Jeff felt dizzy and his body quaked like a leaf under the wind. He shook his head and tried to shake off the dizziness before feeling his knees buckling over. He slumped into the chair. Did God speak to him? Did He warn him not to do her any harm or was it his imagination playing games with him? He scratched his head as the voice kept echoing through his subconsciousness. From the corners of his eyes, he caught Maya agonizing and writhing in guilt and shame. He felt sorry for her.  “It’s okay, Maya. I’m sorry.” “No, it’s not okay and you’re not sorry,” she sniffed. “You are a cheat and a liar. I won’t trust you again.” He reached for her. “I am sorry, please. Can’t you understand?” She pulled away from him. “Don’t touch me,” she cried. “Just get your hands off me. You won’t keep your promises.” He stamped his foot hard on the floor. “But you’re not encouraging me. We’re both to blame for what happened, you know?” “Are you… are you… saying… it was my fault?” “I’m not saying anything,” he snapped. “All I’m saying is that it’s the right of the boy to propose or to ask a girl for… for, you know …?” he could not find the right words, “and the right of the girl to accept or reject a proposal. You can’t always stop advances from men, but… but you can always control your response.” She regarded him as she considered what he said, tears blurring her view. He was right, she thought. “I see,” was all she could say. She hadto be more careful next time. “That’s the truth. It may be partial or cruel but you must play by the rules if you wish to succeed.” “I hope you are not trying to rationalize your actions?” He shook his head. “Oh, my God! No. What I’m saying is that sex is sheer human nature and a natural expression of human desires. It’s okay as long as it is mutual, consensual and pro… protected. We are only humans with certain needs, you know?” She gave him a defiant stare. “Are you justifying fornication?” “Look, you don’t have to use such words. It is called lovemaking. It is fun if you know what I mean. You need to take it easy. I mean, everybody is doing it, so?” His confidence was coming back. “I’m not everybody. I’m different. God made me know abstinence is possible and I’ll prove it.” “See, you have gotten it wrong. Sex is part of being in love, of growing up and… and being part of the crowd. But the fad today is making sure it‘s protected and consensual.” She sat up, her eyes hard as marble. “It’s a lie. Sex is not for everybody. It’s for married couples only and I thought someone in your position should know that.” He smirked. “What you call pre-marital and extramarital affairs are euphemisms for fornication and adultery and it holds no water for me because it goes against God’s moral standards.” “Why don’t you keep God out of this for a minute?” “I can’t because we can’t do without Him. Don’t forget He is the landlord, and we live in His world. To be successful, we must know His mind in everything we do.” Go ahead then,” he grunted. “What makes you think protection from STDs and unwanted pregnancies or the fact that it’s mutual and consensual make fornication/adultery licit before God?”  He squinted. “Listen Jeff, sex can either be licit or illicit, not protected or unprotected. And as for fornication and adultery being natural expressions of a natural want, that’s a big lie because all great world religions condemn fornication and adultery. The Holy Scriptures, too, is not an exception. So where did you get that crap about being a natural expression from?” she paused. “Sex is for married couples, not for singles and the unmarried. God created sex for procreation, that’s the beauty of marriage and what makes it special.” He began to pace the room, his hand in his pocket. He knew she was right but couldn’t bring himself to concede that point. A popular condom advert that encourages young people to ‘do it’ with a condom flashed across his mind and his ‘third leg’ stirred, he pulled himself together with an effort. “But… but why do our governments and most civil societies condone advertisements that encourage promiscuity?” She hesitated. “I thought anyone in your position would know that?” “Well, I don’t.” “We live in a free and pluralistic world, don’t forget that. Besides, it’s business for people who make a living from it,” she paused, took a look at her watch, and stood up. "I have to be on my way.” “Wait. I don’t understand. What do you mean by business for some people?” “The abortion industry has every reason to promote promiscuity because people make money in spreading the culture of death.” His face creased into a frown. “How?” “Those in the industry make millions of dollars from abortion and in the harvest and sale of baby parts and other products such as condoms, contraceptives, pills and antiretroviral drugs, hence the push for legal abortion.” He regarded her silently. “I think you have a point." She stood to her feet. “I should be on my way.” He scratched his hairand shot her an odd look. She began to shiver. “Maya.” “Yes.” “Listen. I intend to make our wedding day a perfect one. So, stop tempting me.” Again, she caught a hint of the catch in his voice, that special inflection in his voice that comes whenever he speaks from the heart. She knew he meant it. “I’m sorry if… if I… I led you on a moment ago. I did not intend to…” He gave her haira gentle stroke.