Nicole help Haru to sit on the bed.
"I hope, you don't tell anyone about this, to mom, to Carmen, and especially to Arche," Haru told them while she wiped her tears.
How many tears had she shed? Her eyes would hurt because she was tired of crying.
"Jasper, Nicole. Don't tell anyone about this." She said it again but she never heard a word from them.
"I'm begging you, Nicole, Jasper, don't tell this to Arche." Nicole and Jasper looked at each other because of Haru's request. Nicole tearfully approached Haru, and she held Haru's hands. 
"Haru, he has the right to know your situation." Haru shook her head. 
"I'll tell him about this when I talk Doctor Ramirez again so please Jasper, Nicole, don't tell him about my illness." 
"No! we'll tell Arche about th-."  
Nicole's words were cut off by her boyfriend when Jasper spoke, which surprised them both. 
"No, let's respect what she's saying, Nicole. We have nothing to say about her illness to them, especially to Arche. "  
Haru breathes deeply and she thanks to Jasper. She knew she was very selfish, but this was the only way she could think of so she wouldn't hurt the man she loved. 
 
Lord, I know I have come to the point that I ignored you, but this is me now, approaching you because I am praying to still be with the man I love for a long time. I beg you to help me to fight this cancer that I have. 
She said in her mind and again she felt the tears streaming down her face. Jasper watched Haru and Nicole quietly and after that, he avoided looking at them.
"Why was it given to me? Can't I live a long time? Can't I be happy? Maybe it's my destiny to die in this world. I'm a really unlucky person." 
"Don't say that Haru, you're not unlucky. You're a very lucky person because many people around you, loving you so much. No matter what happens, I won't leave you." Nicole said and tightened her hug on Haru.
"Leave me alone first, I want to be alone," Haru said. Nicole and Jasper left the room.
Suddenly, Haru looked at her phone, ringing. She picked it up and took a deep breath before answering the call.
[Hello, my Haru! Why didn't you tell me you were going home to the province? I hope I'm with you.]
Haru bit her lip because she heard Arche's voice.
"A-arche Hmmm I'll call you later, mom Emma was calling me now." She tried not to stutter so that Arche would not notice that she's lying.
[How long you stay there? When are you coming back here?] Arche's cheerful question on the other line. 
"M-Maybe I'll be here for a week. Bye, My Moon, I must depart; I have work to complete. Mom is calling me." She's lied here again.
[My moon?]
Haru smiled sparingly and spoke.
"I read that Arche means moon. You are the one who gave light to my dark life. So you are my moon," she explained here.
[Hmmm... I can't say anything haha, go ahead, be careful there. I love you.]
Those laughs of Arche's are what Haru wants to hear for the rest of her life.
"I-i love you too, Arche." She said goodbye here when the call ended. It was here that the tears that she was holding back while talking to Arche had been shed earlier. 
She was thinking now about the people she would leave behind who would be too painful for her.
I hope it wasn't given to me this disease. I want to be with my loved one for a long time, but I can't because I know that I'm disappearing on this earth.
She said to herself again. She lay down on the bed and quietly until she felt the closing of her eyes.