“I would like you to meetRussel.”
I eyed the guy up and down. He looked at me too. I didn’t back down from gazing at him. Quitters are losers. And I am not a loser- I would not back down. Withdrawal is not the option today, tomorrow, and for the months and years to come.
This guy is a friend of a friend. A not-so-distant friend- but not so close either. I don’t want to portend, but I can sense something. A nuance from how real guys- are the real masculine. While him, the guy in front of me is acting all sensual- it is pleasant in some way but at the same time a little bit odd.
I don’t want to judge him too much- my thought of formulating more judgements ended. I met him today. Probably will not going to meet him tomorrow-I don’t know.
Nothing is too sure in this world. Having certainty is not a constant ideal mannerism one should uphold. One should be okay with being uncertain- to dive into the unknown.
Just like this one. Vague and handsome. I mean-I cannot deny what I am seeing. This guy is gorgeous. Hair is sleek, jawline sharp, lips looked kissable. It is thin, but red. Reddish and plump, it’s moist. I like it- not dry.
The more I observe his lips- I notice something distinct. Did he apply a lip balm? Is it a lip gloss? That made my eyebrow raised- the other one is way higher than the other.
My own lip twitched- okay. Maybe- just maybe. This is not that bad- because guys can wear any lip products to keep their lips moisturize. There is nothing wrong with that.
“Ahh- Shinai. I mean- this beautiful lady her is my friend, Shinai. Shinai this is Russel, Russel this is one of my friends in grade school Shinai.”
The guy nodded his head as his form of acknowledging my presence- my vitality. Kidding.
“Hi.” I chirped with full enthusiasm wanting to make a nice impression. I want him to look at me in a bright light. So- we can create a rapport and become friends. I want to add another being into my friend circle. It is been years since I add one.
He nodded his head again. Gave Roone a look before averting his gaze and looked the other side of the room where no one is even around in that spot. Strange. I can sense the strangeness- the way they exchange gazes. It feels like I am the one who is alienated from their world. Like, they share the same world and I am just like someone from the other side of the galaxy- the insignificant alien that wasn’t supposed to have their attention because they are busy. Busy minding each other’s existence.
“It’s still not finished yet?” Someone from behind interlude the gazing game. I tsked, feeling fussed.
Jordan again.Interrupting the moment. Not my moment- but the moment of these two guys in front of me. I want to see more of their moments.
Gosh- I want to applaud Jordan for ruining this. I want to wrangle him until his soft- black hair ruffles and looked unruly. No way. That is not going to happen. Because Jordan’s hair is soft and straight that even though it gets disheveled, it still looked neat.Suiting to his facial symmetry. “Shinai, snap out of this. This is not about Jordan. Erase, eradicate him. This is supposed to be about Russel.”
“Nothing. We are just talking.” Roone laughed. I want to say that; “There’s no point in lying, Roone.
The tension is too obvious. I want to utter these words after I hear his reply. But-during moments like this it is better to shut your mouth. And see where the situation is going.
“Okay.” Jordan eyed me, wrap his arms around my shoulders. Too close. I can feel his breath on my skin. It’s hot. I shake the thought out of my mind. I am feeling something. His hot breath- feeding the stimulation. “No, no. No. Stop thinking- stop thinking about what Jordan’s breath make you feel.”
“I got to go somewhere- are you sure you’ll stay here with them?” He whispered on my left ear. I can feel him smirking while saying it.
I stiffened- my body stiffened. I can feel my throat run dry. Disabling me from saying anything. The only thing I can manage to do is to nod. So many nodding of heads this day. From Roone, who nodded his head while Russel and I were having our eye contact, from Russel who nods for a few times because this is the only thing he knows to show as a response, and down on me. Nodding my head- because I am lost for words.
“Okay. Text me when you want to go home.” He kissed my cheek. His lip went into the side of my lip. It brushed its end. The contact lingered for a brief moment before he tucked the strands of my hair behind my ear.
“I’ll see you later.” He added, before heading out.
“We’re having a night out in Merlie’s Settee. Are you up for a retreat, Shinai? Russel and I will be there. Luvia and Summer will join us too. You can take Jordan with you.”
“Just the six of us?” I questioned
in skepticism.
What is this? A pairing activity? Where each of the girls will have their own guy to accompany them throughout the night? A play where one is needing to pick his or her partner through the hold of selection? Unfair. It works best if you choose your partner intentionally. I want to have Russel as my pair for the night. To test something.
“Yes. Why do you want to add more people? If you have someone in mind, you can invite them Nai. Shinai.” He waved his hand in front of my face.
I stared into abyss thinking about a more concrete plan. I became busy planning about the next thing I need to do that I become unaware of the words that came out of my mouth. “Russel will be my partner. He will stay with me during the retreat.”