Lance Spiller
Waking up with this painful feeling I had in my chest made me feel useless as days were passing, and I did nothing aside from staying inside this private hospital at the company. I was always forcing myself to work on anything that may come to my mind. I did this to avoid getting drowned in my negative thoughts. Every time I draw on scratch paper paired with a graphite pencil placed inside a small square that I asked from my teammates, I felt relieved. I can also adjust the pencil according to the length that you wished to have. But the most important thing was, the sensation of being vocal in your way about how you had been feeling was the most satisfying part.
I was sitting right here beside the corner of my bed while making sort of scribble art. I can't fix my posture properly because of the injury I had with my chest. The unusual feeling of getting hit by a bullet kept flashing in my mind. It was disturbing the way I gathered my thoughts every day. To think that my freedom limited with staying outside for an hour because of breaking the rules made me feel less powerful despite being the right hand of Wake.
I knew this is the consequence that I need to get through since it was my fault for blocking the bullet from hitting either Wake or Sarah. The moment happened, so there was no way to turn back the time anymore.
About an hour later, I heard the sound of the automatic sliding door was opening. That machine effect sound brought an irritable reaction to my hearing. I easily got distracted, and it was driving me nuts, thinking that I had been this sensitive ever since I woke up.
But, despite my 'hearing problems' this time, I still managed to avoid looking at those people who always get in and out of this room.
"Hello again, Lance. How are you doing?" A lively, formal voice of our new leader, Hisha approached my direction. She placed his left hand over the edge of the table where I drew, and she put her weight into it, making the right of her foot being behind the other side. One of her eyebrows raised while she let out a casual smile.
It felt tiresome to hear her voice all the time. She always greets me like that every day.
I focused my attention on the one I draw while she was making a disturbing face in front of me. "Hm... Your art looks cooler than the one you made yesterday." She commented. I didn't think she was actually praising my drawings since, again, she always has the same words every single day. I even thought if she was real to those words that spilled out from her mouth. It sounded unreal.
I let out a deep breath. I know what will happen next to this.
"Well, stop that now." She commanded in strong diction while gazing at me. I didn't give a damn to look at her reaction.
She laughed in sarcasm. "Oh, I almost have forgotten something, huh?" She started. She moved slowly at my back while crossing her arms in front of her chest. I waited for her next words while pretending to keep sketching even though I finished the art a second ago.
"Aha! You were jealous of me!" She continued with her high-pitched voice, pointing my back. I cannot see her from behind, but I knew she was mocking me with her gestures. I froze for a while because of what she said.
I can't understand the feeling I had right now, but I felt attacked personally. The atmosphere between my thoughts were furious. How can Hisha say that to me? Of course, I didn't envy her. The board decided to take her as the new leader in our team, and I did not have any problem with that. Honestly, I was proud to have her as our new leader.
I held the pencil harder, making a fist that will almost crumple the paper underneath. I wanted to invalidate Hisha's accusations, but as a member, I shouldn't be disrespecting her. At this time, I chose to release my anger and tried my best to gain back the calmness I had.
"I am not like that, Hisha," I spoke after I let out an air of exasperation.
She quickly headed back in front of me with her eyes wide-opened. She was trying to make me believe that she looked surprised because of what I said. But, unfortunately, I already knew that ahead.
She threw a teasing hand gesture while moving her head to the side in a second. "I know you are just trying to be humble. Psh! Don't mind it!"
I gasped. "I truly am. It may sound impossible for you, but yes, I exist."
"Tsk."
"Have you even look at my situation right now? I am not desiring to run our group. I am fully injured, and I can't manage to handle a load of responsibilities at once." I looked at her stagnant reaction as I explained in the most sincere way to prove how serious I am with my words. "So, don't worry, Hisha. I am not going against you. I ain't craving for that position; I am more of being an effective member of this group than a leader." I added, hoping for her to get my point.
We stared at each other for about a minute or two first before she moved. "I don't believe you." She whispered firmly. Her eyes looked vexatious. It was like inviting me to a dispute.
"Fix yourself right now. I am assigning you to a task. Be sure to get ready. Prove to me what an effective member is." She added while she walked away towards the door. Then, she left. Because of what she unexpectedly asked me to, my soul seemed to wake up. I wasn't conceiving of her letting me go to work this time. I cannot believe that she actually said that.
Isn't it obvious that I am still recovering? I wasn't even discharged yet.
-
"-After checking the condition of Wake, you go and see Sarah at the gardens. Then-" I was sitting inside Hisha's office. Along with this circular table were my fellow teammates listening to her instructions. She was talking to me right now, but upon hearing the tasks that she gave to me, I felt tired by just thinking how can I possibly finish these tasks in a day?
"-You try to check if the oxygen is still circulating that room. You filter the fresh oxygen from the plants and replace it with the synthesized one." At this time, I gained back my full consciousness of paying attention to her words. I blinked my eyes while trying to maintain my posture.
I wasn't able to digest what her words mean as I skimmed to the papers she gave to me. Hisha's instructions sounded skeptical, but I cannot concentrate enough on what she was saying. At this point, it was Elaine who acted in my position. She kept on glancing at me. I guess she knew how I felt today. She raised her arms to ask a question. "Excuse me, Hisha-"
"Correction, call me leader, okay?" With a surprising approach of Hisha's attitude towards Elaine, all of us were awaken. In silence, we looked at each other's reactions.
What's going on with Hisha lately?
Elaine looked confuse and extremely bewildered. Her forehead furrowed while slowly releasing back her arms. She was about to look down because of embarrassment, but I secretly bumped my knee to hers as a form of responding again to Hisha. Because of what I did, she looked at me first before constructing her question in accordance to the will of Hisha.
She gulped. "Ahm, le-leader..." Hisha raised her right eyebrows.
"Yes?"
"Do we really need to take off the natural oxygen from the garden and replace it with the synthesized one?" Elaine paused for a while. At this time, Hisha's eyes rolled in not so obvious way. We all noticed that except for Elaine who looked away from her to construct her next statement.
Gabriel's face was questioning the attitude of Hisha as he looked at me and Alexis. Christian raised his shoulders as an indirect way of saying that he had no idea what was going on with Hisha.
When Elaine started to speak up again, we all focus our attention to their conversation. "Sarah might die when we did that. We all know what happened to her the last time she breathed-"
"Alright, stop." Hisha cut off her words while raising her right hand as she looked straight to nowhere. We were all stilled in our position when her voice began to change. She sounded like she wasn't talking to us anymore.
Hisha let out an air before she continued. She crossed her arms, and gave us a dull look. "How can we know if she'd die with that oxygen if we'll not try at least once? Not to mention, I believe Sarah is incapable of dying. Surely, she was the one who made Lance miraculously survived the bullet despite of being shot near the heart." She explained which made me stilled in realization.