After yesterday's night, every question in my head is answered already. But there is one thing I'm still curious about. I forgot to ask it from my dad. I'm only in the house for today. I didn't want to go to a club or in my office in the company. I'm just sitting, looking outside my window, thinking for what activities should I do. I want to avoid disturbing my mom, who is still sleeping. I decided to go in our backyard garden and stay there for good.
When I step out of our house, the cold wind embrace me. The neighborhood was filled of silence kind of a ghost town it because it's still 4 in the morning. Probably people are still asleep. I can't sleep because of what happened. What I've discovery, especially the truth for a long time that I grow believing those lies. I'm thinking on how to tell my mom about the thing I discover. She is still in moving forward because she thought she lost his lover.  I walk towards the cottage in our backyard garden. I'm still wearing a white lace dress and I also wear a jacket above it. I exhale and looked at the view. The flowers are dancing because of the wind.  A beautiful scenery I witnessed.
I exhale and inhale. Thinking what to say or how to start the conversation without making my mom break down because of the revelation. I don't know to do anymore. I even forgot to ask my father to come over, so he could help me explain everything to my mom.
Around 5 : 10 in the morning, I decided to enter the house and wake my mother.
I already cook our breakfast. Four beacons and eggs also I make an omelette and two glasses of milk. I walked towards my mother's room. Every take I step, I can feel my heart increase its beat. When I was In front of my mother's room, I saw it slightly open, and I heard her crying again. I took a deep breath and open and walked inside. I've endeavored to be jolly and put a smiled on my face.
“ GoodMorning Ma, breakfast is ready! “
I said and kiss her cheeks. Because of what I did, she cried so hard.
“ Ma, stop crying. I have good news. “ I uttered those words, then I saw she didn't look at me or react to what I said.
Each of the days have passed, it's getting harder for me to help my mom to be back on her self. Day by day I feel so helpless and hopeless,, but I might not give up. She'll be fine again, I know that.
“ Mama, come, I made your favorite desert! And also I buy you a new apron and ingredients and grocery. And there's something more. I buy you to a pair of new dress! Mama, let's go, let's check it out! “ I said with a smile on my face.
But none of them are effective. I can't take this anymore. I need my dad now.
I dialed my father's number within the first ring he answered.
“ Dad, I need you. “ I whispered and my voice broke.
I saw my mom looked at me confused. She stopped from crying and stand up. She raised her finger and point at me. I was shocked by her sudden attitude,, but it shocked me the most when she slap me so hard. I can feel my cheeks hurts a lot and it becomes color red in instant. She's losing her mind. This is not my loveable and caring mom I have.
“ Your dad is dead, and it's because of you! You killed him!  I'll tell you to talk to him, but what have you done? You close the door, then he got shot by the person who has been following him! “ She shouted angrily.
I face soften because of her statement. I can't hold my tears anymore, and it flows like a river. Furthermore, I looked down because I can't look at my mom. She's out of control and I feel guilty about what happened.
“ Mom, I'm sorry. “ I uttered those words.
But before she could react. I saw my dad running towards me as he leaded his hands. I accepted it and without saying a word I run towards my room and locked the door.
I pack my things and grab my important papers from passport, visa and more. I dailed Ralph number and said as I'm leaving the house.
“ Buy me a condo. I'll be staying in there, promptly I'm coming over. Text me the hotel name and info. “ I said and end up the call.
I receive after minutes from Ralph about the condo, and its location. I full speed my car and didn't mind if I break driver's rules and regulations. I don't care, I just want to be alone and away from everything. When I was In front of our gate, I looked back and said.
“ Bye for now. “ I whispered in the air.
My tears didn't stop from falling while driving. My heart is aching, and I'm catching my breath. When I arrive in the parking lot. I went out with my things as Ralph saw me, he is shocked, especially seeing me cry. He didn't say a word but grab my bags. I went inside of his hotel and walk towards my private room. When I arrive at my room door, I press my thumb into the scanner. After the plain scanner turned green, the door automatically open its own. I can feel Ralph followed me from behind, then he closed the door. I sat down in the couch and cry. Ralph walked towards me and hug me.
“ I don't know what to do anymore.” I said and cry out loud.
“ What happened? “ He asked.
Worried are written on his face.
“ My mom is out of control, she's losing her mind. “ I whispered as I wipe my tears away.
“ Is she the one who slap you? “ He asked again.
I nodded my head in response.
He held my hand and said.
“ Don't worry, El. Your mom will be fine again. Everything will be okay. “ He said, and kiss my forehead and stand up as he walked towards the door.
“ I hope so, I don't want to lose my mom forever. “ I uttered.
I'm confused right now, I don't know how to deal with my mother. Even if I left her alone at our house. My dad was there to tell him the news.
I smiled and follow him as I locked the door, and after I enter my room and did everything I could just to fall asleep.