“There’s no need to be,” he said. “You’re still what you are, okay?” She blinked, her eyes darting this way and that as she tried to avoid meeting his prying eyes, afraid of what she might find there. She feared the passion that burned so fierce and deep. He was in love with her; there was no doubt about it. “You know what?” “What?” “You’re like a natural laboratory where one can learn about the puzzles of life.” “A natural laboratory?” she raised her brow. “What does that mean?” “Oh, nothing.” She walked over to the door. “Open the door.” He hedged.  “Why do you want to leave? Stay a little more, please.” She sucked in air and tried to keep her anger in check. “Are you going bonkers? Look, I promised to stay for only 10 minutes, but look. I have missed fellowship, and my hair I did not do. Now you want me to go home late, do you want to get me into trouble with my parents?” “How would they know?” “They may not know,” she snapped. “But I don’t want to lie.” “I don’t know why time flies whenever I’m with you.” She gave him a hard look. “Jeff, is this how we’d live together as husband and wife?” She had lost her temper and was no longer interested in hiding her chagrin. “You won’t keep your words, let me go to church or attend fellowships. Little wonder the Bible says can two walk together except they agree?” He clenched and unclenched his fist. “And don’t we agree?” “I don’t know. I think you should ask yourself that. Don’t make me regret meeting you or coming here today.” She wondered if they were compatible and if these arguments and quarrels were telltale signs of love.
***
She arrived home a few minutes before 8 pm. Her father was in the sitting room; one look at his distraught face told her something was wrong. “Good evening, daddy. “Come here, Maya,” he commanded. “I want to talk to you.” She crossed the sitting room and sat down on the couch. “Helen, please come and join us,” he said to his wife. Turning to her elder sister, he said. “May, please, reduce the volume of the TV?” he turned to Mayaagain. “Maya, what’s it by your time?” “Six minutes before… before eight, Daddy.” “And what time were you supposed to be back?” “7 o’clock.” “Why are you coming back now?” She sat still, arms folded, suffering, regretting. “Maya.” “Yes, Daddy.” “You’ll tell me the truth, won’t you?” She nodded. “Did you go to fellowship?” She shook her head. “Why? What happened?” She hesitated. “Did you do your hair?” She shook her head. “Why?” She bit her nails. “I… I was… I was…” “Go on. I am listening.” “I… I… was with Jeff,” she blurted out. “Jeff?” he raised his brow. His reaction was calm, contrary to the storm she’d expected. She nodded. "How long have you been going out with him?” She hesitated. “Did you hear me? How long have you been seeing him?” She bit her lips. “Two years.” “Two years!” her mother cried, jumping to her feet and going for her neck. She felt like snuffing the life out of her, but her dad’s look stopped her. She stood shaking and shivering like a flag in the wind before Maya asshe unwrapped and retiedher wrapper. Maya opened her mouthbut could notutter a word. Her father squinted and rubbed his hand across his eyes. She bent her head in shame, suffering, regretting, and blaming herself. She wished she hadnot let them down. Maya,” he called after an awkward, agonizing silence.  “Yes, Daddy.” “Look at me.” She couldn’t look at him. She feared meeting cold, brutal eyes full of hate and fury. “I say look at me.” The softness and pain in his voice were unmistakable and she raised her head and stole a furtive look. What she saw baffled her. There were tears in his eyes, but they were tears of love, not hate. There and then, she realized how much he loved her. For where there should have been contempt, there was mercy. Where there should have been coldness, there was pity. Tears held the words he could not utter. Overwhelmed by emotion, she began to sob. “Maya.” “Yes, Daddy.” “You’ll be careful, won’t you?” She nodded. “I will Daddy. I promise, I will.” That night, just before she went to bed, she asked God for forgiveness and vowed never to see Jeff again.