* If they hurt you, be willing to let them go. *
****
    “ We were best friends. ” Mira sat up straight as she listened to the story of the girl sitting across from her. 
    
    “ He had a girlfriend when we met. ” Mira found herself traveling down the memory lane. Though Joseph didn't have a girlfriend when they met, he had tons of admirers and he eventually got one later. so their stories are similar aren't they? 
    “ The truth is, he didn't tell me initially. If he did. I would have never gotten that close to him. ” The girl made a sniffing sound and Mira handed her a pack of Kleenex.
“ Thank you. ” Her smile was one filled with so much pain and sorrow. 
Mira wondered how old the young girl must be, 16? 17? Or 18? Unlike her other therapy sessions she wasn't able to start with introductions, as the girl in front of her was in too much pain too. 
She got her name though.  “ Ella Beckery. ” 
    “ He told me that later. ” 
“ What are the circumstances that led to your friendship? ” Mira inquired carefully. 
“ Well… he had a lot of addictions and I was able to help him overcome them by being his accountability partner. ” 
“ So he told you he had a girlfriend after he had overcome those, right? ” 
 
“ Yeah. ” 
“ How did you feel after finding out? ” 
“ I felt cheated and lied to. But it was okay, I never asked. ” Ella let out a painful chuckle. 
  “ So what happened? ” 
“ Our friendship progressed, it wasn't a smooth journey though. but yeah I kept putting my all. We had fights and disagreements. ”
“ What were the fights about? ”
“ Well… nothing much. He sometimes didn't make time for me and days went by without us communicating. There were lots of unanswered calls and texts. ” Mira could already guess what happened. 
   Yet, she didn't rush or pressure her. 
“ Okay… Did you confront him? ”
“ I did multiple times, he always came up with the excuse of being busy and not having enough time. ”
“ Is he really? ” 
“ I doubt it. He spends a great amount of time daily watching Netflix and visiting friends. ” 
Mira nodded with understanding. She could only imagine what the young girl went through. 
“ How old are you, Ella? ” 
“ 18. ” 
( A/N : Author's age at the time of writing, lol. I'm 19 at the time of editing though, lol. )
“ Oh… ” 
“ Though I feel older than my age most times. ” She chuckled.
“ It's normal. I always felt that way when I was your age. ” 
“ Oh… it's nice to know I'm not alone in that. ”
“ You are never alone, Ella. ” 
“ Um… thanks. ”
“ You know, I always tried to reason with him and think from his point of view. I tried to understand how stressed and tired he must be after work. ” Mira nodded, urging her to continue.  “ You know, so I overlook that many times. Crazy things we do for love, aren't they?  ” Mira couldn't help agreeing more. 
   “ He broke up with his girlfriend, with the excuse of not being ready for a relationship. At first, I felt good about it as I had this belief that she was the reason why he never really had time for me. But I was wrong, so wrong. The time he spent with me reduced as time went on. ” 
    “ Did you guys meet up often, or is it simply calling and texting? ” 
“ We meet once a week on Sundays. But sometimes we don't. So yeah let's say, we meet three times in a month. ” 
“ Oh. ” 
“ Did he ever mention wanting to spend more time with you? ” Mira recalled how Joseph and her were literally inseparable in the early days of their friendship. 
There were weeks when she had to sleep over at his house, due to the fact that they ended up falling asleep on the couch after having dinner. 
Those days were priceless and still were. 
“ Not really. He only expressed not having enough time to spare. ”
“ Okay. ” 
“ After a year of being best friends, I found myself falling in love with him. I tried to stop myself from falling, but I failed as I fell hard. ”
“ Did you tell him that? ”
“ I did after a while. ” She smiled, reminiscing about the day she told him how she felt. At first I didn't want to have read so many articles online stating how falling in love with your Bestie can ruin your friendship. 
Nevertheless, she went ahead and confessed, now thinking about it. She wondered if she had done the right thing. 
  “ What was his response? ” 
“ Well, he admitted that he had been in love with me for a while, but didn't know how to express it. ” Weird, Mira thought. 
“ How did you feel about his response? ”
“ I felt skeptical, reason being. It wasn't that long since he broke up with his girlfriend, whom he claimed to love unconditionally, especially since she was his first love. ” 
  “ Um. ” 
“ A part of me believed it. I asked him questions concerning the love he had for his ex. But it all fell on deaf ears. He never gave me a reply and I didn't push it, because I felt it was a touchy topic for him. Who would have thought that I was only deceiving myself? ” 
“ It's not your fault, Ella. ” 
“ Maybe it isn't. But it does feel like it sometimes though. ” 
“ Our friendship continued with me expecting more from him and getting disappointed. He soon began to ignore my existence for days and when I would complain, he would give the excuse of not being in the mood for chat. ” 
“ Um… Does he have an issue at home? ” 
“ Yeah. His parents are separated so, I guess that played a big role in breaking him. ”
“ So he's broken, uh? ”
“ Yeah… ”
“ But that still doesn't give him the excuse to hurt you. ” 
“ Well, maybe. ” 
“ So what now? ” 
“ Well… ” Her voice was shaking and I immediately knew what was coming. “ I got a text from him yesterday stating that he doesn't love me and he was tired of forcing himself. He admitted that he had been using work as an excuse. ” 
“ He doesn't love you? ” 
“ He said so. His words came along the lines of, “ How can I love you when I don't even love God? ” 
“ Oh no… ” Mira could feel a heartache coming from a distance. 
“ I'm left wondering, Mira. ” By now, Ella's face was tear stained as she failed in keeping them in control.
“ If he didn't love me. Why did he always say he did? Like why? He should have thrown it at me the day I confessed that he didn't and I would have found a way around it. Why now? Why? ” Ella broke down completely and Mira took up from her chair and walked towards her.
“ Ella. ” Mira called out to her and when the latter raised her head, her heartbroke.
    She embraced her and allowed her to cry as much as she wanted as she figured that's what the latter needed. 
   “ I've only ever wished for a shoulder to cry on. Someone to be there for me. But I never got one. I embraced the idea of having a Best friend for that reason, but well, I guess I was never meant to know how it feels to be loved and happy. ”  Mira's heart squeezed hearing her words. 
She'd been there too. When her parents died, she was left alone in a substandard orphanage. 
    Due to that experience, she was able to understand Ella completely.
Then it dawned on her that she now had to counsel her based on what she has experienced.
Indeed, the saying,  “ You grow through what you go through. ” Is completely accurate. 
…
A/N : What do you think, guys? The truth is, I used most of my emotions in this chapter as  I'm currently going through a mini break up. I just hope it stops hurting soon, as if one thing, it hurts a lot!