“I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase”
My Immortal - Evanescence
Jo Ann entered the teachers' lounge to say good morning to everyone who was there, realizing that her long-time friend wasn't there, she wondered if the evening had been so good that Alan had missed the time.
The days that passed were more tiring than usual, but as always she kept that to herself. Yesterday, she had spoken to her friend, and she had noticed from the phone call that he was beaming, which had taken her mind off things a little, even though she knew that her husband was worthless. As in every phone call with Alan, she had said too much, which left her with the impression that she had given herself away, despite the fact that they had been friends for over ten years and that they knew each other better than they knew themselves, Jo tried at all costs to appear to be fine, but to tell the truth she was trying to live as she had before all this happened.
She sat down in a chair in the middle of the table, "it was the only one available at the moment" and put her handbag on her lap. Ann's recollection of what Alan did probably caused her to burst into laughter, and everyone in the room looked at her as if she was crazy for laughing like one. Jo Ann settles into her chair to wait for the rest of the contingent to arrive.
About five minutes before the bell, her phone starts ringing incessantly, leaving the madwoman searching inside the bag that Alan has nicknamed Mother Lucinda's Dumpster.
After a lot of searching, finding things that she thought were lost, she finally found her cell phone, but the call had already been dropped, and being the curious person that she is, she decided to check who had called.
Before she could see who it was, the phone started ringing again and she thought it was Alan who was calling, but she immediately thought that my no-frills friend wanted to warn her that he was going to be late, so she answered the call.
- Hi! I know what you're calling about - Ann pauses and thinks she hears a sniffle, but decides to continue - You're going to be late. I'll let you know here.
- I'm not going to work today - As soon as he told her, she was sure he was crying or still crying - I'm in no condition to work.
- What happened, Al? - She asks, but he stays silent, Jo hears him start to cry again to add to his despair - I'm on my way. And don't give me that you don't have to because I can see you're not well.
With no patience to wait to hear what Alan was going to say, she ended the call, threw her cell phone into her bag and hurriedly got up from her chair, frightening those in the room. They even tried to ask her what had happened, but she didn't give them a chance to ask her, and then she would send a message to the principal telling her why she was in such a hurry.
- Today I'm not coming back - It was the only thing that came to mind, worrying about Alan didn't allow her to think properly about what she was doing, one day Alan would kill her, she was sure of it, someone asked what was going on, and when Jo Ann heard her, she had already left the building.
Oblivious to everything around her, she didn't even realize that she had arrived at the parking lot. Her thoughts are in a whirlwind of possibilities as to what could have happened to put Alan in that state.
"I swear, if that snoring son of a bitch laid a finger on my friend, I'll end his race." It was with this thought that she started the car and headed towards her friend/brother's apartment.
The first thing Jo Ann notices is that the door to the apartment is ajar, which makes her think the worst, afraid of how she would find her friend, she takes a deep breath and goes inside, fear dominating her body making her tremble in anticipation.
Many scenarios played out in her mind of what had probably happened to cause Alan to call her in the state he was in, her eyes watering at the thought of what had happened to Al.
- Al, where are you? - Jo speaks up for fear of finding him unconscious or something, anxiety takes hold of her, her heart racing in anxiety mixed with fear, not being able to think straight, again all the possibilities come to mind, to increase her despair even more
- I'm in the kitchen - As soon as she hears her voice broken by crying, Jo Ann doesn't walk much less run, what she's done doesn't fit in with anything, she's run like hell through the living room to finally reach her destination, but the state in which she found her friend surprised her. Her friend was curled up in front of the sink, his head between his knees, shedding all the tears possible and impossible.
She had stopped at the doorway because she had been startled to find her friend there, frail and broken. Before she went in, she analyzed the scene before her eyes: he was like that, his wedding ring in front of him.
It was at that moment that Jo Ann realized what had happened. She walked over to him and sat down next to him, hugging him.
She put Alan's head on her lap, he continued to cry for a long time, Ann couldn't say how long her friend had been crying, but when she realized that Alan's breathing had become slower and that he had fallen asleep, she could finally breathe a little easier.
The whole situation worried her, what had happened must have been very serious for her friend to be in the state he was in, at least now that he was asleep he had finally stopped crying.
