. . .
“Ocean is more ancient than the mountains, and freighted with the memories and the dreams of Time.”
–HP Lovecraft.
. . .
“Be good to your auntie, sweetheart okay?” my dad was saying as he stood next to the car, his normally bright face pale and weary when he looked at me. He had just finished helping me get my stuff settled inside the house and was to check on our new home, “Once I made sure everything is under control, I promise I’ll pick you up as soon as I can. And then we’ll have pizza. Sounds good?”
I nodded, holding my sketch book to my chest.
Sighing, as if sensing my already-growing bad mood, Dad ruffled my hair affectionately, almost apologetically before he got inside the car, smiled at me for one last time before driving away.
And then, I was on my own.
Well… no, not really.
Reluctantly, I turned to look over my shoulder… only to see my aunt standing by the doorway, tapping her foot loudly and staring pointedly at me with narrowed, black eyes.
…as if considering.
Aunt Lee was very tall for an old lady with graying black hair in an impeccable bun, held up by a vibrant blue hair-comb and an unsmiling, gaunt face that reminded me too much of my dad’s grouchy expression whenever he has to pull an all-nighter in the hospital.
I think if I stood right next to her, my head could barely reach her chest (and I’m usually considered too tall for the other girls my age) even though she stands perpetually slouched with stick-like, too-long limbs that looked as pale as paper. Her fingernails were long and looked kind of dirty, and I’m pretty sure those could be even used as a lethal weapon if she really puts her mind into it.
“Uh,” I shifted from foot to foot, suddenly feeling very awkward in front of my estranged aunt but she’s letting me stay, so the least I can do is to be nice, “Hi Auntie, thank you for having me–”
“To be honest, I’m regretting it already,” Aunt Lee suddenly hissed in a voice that was so low and spiteful–it sounds like nails being scraped on a chalkboard–and I almost recoiled at the visible anger that was so present in her tone, “But as long as you don’t stick your unwanted self where it clearly doesn’t belong then I suppose the two of us wouldn’t have any problems in the future. And you wouldn’t want any problems now, would you… Leah?”
Completely cowed, I hurriedly nodded.
“…Close the door after you get in,” she snapped before stalking somewhere away inside the house without waiting for me to answer.
I winced as I quietly followed her order.
She… she didn’t even get my name right.
My real name is Leigh Anne (pronounced as Lay-Ann) though my closest friends–and even my dad–sometimes call me Lei-Lei but I couldn’t even find it in me to correct her for the tiny slip.
…Because, quite frankly, my aunt scares me.
She reminds me of old ladies you’ll hear from horror stories or… or what evil witches in fairytales who hurts, and eats children would supposedly look like if they suddenly became real.
You see, my mom died just a few months ago. And now, I’m supposed to stay with my aunt (Aunt Lee is my Dad’s older, half-sister) until Dad got things settled back home because we’re moving and our new home is being renovated at the moment. This is the first time me and my aunt met each other in person too.
So… yeah.
Estranged is putting it lightly.
Now I understand what Dad meant when he told me that his big sister was willing to let me stay in her house as long as I stay out of her way. And that I should be on my very best behavior.
Be polite, I tell myself, be nice…
Wait.
Wait a minute!
Come to think of it, when my mom was still alive, she didn’t seem get along with my aunt too on the infrequent times Aunt Lee’s name was somehow brought up in a conversation… which is kind of weird since Mom was like, a wonderful person. She’s cool, friendly and everyone who has met her generally likes to be in her circle. And I’m not only saying this because she’s my mother.
Anyway, Dad told me on the way that Aunt Lee can be kind of mean, can be rather… unfriendly sometimes, a very moody person who takes her privacy quite seriously and is into weird things overall, but he reassured me that everything should be okay as long I minded my business.
Huh.
No wonder Mom never liked this woman.
God, why am I even surprised?!
* * * * *
Even though Aunt Lee was a terrible host and (as expected) an overall terrible company, her place kind of make up for it; her home was beautiful, breathtaking even that the idea of living here didn’t put much damper in my mood. She lives in a large, beautiful house that was within walking distance by the coast.
My aunt pretty much owns most of the property around here. Dad told me Aunt Lee had inherited it from her mother’s family.
And if there is one thing that I loved the most living with her is the idea of being so close to the sea itself.
On the first few days of my stay, I amused myself by swimming, collecting the prettiest of seashells or just sitting down and drawing the fantastic view by the shoreline. Sometimes, just dipping my feet or letting the water splash my legs as I walked around, scaring the little fishes or crabs had been enough to entertain me.
Mind you, this is the first time I get to stay for as long as I pleased by the water without having any of my parents to fuss over me to stop dawdling and start packing for home.
Aunt Lee didn’t really care whatever it was that I am up to as long as I was already inside the house before it gets dark or that I am not snooping around her things or–God forbid–her bedroom. To put it simply, I can go anywhere and do whatever the heck I want before the sun sets. Oh, and kindly stay out of her way pretty please, especially her bedroom–period.
Sounds easy enough?
…Nah.
To be honest, I think she still hasn’t gotten over the fact that I tried to bring some lunch in her bedroom (seriously, what’s up with that?) because I never saw her come downstairs to get something to eat all day so I got really worried.
But instead of being touched by her only niece’s concern, Aunt Lee had flown into such a violent rage that it almost scared me as much as her words flew right over me like a sucker punch, she just wouldn’t stop yelling in English and as if that wasn’t bad enough, she suddenly started cursing me in Mandarin too and… and she even said so many horrible, cruel things to me, about my dad and even about my mom that–you know what? I’m not even ashamed to admit at this point–I literally bursted into tears in front of her until she slams the door shut in my face.
