There is confusion and curiosity in Jeon's eyes by my words, I don't know how he will react after hearing the main reason Justin divorced me.
" We were together in college and after that got married, everything was great between us but," the memories of the past were swirling behind my eyes making me hard to tell Jeon everything.
" When we started trying for a baby it seems hard for us to get pregnant, we have visited several doctors but still I couldn't get pregnant." I closed my eyes trying hard to push those memories away because those were nothing but just a headache to me now.
" If it is hard then you don't have to Enya." Jeon placed his hand on my shoulder squeezing it but I have to tell him everything and just forget about that part of my life.
"No, I have to get this off my head Jeon so I can breathe properly and I am very sorry that I didn't tell you the first day we decided to give us a chance." I looked away from his gaze guilty of not having the courage to look into his eyes.
" Look at me, Enya! Baby!" He turned my face towards him holding my chin, tears started leaking from my eyes. He wiped my tears and pulled me towards him and slowly took me into his lap. We were still in the car because once we reach our home I want to leave everything behind.
Jeon has pushed his seat back so I can comfortably straddle him. I buried my face in his neck inhaling his scent to calm myself.
" His Love for me started turning into disgust and hatred but I made myself believe that it was just a phase and once I get pregnant we will get back to normal." The past me was so dumb and pathetic.
" I even ignored his cheating and still tried to make things work between so because at that time I was so dependent on him that I have forgotten about myself." How can I seriously lose myself because of him, and Justin never stood up for me or there for me like Jeon.
" My heart shattered to a million pieces when I saw my sister and Justin having sex on our bed but like a fool, I never confronted them instead like a fool I am I just left them and ignored everything that happened." Jeon's arms tightened around me and he placed a kiss on my head.
" You were not a fool or anything Baby, you were just kind and were in love with a jerk that's it but I know that you were strong and are strong and I really appreciate that." I sobbed more into him listening to his words about me. No one ever told me that I was strong or I am strong but listening to the person I love feels so much more than anything.
" He gave me divorce papers and gave me the reason which a woman can never forget in her entire life. He just crushed my confidence and made me loathe myself."
"He…He wanted to divorce me because I was not getting pregnant and he has taken a test and made me take a test which came back with the results of me being the problem." I sobbed more into his neck not able to control the sadness and anger which is coming out of me which I have locked away somewhere.
" He was a pathetic loser and a douche baby and You are so rare to find and I am lucky to have you." His words soothed my heart and soul.
" No one came in to support me, not even my parents. They just blamed me for everything and abandoned me like I was nothing." It still pains me to think about how my parents didn't take my side but stood with the man who hurt their daughter.
" They didn't know your value baby and it's their loss that they lost you." He started rubbing circles on my back making me relax into his arms.
" I left the place and I came here then I met Siya who was there with me through thin and thick and many times I…I lost the will to live and attempted to end my life but Siya was always there to pull me back from my demons." Jeon's arm tightened around me and his body stiffened knowing that I had attempted to end my life. I know I am not proud of the things I have done in the past.
" You are so brave and strong baby and remember that I, Siya, Andre, and our baby will always be there for you and you are precious to us, and never think that you are alone." He pulled me out of his arms and held eye contact, I can see his sincerity and love through his eyes and I can never be this lucky to have a man in my life who appreciates me and love me for who I am, and accepts me with all the scars.
" Have I ever told you how much I love you!" Words rushed out of my mouth before I can think about them but I am not regretting confessing to him and yes I started falling for him so hard from day one when we met in the club.
His eyes are wide like he is not believing what I am saying, he pinched himself making me laugh at him.
" You are not dreaming Jeon and yes I love you, I know this is too soon but I have never been so sure about anything than this, and I really love you." His eyes filled with tears and he is opening and closing his mouth trying to say something but no words are coming out of him. He pulled my head crashing his lips with mine and started kissing me with so much intensity making me moan into his mouth.
We came up for air not moving our faces from each other attaching our foreheads and inhaling the same air.
" You don't know how much I have waited to tell you this but I was afraid that you will run away if I confess my feelings to you this soon but baby I love you so much that it hurts and I just want to be with you." He pulled me in another kiss but this time it is filled with so much love and care.
It doesn't matter how much longer you have known someone, what matters is how much you know them in a shorter time and connect with them truly in a short period. It takes two seconds to fall in love but an eternity to stay in love.