Alan woke up without remembering that he had fallen asleep, at least he hadn't slept on the floor, he felt something soft under his head. He didn't remember falling asleep, but he woke up on something soft, at least his head was still on the floor, and he soon realized that his head was in someone's lap.
The memories of the last twenty-four hours came flooding back into his mind, and he felt like collapsing again, but he had to be strong and bear it, he had made the decision himself, so now he had to bear the consequences.
- Now that you've calmed down, you can tell me why I found you in this state." The person spoke so that he could recognize that it was Jo Ann who was there, and it came to mind that he had called her.
"Shit! That crazy woman had dropped everything to see if I was all right." He thought.
- What had that son of a bitch done? - She asked, looking like she wanted to kill him.
- Stop talking like that... - Alan said and was interrupted.
- Are you still going to defend him? - Jo Ann asked indignantly.
- Are you going to let me finish or are you going to keep interrupting me, and first of all I'm not going to defend him, because he fucked up - she said, sitting down next to him.
- Then come on and get it over with. You know how anxious and worried your friend is to have found you like this, I've never seen you shed a tear - she shot off like a parrot, all dramatic, to his side.
Alan took a deep breath, if she was here then there was nothing better than taking advantage of her kindness, he told her everything that had happened over the last twenty-four hours, to his delight Jo Ann remained silent while he told her, as soon as he finished, her eyes bulged with surprise, it seemed that she really hadn't expected him to do such a thing.
- So you did it and I wanted to kill the bastard - she says after a few moments in silence - But you haven't explained one thing to me, why did I find you like this?
He swallowed the saliva that had built up, he was still in a whirlwind of emotions, but he forced himself to calm down, to try to express what he felt and why his friend had found him in that state.
- To tell you the truth - he paused, trying to reorganize his thoughts and understand his feelings - I know you found me crying, you must be thinking it was regret for what I did... - Jo Ann interrupted him.
- "It's the most obvious conclusion." He looked at her sternly, making her swallow. I won't interrupt any longer.
- But the truth is that it's a cry of relief, of knowing that I'll never make a fool of myself again - He paused to moisten his dry lips - I finally realized that he had put a blindfold over my eyes, not letting me see anything - Alan paused again, lifting me off the kitchen floor and heading for the living room, his friend was already losing patience with all these pauses in the story he was telling.
- Where are you going, Al? - Jo Ann asked me.
- I'm going to the sofa, my butt hurts from sitting on the floor," she said, causing her to laugh. - I curse as soon as I stop in front of the sofa.
- Oh my God. What now?
- I forgot that the sofa is soaking wet." As soon as she finished, they both burst out laughing.
- So let's go to the guest room, which is better known as my room.
- It's actually your room.
Arriving in the bedroom, Alan jumps on the bed without a second thought.
- Now you can continue - Jo Ann says, sitting down on the left edge.
- I realized that what he was saying to me was actually a mirror of what he is, I think I've come to my senses, I don't know why I'm in this state - Alan said, finishing what he wanted to say.
- Now we're going to my place, you need to clear your head - Jo Ann said as she headed out of the room, and when she realized that her friend hadn't gotten up yet, she turned around.
- If you don't come, I'll leave you there - she said, trying to rouse him from his thoughts, but realizing it was no use, she went back to the foot of the bed. Alan only realized that Jo Ann hadn't left when she hugged him - Now tell me what's going on in that pretty head of yours. Because I know you haven't said everything.
He shrugs his shoulders, condemning himself for the fact that his friend knows him so well that she can tell when he's trying to hide something.
- Shit! Why do you have to know me better than I do?
- Well, because I'm your best friend - she said, giving him a nice cuddle - Don't complain that you do that to me too. As the saying goes, lead doesn't hurt. Now stop winding me up and spit it out, you creature of God. - Jo Ann said impatiently.
- Nothing too serious," he says, making her frown and stare at him.
- Hmmm! Tell me something else Alan.
- But seriously, I was just thinking about what my life is going to be like from now on.
- Really?
- You of all people know that I can't lie, but I'm serious.
- Let's get out of bed, take a shower and come home with me.