It took me a minute to have a half in mind to run to the safety of my designated bedroom… and it took everything in me not to call my dad there and then.
I think I cried myself to sleep on my first night with her.
And we never talked with each other again after that.
It’s kind of sad that we often avoided each other like the plague especially since we’re the only people around here… which wasn’t really hard to do considering just how big her house is but I think it all has something to do with my suspicion that my aunt sleeps during the day because she’s always locked inside her bedroom doing heaven knows what.
And then, before it gets really dark, I would always hear her stomping footsteps leaving the house… just to walk along the beach, I guess.
I don’t think Aunt Lee comes home till morning.
Well, I don’t really want to know what that crazy old bat is up to. Or quite frankly, I don’t really care at that point; I was still upset by what happened on my first night.
Because even if she is letting me stay in her house for free, Aunt Lee still had no right to say such awful things to me especially to my parents! And looking back on it now, I wish I was able to defend myself instead of tearing up like a baby.
I should have talked back, should have stood up for myself and… and if nothing else, I wish I was able to stand up for my parents.
…I just wish she’d say sorry at least.
But… but still…
That didn’t happen.
And if there is one thing that actually intrigues me, it is the lack of people around these parts. You would think that with a view this awesome, a place this neat, you’ll find it brimming with lots of people that would just… I don’t know, hang around fishing, swimming or simply playing by the seashore maybe but… but no. Nothing, it’s just me, my grouch of an aunt and the perpetually crashing waves.
It’s like a paradise.
One that I only know of.
Huh…
I like the sound of that…
If only it was my dad or at least someone I could actually enjoy having around was the one with me right now, it will make things less lonesome when the novelty of living by the sea wears off.
* * * * *
It was a hot, Thursday afternoon.
Four days since my stay here when I opted to stay indoors for the time being. It was too hot outside and I wasn’t really in the mood to bear it only to melt right under the summer sun.
But hey, it was still kind of nice watching the waves and hearing them even from just by the porch. I was helping myself with some sandwiches (I think I was on my third peanut butter sandwich) when I accidentally caught sight of a small book hidden behind a large, potted plant.
To be honest, I don’t think I would have even noticed that stupid book in the first place if I wasn’t too bored out of my mind.
The book was kind of small, almost the size of a grown man’s hand, I guess, with a thick ocean blue ribbon wrapped around it to keep some of the papers since the old book itself wouldn’t be able to keep its contents altogether on its own.
It was so, so very dusty and… I think it was leather bound (but looking back on it now, I couldn’t be too sure if that thing was actually made of leather) with a single, shiny stone that reminded me of the color of the sea engraved in its spine. I was almost beginning to think it was Aunt Lee’s old diary or something.
When I was done examining it, I almost returned it back where I saw it, I swear, I really did but… but the curiosity of what was inside the book had been too strong to pass up at that time.
And hey, in my defense, I was bored.
Because for the past few days, I have done nothing but make various sketches of the beach, swim, collect seashells and walk by the seashore, admiring the same view for the bazillion time.
In short: I’M QUITE SICK OF IT!
Not to mention, the last person I had a proper conversation with was my dad (Aunt Lee screaming and cursing at me in Mandarin for trying to be nice of my own volition most definitely did not count) and that was like, what? Four days ago?
Besides… what’s the worst that could happen if I browse through my old grouch of an aunt’s super-secret diary for (gasp!) something scandalous?

Alright, confession time… maybe that was just a part of me being petty, some sort of childish vengeance of wanting to get back at Mrs. Grinch for the uncalled attitude because from the get-go, she had been right: I really have no business snooping around on her stuff.
But… but still!
Just a little peek, I promise…
What she didn’t know wouldn’t even hurt her!
Emboldened, as soon as I opened the stupid book, I slammed it shut almost instantly with a startled noise of disgust, any feelings of childish resentment that have been brewing inside me immediately dying down like a candle on a windy night just as quick because for real, what the hell was that?
What the hell did I just see?!
There are no words, no letters, let alone a single clue as to who could have possibly made or drawn the disturbing illustrations of such a strange book that doesn’t even have a title on it because the first page itself just literally shows a picture of (what seemed to be) hundreds of rows of naked men and women genuflecting in front of some sort of… creature.
Its body vaguely looks like a human at first glance but I’m sure as heck it wasn’t supposedly to be one. It looked like the creation of man gone horribly wrong.
Feeling wriggly in my own skin, like spiders were crawling all over my insides at the idea, I gingerly peeled the book open again after a moment of hesitation… and scrunched my face in disgust as soon as I laid my eyes upon the crude drawing on the first page once more.
The… the thing in the drawing had a strangely formed head that almost blocked the weirdly drawn sun and moon behind it–or at least, I think it was supposed to be that… or maybe it was supposed to be an illustration of the eclipse? They were literally merged together after all–most of the upper part of its elongated face was curiously covered by what seemed to be a gauzy, paper-like wrappings trailing and sticking over in its skin.
It honestly made me think of a preserved mummy that I have once seen in history class… although this one appears to have a faint glow coming from the slits of where its eyes should have been… if they haven’t been covered.

The being has an abnormally long human-looking neck, torso and two sets of arms filled with too-long claws, palms and fingers that are stretched so wide open as though it was welcoming all of the kneeling humans with a wide, open embrace… and below the waist, there was nothing but a mass of inky-black tentacles.
Its body appeared to be so grotesquely large since it practically dominates the entire page and it has a (much larger) maw that was located on its stomach filled with too-much, too-sharp teeth.
And it seemed to be smiling at me.