Destiny
Somewhere in time and space, in an undefined place...
People are so fragile, they literally don't know what surrounds them, they are always looking for their longed-for soul mate, but without my help they, mere mortals, would never find it.
I'm not here to belittle them, but to tell the story of a group of people living in the country of Bestemming, named after me. I'm now following the life of Alan Martins, a teacher who lives in an abusive marriage, but doesn't realize it until the anniversary of his marriage.
Let's stop beating about the bush and tell this story straight.
In Bestemming...
Alan is walking towards the exit of the school where he works as a teacher. Today is a special day for him, a day so significant that he decided not to go to graduate school, but planned to prepare a romantic dinner for his husband. She wasn't sure if Cauã would like the surprise, even though it was a special day for them, their famous wedding anniversary.
It had been four years of marriage, and for Alan those years had flown by, even with all the comings and goings that fate had thrown in their path. When they celebrated their one-year wedding anniversary, exactly two days after the celebration Cauã left saying that he could find something better than Alan, which left him with a broken heart, but what surprised Alan was that it was very sudden, he just woke up one day saying that he didn't want him anymore and left.
Alan spent a week trying to accept that his marriage was over without any plausible explanation, but it really hit him when his friend went to visit him to see how he was doing with everything that was happening and ended up opening his eyes to the fact that his marriage was probably over.
Weeks later her then ex-husband came back saying that he regretted leaving him and that he would never leave him again, and as he still believed everything Cauã said, he believed it, so he gave him another chance, and as if it were fate, the same situation repeated itself over the next two years, and as a fool Alan believed him every time, at least in the last year Cauã didn't go crazy and leave him for no reason.
However, he still believed in their love for each other, that their love could overcome any barrier that fate might impose. But everything was hanging by a thread; if Cauã broke up with him one more time, he felt that he would no longer be able to forgive him for everything. Deep down Alan knew that their love no longer existed. All he could do was stay in the relationship for comfort. As soon as he passed through the school gate, he saw the friendly doorman.
- See you tomorrow Alfredo - Alan said as soon as he passed the gentleman standing by the gate.
- See you Alan - he replied.
Alan turns on the car radio, tuning in to a station that only plays international music. A song starts playing that sums up what Alan is feeling at the moment.
It's a beautiful life
É uma vida bonita
Nan neoui gyeote isseulge
Eu estarei ao seu lado
It's a beautiful life
É uma vida bonita
Neoui dwie seo isseulge
Eu estarei de pé atrás de você
Beautiful love
Bonito amor
Haneurarae neowa issdamyeon
Se você está embaixo do mesmo céu que eu
Sumswineun geosmaneurodo joha
Só respirar me faz feliz
It's a beautiful life
É uma vida bonita
Beautiful day
Dia bonito
Neoui gieogeseo naega saltende
Viverei em suas memórias
Beautiful life, beautiful day
Bonita vida, Bonito dia
Nae gyeoteseo meomulleojwo
Fique ao meu lado
Beautiful my love
Bonita, meu amor
Beautiful your heart
Bonito é o seu coração
Beautiful - Crush
The song stirred Alan's feelings and ended up engraved in his memory. He hummed the verses of the song for the rest of the way, realizing that it would be a long time before he forgot the melody. What until then had been a simple song for the young teacher reminded him that he had never considered his life to be beautiful and that he had never really had anyone who reminded him of happiness, he had Cauã, that was a fact, but he never felt that he really loved him. His eyes, until then focused on the chaotic traffic in the capital of Bestemming, filled with tears. He was so lost in his daydreams that he didn't even realize that the road home had come to an end.
Already dressed and showered, he went to the kitchen to see what he could prepare for the special dinner he wanted to make to celebrate their four-year wedding anniversary. Although his doubts about his love for his husband no longer existed, he decided to ignore them and remain in the comfort of his life.
Alan began to prepare his specialty in the kitchen, lasagna Bolognese. One thing that always made him smile was cooking, which he had always loved to do.
His phone starts ringing, snapping him out of his bubble of joy. He looks over the kitchen worktop and doesn't find it, he's sure he's left it somewhere in the house.
- Hello," he says as soon as he picks up.
- Wow, is that any way to answer me, Al? - Jo Ann said pretending to be annoyed.
- You know very well that I have a habit of answering without seeing who it is - Alan says pretending to be hurt - But tell me, to what do I owe the honor of your magnificent majesty's call?
Jo bursts into laughter on the other end at the way he called her, which infects him too, making them both burst into laughter.
- I'm going to put it on speakerphone, otherwise the dignitary won't let me finish dinner," Alan says.
Without waiting for Jo Ann to say something contrary, he puts the call on speaker and turns his attention to the bolognese sauce he was preparing. He had met her when he was studying Pedagogy at Ange-linny Fonturna College. Jo Ann, with her somewhat clueless personality and a handful of loose screws, had been certain as soon as she had seen Alan, that shy and straightforward being, that she should get close to him, corrupt him.
