The following week
Dressed in my swim jammers and the Penfield's Sharks jacket, I sat in the waiting area amidst twenty-four other members of the team who were participating in the swim meet.
I unfolded the heat sheet in my hand. Coach Sarah had signed me up for two events; breaststroke and one medley relay. Just thinking about them made sweat seep out of my pores.
"Nervous huh?"
My eyes darted up to find Princess standing before me and I mumbled, "You have no idea." This was officially going to be my first time representing Penfield in a competition, and I would be lying if I said anxiety wasn't squashing up my heart right now.
"Here," Princess handed over a bottle of Lucozade. "It should help you feel pumped up."
"Thanks." I unscrewed the cap and took a sip. That was when an announcement filtered out of the tv on the wall.
"Ladies and gentlemen, the first heat is about to begin. We're starting with the 100meter male backstroke, so swimmers please find your lanes."
The footage then switched to the corridor that led to the locker rooms. Seth stepped out first, waving and throwing kisses in the air as if he'd already won the heat. Swimmers from other competing teams trailed out too, sending him the stink eye but Seth didn't give a hoot. He was too busy wowing the crowd with a series of back flips.
"Oii, this boy," Princess rubbed her temples and I chuckled, secretly wishing I had just a tiny bit of his confidence.
After stretching, swimmers took their position in the water, holding on to the metallic railing of their respective block. Since backstroke was the only swim style that required swimmers to be on their back, it had to start with the swimmers in the pool and clutching on to the starting block's railing. All the other swim styles began on top of the starting block with swimmers bent over.
The camera soon moved to the competitors, capturing each of their tensed faces on the screen. Seth's was the fifth to show up. His lips were pressed tight, gripping the railing and drawing in steady breaths. Seth was a very jovial person, always cracking jokes at someone's expense during practice. So seeing him this serious felt awkward, but then again this wasn't a time for silly stuff. It was the first heat of the competition. Pressure was riding on him.
"Ready!"
The entire court fell silent with anticipation.
Beep!
Water splashed and soon all swimmers were streamlining through the water. They later emerged on the surface, face up and began extending their arms, moving them outward whilst simultaneously kicking their feet. A mountain of cheers flooded my eardrums as the swimmers took their turn.
"C'mon bro," Ethan urged, staring up at the screen. "You can do this."
And he was definitely proving that he could. As they fought past water to return to their starting blocks, Seth had managed to put himself in second place, but was gradually bypassing the swimmer who was before him. Speeding up the movement of his arms and coupled with strong kicks, Seth quickly touched the tile.
"Yes!" A thunderous shout of joy erupted around me and I couldn't help but join in. By winning the first meet, Seth had qualified for the next backstroke heat. That had to mean something, an omen that Penfield's Sharks already had this in the bag.
Time whizzed on with heat after heat. I watched my fellow teammates bring victory to Penfield, straining muscles and scouring through water. And not long after, it was my turn.
Standing outside the locker rooms with my competitors, I attempted a few stretches, prepping myself for the race.
"At this point, you're basically radiating tension." Princess stalked towards me, arms folded. Thirty minutes ago, she'd emerged winner for the 100meter female breaststroke event, automatically signing herself up for the regional meet. She'd done Penfield proud. I could only hope to do same.
"Yeah well..." I brought my hands down. "It's all an effort to keep our winning streak going, right?" Slouching forward, I tried desperately to relax my raging nerves... which wasn't working at all.
"Hey, hey look at me." Princess moved closer, grasping my shoulders. Reluctantly, my gaze flitted up to meet her dark pupils burning with determination. "You're gonna do great ok. Really, I've watched you practice your ass off for this race and you're definitely going to kill it. You just have to believe, believe in yourself, Akwasi. You've got this."
Swallowing a breath, I nodded and managed to give her a smile.
"Ladies and gents, it's time for the men's 100meter breaststroke heat," the announcement crackled outside. "Swimmers please find your lanes."
Princess gave me a double pat. "Make us proud."
"Sure." With a final nod, I followed my competitors out into the court, meeting a cloud of applause and cheers. "Lane seven, lane seven, lane seven." I stalked towards it, keeping my head low.
"Akwasi!"
My head darted around.
"Akwasii!"
The voices doubled up and so did my search. Waving hands soon caught my vision, bringing a smile onto my face. "Noo way!" In the next minute, my feet carried me in the direction of the bleachers.
Akunna, Deon and a couple of my friends from the engineering club sat in the front row, holding a banner that read, "Go Akwasi! Go Sharks!" in bright blue paint. Joy swelled up in my heart. "You guys! I can't believe you followed us all the way here."
"Well the ride from campus did pinch our pockets a little, but it doesn't matter cuz we're not missing out on a club member's moment to shine!" Felix yelled, waving one side of the banner. "Woooo! Penfield is winning this!"
I laughed then made eye contact with my roommate. "Akunna, thought you hated coming for these sports events."
"Yeah, I still do." He rubbed the back of his neck. "But I'm not missing out on my roommate's first competition." A grin touched his lips. "Go knock 'em dead, bro." He extended a fist and I quickly bumped it with mine.
"Yeah, show them how it's done!" Deon growled, pulling another chuckle from me. Seeing all of them here had miraculously transformed half of my anxiety into enthusiasm, and just when I thought that was the end of it, my heart leaped at the sight of the engineering club's president.
