CHAPTER 04
Elise's shocked gasp echoed in my ears, mirroring the whirlwind of doubt swirling inside me.
"You did what?" she asked, disbelief coloring her voice.
"I offered to be his girlfriend," I blurted, the words still tasting foreign on my tongue.
"But, Zoey! You just broke up with Kyle! This isn't like you," she exclaimed, her brows furrowed in concern. "What's gotten into you?"
Elise didn't know the truth, not everything. The revenge simmering beneath the surface, cold and calculating, fueled my every move. Yet, shame twisted in my gut. This wasn't the woman I wanted to be.
"It's complicated," I mumbled, searching for words that wouldn't betray my hidden motives. "I just like him, perhaps?"
Her gaze softened, laced with the worry I knew all too well. "But is that the only reason, Zoey? What about Kyle? What if you get hurt, or you hurt him? Well, you've hurt him apparently!"
Her words were a pinprick to my conscience. Using Marco, manipulating him for my own benefit, the thought left a bitter taste in my mouth. Was this truly the path I wanted to walk?
"I don't know," I confessed, the words heavy with doubt. "But the pull is strong, Elise. This connection, Marco... it's undeniable. Like a puzzle I need to solve."
She sighed, her hand reaching out to squeeze mine. "But puzzles come in all shapes and sizes, Zoey. Are you sure you're not forcing the pieces, twisting them to fit a narrative you've already created?"
Her question sent a shiver down my spine. Was I using revenge as the frame, distorting the surrounding truth? Obviously, yes! The image of Kyle's hurt flashed through my mind, a stark reminder of the pain I inflicted.
Silence stretched between us, thick with unspoken thoughts. Maybe Elise was right. Maybe the "perfect time" wasn't when the opportunity arose, but when I was ready to face the truth within myself. But I knew I needed to do it.
The weight of Elise's unspoken disappointment hung heavy in the air as she walked away, her goodbye wave carrying a silent plea. I knew she still cared, but her disapproval was a mirror reflecting the cracks in my own image. Guilt gnawed at me, the memory of Kyle's hurt flashing like a neon sign against the backdrop of my actions.
His figure, distant across the bustling street, seemed to shrink under the burden of your gaze. He avoided my eyes, his posture suggesting defeat rather than anger. It was a sight that simultaneously fueled my resolve and stoked the flames of remorse.
Was this truly the path I wanted to walk? To leave a trail of hurt in my wake, all for a revenge tinged with desperation? The question echoed in the emptiness left by Elise's departure, a void demanding introspection.
Perhaps revenge wasn't the answer. Perhaps, as Elise had hinted, forcing pieces to fit a predetermined narrative only distorted the truth. I craved understanding about what had happened to my family, revenge, but was I seeking it in the right places and time, through the right means?
A single tear escaped, tracing a cool path down my cheek. It wasn't just Kyle's pain I was seeing anymore, but my own reflection on his despair. I was lost, adrift in a sea of conflicting emotions, clinging to a twisted anchor of vengeance.
My shaky "Kyle" echoed off the bustling city streets, swallowed by the roar of traffic and the distance he put between us. He quickened his pace, each frantic step widening the emotional chasm I'd created. Chasing after him physically wouldn't bridge the gap. I had to choose honesty, even if it ripped me open.
"Kyle, wait!" I called again, this time louder, firmer. Not chasing, but offering him the space he needed, hoping he'd hear the sincerity in my plea.
He stopped a few paces ahead, but remained turned away, shoulders hunched like shields. The sight felt like a physical blow, fueling the desperate need to mend things, even if it started with the brutal truth.
Walking cautiously closer, I stopped again at a respectful distance. "Hey," I started, hating the inadequacy of the word. "I know things are… complicated right now. And I know what I said… what I did… was messed up."
Silence stretched between us, heavy with unspoken emotions. I waited, letting my apology hang in the air, offering him the space to respond. Finally, he turned, his face etched with hurt and confusion.
"Messed up?" he echoed, his voice raspy. "Zoey, you offered to be someone else's girlfriend just after breaking up with me. That's… that's not just 'messed up.'"
His words were like shards of ice piercing my conscience. He was right. Offering to be Marco's girlfriend wasn't impulsive, it was a betrayal of the trust we'd built, a reflection of the twisted path I was on.
"I know," I said, shame burning in my eyes. "And I don't have a good excuse. But…" I hesitated, searching for the right words. "There's more to it than you know. More to why I did what I did."
Curiosity flickered in his eyes, battling with the hurt. "More?" he asked, his voice laced with skepticism.
Marco's arrival cut through the tense air like a foghorn, momentarily shattering the fragile bubble of honesty forming between me and Kyle. Unspoken words hung heavy, the silence charged with the weight of what needed to be said.
Marco's smile, however, seemed blissfully unaware of the emotional storm brewing around him. "Ready to ditch these city streets and get some fresh air?" he bounced on the balls of his feet, enthusiasm radiating from him.
I glanced at Kyle, unsure how to proceed. Honesty felt fragile, exposed, but ignoring the situation wouldn't magically mend the damage I'd done. Taking a deep breath, I turned back to Marco.
"Actually," I started, my voice barely a whisper, "I was just talking to Kyle, and..."
My hesitant tone piqued Marco's curiosity. He exchanged a confused look with Kyle, his smile fading slightly. "Talking about what?"
"Nothing. Let's go?" I offered.
I saw his smile again. He was so serious earlier, reminded me of what happened in the past about our families. As he and I walked away, I stole a glance back at Kyle's still figure. The sight of his tears was a constant reminder of the pain I'd inflicted, a weight I couldn't escape. Marco picked up on my quietness and tried to lighten the mood with jokes and playful banter. But my heart remained heavy, unable to shake the image of Kyle's sorrow.
One evening, while walking home alone, I bumped into Elise. Her warm smile faltered upon seeing my downcast expression, replaced by a concerned frown. Without meaning to, the truth spilled out, accompanied by tears and choked sobs. I confessed everything - the revenge, the manipulation, the twisted mess I'd created.
Elise listened patiently, offering a comforting hug and gentle words of support. "You made a mistake, Zoey," she said softly, "but everyone does. The important thing is to learn from it and make things right."
We became quiet for a moment.
"So, you're not Zoey?" This was the second time she asked me. She looked at me seriously.
Letting Elise know about who I am was a risky decision. I was worried that she might tell dad that the real Zoey had passed away and that I was just a lost soul trapped inside her body. But the truth is, I intentionally entered Zoey's body.
"You're kidding, right?" Elise's eyes lit up with excitement, her smile resembling that of a mischievous child. Without hesitation, she reached for her phone and began dialing my dad's number.
My heart raced as panic surged through my veins. "What are you doing?" I blurted out, desperately trying to stop her from making that call.
Ignoring my plea, Elise held the phone to her ear, and I could hear dad's voice at the other end. In a split-second decision, I snatched the phone from her grasp and abruptly ended the call.
A mixture of relief and guilt washed over me as I realized the gravity of my actions. "I was just kidding," I stammered, attempting to regain control of the situation. "You know, practicing being an actress someday."
I hoped that my feeble attempt at a cover-up would be enough to salvage the truth I had revealed about myself and the haunting reality of who I really am.