We are already inside the gym. Students flocked inside and it is making my mood even worst. I cannot breathe. And it is too hot in here. Not enough fans to cover up the temperature that is rising. I was struggling with the heat-not until my hair went all over the place when Jordan fanned me using a white folder aggressively. Not in a hostile way- he just exerts much effort in doing the fanning.
“Are you for real?” I shouted.
He just laughed at me- his fanning pace slowed down.
“You’re hot.” He said with a glint of whatever emotion in his eyes. I am not sure how it should be labeled. And I don’t want to bother myself about it even more.
“I know.” I confidently expressed
my response. With holding my chin up acting like I am the Queen of Egypt. Feeling that I am Cleopatra during my past life and I am reincarnated again here on earth with the same slave who fanned me with a cyprus leaf back during the Egyptian era.
Wait-maybe I was Cleopatra. I mentally slapped myself from the thought. How absurd.
“You are feeling hot because of the heated temperature. Just for clarifiers.” Jordan said while smirking.
“You can stop now.” I answered. He could have done the job for himself- to wave the thing he is holding to ventilate him.
He smiled and went beside me closer and fanned the two of us with a folder.
“I am hot too. Might as well share the coolness you are receiving from my service.”
“I didn’t tell you to do it, Jordan. You could’ve just fan yourself with that instead of wasting your force on me.”
He did not give me an answer. I looked at him and he widened his smile. I shrugged my head twice before looking on stage. He is there with his bandmates, getting their equipment and instrument ready.
So, they will give me- I mean the school a performance? And now it is my turn to smirk at the thought I just think of. I wonder what kind of performance he will give for us. Will it be worth it? Let’s see…
Boisterous sound of the instruments began and the students began to shout. The guy began to sing on the microphone as he strummed his black guitar. They started to do the drill of getting ready for their performance.
His voice sounded raspy but it compliments the song well. He flashed a smile with his teeth. He looked good even with the resting expression on his face. Even without trying to show any emotionsjust like a while ago he manages to look appealing.
I have the clear view of his face right now- as he scanned his eyes around. His eyes met mine. I do not know if I am just having my phantasm. But- he looked way more handsome right now. His straight hair that is mid-length looks good. I am using the word good too much when I am not even fond of using it. I like to commit myself in using the word “bad” rather than the word I am using as an adjective for a guy I just met.
I was busy thinking about my own thought, totally detaching myself. When he looked our way- I thought his head is at me. My eyes widened in astonishment. I forgot how to deal with my brain. It is misbehaving. It is making me assume again. My body literally froze, and I am standing like a statue. He smiled as he continued singing. A gleam of jolliness on his eyes. And I like it.
“What is his name?” I asked Hachiko.
“Leviticus. Most of the people who knew him calls him “Levi”.
“Leviticus.” I muttered under my breath as I keep holding the eye-contact we’ve been making until now.
[After the performance]
“I’ll add him. Gosh, he is just my type.”
“I feel you girl. What’s his socials?”
“Here.”
“I want to know too.”
“C’mon don’t leave me behind. Share the blessing.”
I listened to them as they giggled. Levi made them feel entice too. And I am not the only one who saw his amazing potential.
“How about you, Nai? You don’t want to add him?” Linda asked. She showed me her phone with Leviticus’ social media account on the screen.
“I’ll add him.” I responded carefully.
She smiled at me before going back to her seat resuming their girl talk.
I will add him later. After school…
[Later that evening]
After doing my evening self-care routine I opened my account and scrolled down to look if there is something interesting.
“Shall I send him a request?” I said to myself. I shake my head. I contemplate for a few minutes.
“Should I do it, Merrie?” I asked my house plant beside me.
I type his name on the search engine. And hit the button. That’s it. It is up to him if he will accept it or not. I will just let it sit on his request for a day if he’ll do nothing about it then I will unsent my request.
A “ding” was heard. He accepted my request. I smiled to myself. Wish was granted…
Saw Levi in many festivities. Aside from having the talent for music, he too is a photographer. I walk through the left side of the road and he was standing on the other side smiling while his eyes are on me. I didn’t give that much reaction because I felt shy. Met him a few times and he is still is comely. I was a little bit frustrated with the day way act during our random and unexpected meetings.
But-I understand it now. Everything was clear from the very first meeting.
How could I miss the cue? My resistance to fully get acquainted with him.Because Levi is and will be just one of the boys that I used to hold an adoration before. The reason why I cannot move forward with my romantic affiliations is that it is not him. I knew the answer from the very start.
I always knew I am meant to be with someone who is the right one for someone like me. The one who deserves to be love- the one who deserves to see his feelings being reciprocated back at him.
My unwillingness to acknowledge what I felt for him- and instead force myself to move towards different directions only to meet him in every path that I took- made me hate myself. By doing this I brought myself into the pitfalls of the vacillating hurt from the romantic interests that I pursued- facing disappointments.
If only I realize the truth of my situation- if only I chose him earlier. I could have avoided hurting my own self. I not only hurt myself more in the process of all my urges- I succeeded in wounding his heart too. I somehow hurt the person that loves me for who I truly am.
All of the boys I used to like before will never be like him. Him. He loved me despite the ups and downs- is enough to say that he definitely is my affinity romance….