Shola's brown eyes lit up as she hopped over a bleacher to join Akunna and the others on the first row. "Hi." She waved.
"Hey," I smiled, feeling everything else disappear, but not before a warning echoed out of the speakers.
"100meter breaststroke swimmers, please find your lanes. The race is about to begin."
"Umm," my eyes darted back to Shola and she shook her head.
"Go, we can talk after the meet." Her lips expanded into a soft smile that filled me with warmth. "Goodluck."
"Thanks." Ignoring the teasing glances Akunna and the others were throwing my way, I raced back to my block, pulling my cap and goggles over my head. Sucking in a breath, I climbed onto the block, bending over at the same time with the other swimmers; six on my right and one on my left.
"Ready!"
The water lay before me, crystal and clear. All I had to do was pave a way through it. Just like Princess had taught me.
"Set!"
My hands gripped the cold block.
Beep!
I thrust myself forward, arms extended and streamlining through the pool. Pushing myself to the surface, I started with my strokes, shoving water to the side. Since I was in the last but one lane, the waves created by the other swimmers found their way into my lane, making propulsion more difficult. Nonetheless, I strained muscle, cutting through the water as fast as I could.
But it wasn't enough. By the time I'd reached the turn, I was far behind with only two swimmers lagging behind me. I pushed harder, exerting energy to close the gap. When my hand finally slapped the tile, I swallowed in air and quickly pulled off my goggles. Up on the score board, my name glowed in red next to the placement slot.
5th.
5th out of 8 swimmers.
"Shit!" I slapped a hand over the water.
Disappointment seared through me as I pulled myself out of the pool. Even though I could hear familiar voices calling out my name over the cheers, I was too embarrassed to make eye contact with them. They were so confident that I was going to win this thing, but I had let them down. I had let the entire team down.
Keeping my head low, I hightailed it to the locker room to wash off the chlorine. I was the first to make it to the showers and I quickly inserted myself under one spray of water. My competitors filed in later, chatting up a storm. I, on the other hand, was too lost in my own sad thoughts to join in.
Past training sessions flashed in my head. I shouldn't be this hard on myself. After all, this was my first meet and the anxiety of everything was bound to affect my performance. But the rumbling turmoil of embarrassment and disappointment had me feeling like the most useless person on the planet. I'd spent the entirety of practice working on my breaststroke not to mention wasting Princess' time training me, just to take 5th place?
I slammed a fist into the tiled wall. When? When did I become such a failure? I couldn't even carry my team into the next heat. All those hours, practicing and training... I'd just thrown all of it down the drain.
"Akwasi!" A hand clamped down on my shoulder and forcefully yanked me around to meet Ethan's furrowed expression. "What the fuck are you still doing here?" He bellowed out, shooting an arm past me to turn off the shower.
As expected, the pelting drops came to a halt and I cast a glance around, noticing that the two of us were the only ones standing in the large room.
"You've got Princess and that fat roommate of yours worried sick."
"S-sorry." The word left my mouth without any form of emotion.
Ethan sighed before grabbing me by the arm. "Come on, let's get you cleaned up."
In the next minutes, I found myself in the locker room, towel-drying my hair. Ethan sat down on the bench in front of me and held out a water bottle. "Drink. You need to stay hydrated for the relay."
I pulled the towel down. "The relay."
"Yeah. Hope you didn't forget about it."
"I didn't," I paused. "But are you sure you want me in it?"
Another one of Ethan's rugged sighs met my ears. "Come on Akwasi, you just lost one race. It's not the end of the world."
"To me it is." I slouched forward. "I broke our winning streak. I let everyone down...so you might as well take me off the relay. I'm done for the day."
A beat of silence followed.
"Wow." Ethan stood up, only to pace back and forth then turn to me. "You know, I never thought you were such a quitter." His malicious tone went a notch higher. "Just because you didn't win one single race, you want to drop everything else to wallow in self-pity? How...how can you even think of doing that!"
"I wouldn't expect you to understand, Ethan!" My gaze flew up to him. "You're one of Penfield's best athletes."
"So?" He shot back. "You think I just got that title without having to endure pain or failure? You think they just handed me team captain on a silver platter? Hell no! I had to work for it! I had to hone my skill, practice each and every single day!" He paused to suck in a breath. "There were times that I hit a wall, I lost races, I injured myself. But I didn't let any of that stop me because I knew that swimming is my destiny. You showed that to me when we were kids, remember?"
As if on cue, all those memories played like a slide show right before my eyes.
"You showed me that swimming is special. It's not just a sport, it's a gift." Ethan sat back down in front of me. "So why are you giving up on that gift all because of one dumb race?"
The question echoed in my ears in search of a suitable answer.
There was none.
No matter how many times I tortured my brain, I couldn't find a single reason to give up. Because swimming was not only my destiny, it had become my life, and I couldn't imagine myself without it.
"Yo, Ethan! Akwasi!" The locker room door squeaked open and in stepped Seth. "Our relay is starting soon, you guys coming or what?"
Ethan turned back to me. "Are we, Akwasi?"
If there was ever a life changing moment for me, it was now. Now was the time to redeem myself.
Getting up on my feet, two simple words left my mouth.
"We are."