SAM POV
As I sat with my mom in the kitchen, she looked worried and asked why I was in such a hurry to make this decision. She wondered what had changed my mind about staying in Manila and going back to the province. She couldn't understand why I would leave when Nicole, my friend, was here.
I sighed, feeling overwhelmed by her repeated questions. It seemed like she kept asking the same things, expecting a different response each time. But how could I tell her what really happened? How could I confess that I had made a stupid mistake and put myself in danger by trusting a stranger?
In the days following that night, I struggled to deal with the consequences of my choice. The memories tormented me, playing on repeat in my mind like a bad dream. I knew I needed to escape, to find clarity and understand what had happened. But whenever my mom mentioned returning to the province, I couldn't bring myself to explain why I wanted to leave Manila so suddenly.
It wasn't that I didn't have faith in my parents or believe they wouldn't get it. It was just that I couldn't handle the idea of letting them down, of seeing the sadness and concern in their eyes once they found out. I'd always been the reliable one, the one who made smart choices and stayed clear of trouble. But this time, I slipped up, and it almost ruined everything.
As my mom kept asking me, I felt uneasy. I knew I couldn't keep dodging the truth forever, but the idea of confronting it was daunting. "Mom, I just need some time to figure things out," I finally said quietly.
She reached across the table and held my hand, her touch comforting and reassuring. "Sam, if something's bothering you, you can talk to me. We're here for you, no matter what."
"Mom, there's nothing to worry about. Besides I didn't expect life in Manila to be like this. It's busy, hectic, and I'm having a hard time adjusting to the fast-paced city life. Unlike in the province, where it's calm and the air is clean, I feel overwhelmed here. Plus, our grandparents live there, and I want to be with them. They need someone to be around, to look after them." I stopped, took a deep breath.
"In the province, it was different. It was calm, relaxed. You could hear the leaves rustling, the birds chirping, the river softly flowing. The air was clean, clear, refreshing. You could actually breathe," I went on, my voice nostalgic as I remembered our previous home.
Mom looked at me, her eyes full of worry and confusion. "But you can get a job here, why would you go so far away?" she asked, sounding concerned. "And if you're worried about your grandparents, Anne is there. Your cousin and your aunts and uncles will take care of them."
"Mom, it's not just about getting a job," I clarified, my voice firm. "I want to discover a place where I truly fit in, where I can lead a life that matches my beliefs and dreams. The city might provide more chances, but it also has its downsides. The chaos, the rush, it's overwhelming for me. I desire a simpler, more purposeful existence."
Mom sighed, her expression becoming gentler as she attempted to see things from my point of view. "I just worry about you, honey," she said, her voice full of maternal affection. "I want what's best for you, and I'm concerned that you might be passing up opportunities by staying in the province. Life can be tough there as well, you know."
"Let our daughter be, honey. Samantha is all grown up, and I'm sure there's a good reason why she wants to go back to our province. She's capable of taking care of herself now," Papa chimed in, understanding that Mom wouldn't stop questioning me.
I need to be alone for now, and I don't want to be in the same place as that guy who took my innocence. Maybe I need to do this to somehow forget the pain caused by my ex-boyfriend. You're really something, Sam, it only happened one night, but now I need to forget two guys.
I hope we never see each other again because I don't know what I'll do if we do. And I just wish that if it happens, he won't remember me, that's how one-night stands work, right?
Mom looked at me, her eyes showing both sadness and pride. She reached out and hugged me tightly, holding me close as if she never wanted to release me. I could feel the strength of her affection, her worry, pressing against my chest.
"Just be careful there, honey," she murmured, her voice tinged with a touch of sorrow. "And give us a call once you get there. Don't stress about us, your dad and I will be okay."
I nodded, feeling a lump in my throat. "I promise, Mom," I said firmly, my voice filled with resolve. "I'll look after myself, and I'll call you every day. You and Dad are everything to me, and I'll always be by your side, no matter where I am.
As she let go, a bittersweet smile appeared on her lips. "I believe in you, honey," she said gently, her hand moving to wipe away a tear that had slipped from my eye. "You've always been brave, tough. I know you'll succeed no matter what challenges come your way."
I looked at my father, who stood there with a happy yet sad smile on his face. He opened his arms, and I walked into his hug, feeling the warmth of his affection envelop me.
Papa affectionately tousled my hair, a teasing twinkle in his eyes. "Look after yourself, kiddo," he said, with a hint of playfulness. "But don't forget, I can still give you a hard time if you get into trouble."
I chuckled, the sound filling the room and easing the tension. "I won't forget that, Papa," I said, a grin spreading across my face. "But I think I'll be okay. And I'll always have you and Mom looking out for me, wherever I am."
As we stood there, surrounded by love and encouragement, I felt overwhelmingly thankful. I was lucky to have such amazing parents, who had always had faith in me.
With a final round of hugs and a few more tears, I bid my parents farewell. I finally left the house carrying a large bag filled with my clothes. I caught sight of Agnes's sullen face in front of her car.
"Wow, acting like a VIP, huh?" my best friend teased, a playful smirk on her face as I approached her car. "Do you think you're too good for my car, Sam?"
I winced at her sharp tone, guilt eating away at me. "Sorry, sis," I muttered, not meeting her eyes. "You know how mom can be..."
She sighed in frustration, gripping the steering wheel tightly as she drove through the crowded streets of the city. "Fine," she muttered quietly. "Just hurry up and get in, so we can catch the early bus."
I nodded, grateful for the opportunity to change the subject. I quickly got into the car, settling into the passenger seat. The engine roared to life, and we began our journey to the bus terminal.
Our trip to the bus terminal was quiet until she suddenly broke the silence with a topic that I had been avoiding.
Nicole words broke the silence, bringing me back to reality. "Are you sure about your plan?" she asked, sounding worried. "Do you really have to do this? Maybe you won't even see that guy again. You were the one who said it was dark that day. I'm sure he won't remember you or search for you."
Her words made me stop, stirring up a storm of mixed feelings inside me. Was I really doing the right thing by leaving Manila, by trying to create as much space between me and that night as possible? Part of me wanted to think that Nicole was right, that maybe I was overreacting, that maybe I could just move on and forget about what had happened.
But inside, I knew it wasn't only about the guy from that night. It was about me, about my own value and dignity. I couldn't shake the feeling of shame and regret that had overwhelmed me since then, couldn't quiet the voice in my head that said I deserved more.
"Why am I so upset about what happened?" I wondered, my mind filled with endless questions. "It was just sex! I know it's unlikely we'll meet again, but it's not just because of him that I'm leaving. I need to forget and consider everything."
As I struggled with my own inner conflict, my best friend reached out and put a reassuring hand on my shoulder, her touch bringing me back to reality. "Hey, it's alright," she said gently, her voice full of understanding. "You don't need to have everything sorted out right now. Just take it one step at a time, okay?"
I nodded quietly, thankful for her comforting words. With Nicole's love and support, I felt a spark of hope inside me. Maybe I didn't need all the answers now. Perhaps trusting myself and the path ahead was sufficient.