When Alan saw that the girl who in his mind was the "course freak" was trying to get close to him, he panicked. For months he had been repelling Jo Ann's approach, but at some point that he couldn't remember, he had finally let the "course freak" get close, which he didn't regret, because then he could see that Jo Ann was using the "crazy course" shell to scare people away and cover up her true personality, she is actually a wonderful person who has always been misunderstood for the way she is.
Alan wakes up from his trip to the past to the smell of burning in the kitchen.
- Holy shit! - Alan shouts in frustration.
- You're deafening me, you lunatic - Jo Ann complains on the other end of the line - What is it, Al? What happened?
- I burnt the sauce I was making. Shit! Shit! I'll have to start from scratch.
- What were you thinking burning food? - Jo asks sarcastically.
- How I met you and how you corrupted me - he said, already knowing that she was going to swear.
- But it was you who corrupted me, you shameless, blaming me - she snapped as he knew she would.
- But what were you talking about while I was on a mayonnaise trip? -Alan began preparing a new sauce against his will.
- No big deal.
- Hummm I know - Alan pretends to believe - Who doesn't know you, buy you Jo Ann. Spit it out.
- I told you... I was watching the new Netflix drama that I can't remember the name of, the one about the mobster... and I'm really enjoying it, you should see it - She said it more stuttering and choosing words than anything, he knew she hadn't said it, but he decided to pretend she had.
- I'll add it to my list.
- But you're going to see it, aren't you? - she asked doubtfully.
- Of course I will. It's not like you don't know me, I love an Asian, especially a mafioso - he almost couldn't hold in his laughter.
- "Let Cauã hear you, Mr. Alan," Jo Ann said, making him burst into laughter.
- Let him take care of himself - he says, causing a burst of laughter on the other end of the line - You think I'm joking, don't you? Nobody takes me seriously.
- Hmmm. Stop the drama - she scolds him.
- Let's talk about you, miss. How's life since you last called? - He asked her, giving her no escape.
- It's going - she replied, trying to fool him
- Stop trying to fool me, Mrs. Jo Ann - he scolds her.
- You know, I'm working, living life - she said at last.
- And this heart already has an owner?
- You're tired of knowing that I'll never fall in love again - she replied with conviction.
- But it's been over a year, my friend
- I know, Alan, but I don't believe in love anymore - she said tiredly. - Now I'm going to let you finish dinner for your own good, make sure you enjoy the evening for me, see you later!
- You can leave my favorite crazy. See you! Take care!
As soon as the call ended, Alan finished his dinner, his much-desired lasagna bolognese was almost ready, he could finally breathe a sigh of relief, he would be able to finish dinner for the celebration before Cauã arrived.
As he sat down on the sofa, he took a deep breath with his head resting on the backrest, looked up at the ceiling and sighed, thinking at that moment about how his life was going, was he really happy? Why had he stayed so long in a relationship that no longer pleased him? What did he see "in him" that made him put up with so much?
These thoughts wouldn't leave his head, he tried at all costs to find an answer to those thoughts that had been tormenting him for days, but he couldn't find any plausible answer.
To distract himself, he reaches for the TV remote and turns it on. He decides to watch the series that Jo Ann had just shown him, which ends up distracting him, making him lose track of time, and by the time he's startled, he's already seen two one-hour episodes. What he finds strange is that it's very late and Cauã hasn't arrived yet.
"The number you have reached is disconnected or out of range"
That robotic voice from the voicemail raised his concern, making him wonder why his husband was so late. Alan continued to call incessantly, and the voice of that damn robot had already stressed him out. As a last measure, he sent a message.
Hi, love
Are you coming?
I'm worried. 23:45
The message went, but didn't arrive, leaving Alan more worried and at times suspicious that Cauã was up to something.
"Whenever he gets up to something, he turns off his cell phone." He thought.
It was almost midnight and Cauã still hadn't given any news. Now Alan was sure that he was up to something, and he wouldn't let his husband get away with it. Frowning, already aware of what awaited him the next day, he walked slowly towards the kitchen. Could Cauã have forgotten his wedding anniversary? What was so important that he didn't come home? Doesn't he miss coming home? What do I mean to him? These and so many other questions swirled around in his head, but he was only certain that he would have all his answers as soon as morning came, and depending on these answers he would take drastic action, no matter who it hurt.
When he got to the kitchen, he could see that his hunger had gone, although his desire to get drunk had increased exponentially. He grabbed the wine from the freezer that he had set aside for the long-awaited celebration that might not have happened, and poured himself a shot in one of the glasses resting on the table.
As he made his way back to the living room, his thoughts wouldn't leave him alone, countless situations and possibilities ran through his head. Sometimes he hated having so much imagination, but worse than having it was not being able to control the speed at which these thoughts appeared in his mind.
In the sheer stubbornness that took over his actions, he tried to call his husband, his anger taking over his being as soon as he heard the signal from the voicemail and the following message.
"The number you have reached is disconnected or out of coverage"
Realizing that Cauã wasn't coming home that night, Alan decided to go to bed and figure out what he was going to do the next morning.