["Are you sure you're okay?"]
I just let out a small laughed at them. Aren't they tired of asking me? Do I look not okay? Isn't that obvious that I am happy? I am happy. I'm really really happy! I already here at the house. I'm done buying gifts for all of them, I just wrapping it right now. I can't help but smile all the time.
From the time I left earlier until I came back, I never took the beautiful smile off my lips. I want people to know that I'm really happy right now.
["Hoy! What the hell is happening to you?Huh?"] Anne asked, still confused.
"Ha? Sorry. Sorry." I smiled widely. I forgot, we are in video call.
["Sorry? Now, tell us what happened to you?"] Lev asked. I sat up and held my phone and stared at them.
["Yeah! You look like you're crazy, smiling alone there."] Anne said then she flipped her hair.
"Gez! Kuya Miles said to me earlier, “Okay. Take care of yourself” ackkk, my heart is jumping with so much happiness." I laughed. I also covered my face, I feel my face is getting red now.
["Really? That means, will you get along soon, then you guys will fight again."] Roxie said with a glad voice.
"You're so negative."
["Anyway, what are you doing down there?"] Alice asked. My eyes widened a bit and I immediately covered the gifts using my comforter.
"Nothing! I'm just fiddling this, my sling bag! You know," I smiled a little. "Anyway, Are you already at the airport and terminal?"
["Don't change the topic. I know, you're hiding something from us."]
"What? Hiding something? Duh! I swear, there's nothing. Look." I showed my whole bed then turned it back to my face.
The side of my lips rose up. ["Fine! Anyway, Alice and I are waiting for our flight,"] Lev said. I nodded.
["Anne and I are also waiting for the bus to be full."] Roxie said as she looked outside the bus.
"Okay. So, see you tomorrow." I gave them a flying kiss before I ended the call.
They're a bit annoying! I told them that Claire and I would take them to the terminal and airport, but they said “Don't do it. We're fine.” because they will bother us. We're all friends, so they will never look like bothering us.
I pouted and shook my head and then I decided to call Luke, videocall. An expected, he answers immediately.
"Hey! I miss you!"
["I miss you too."] He said with a low voice. He looks sleepy. His hair is a bit messy. His eyes are closed a little.
"What's wrong, babe?" I asked worriedly.
He sighed. ["I've been awake all night until earlier in the morning, waiting for your call. But you didn't."]
My eyes widened a bit and looked away. Is that why he looks sleepy because he waited for my call all night? God! Why did I forget to charge my phone immediately yesterday?
"I'm sorry. I forgot to charge my phone, I just found out that it was already low when I went to sleep because I would have called you but it was already low. I'm sorry."
["It's okay. I'll just go to sleep now and then I'll call you later, and you have to answer that, Okay?"] I smiled and nodded before he ended the call.
I took a very deep breath before placed my phone on the side table. I just kept wrapping my gifts for them. And about the gifts for my friends, I'll give these to them when they come back here. And for Luke, I'll give this at the new year.
Until I finished wrapping the presents, I was still smiling. And I also feel my lips and cheeks are getting numb now. I sighed. I immediately fixed my things when I heard a knock. I took a deep breath and then opened the door with a smile.
My eyes widened a bit and my smile slowly faded because of his serious and dark expression. "K-kuya," I whispered.
"We are going to eat dinner. Go downstairs." He left after he told me that. What is his problem? His baritone voice sounded mad!
I closed the door and went into the bathroom to take a bath. I didn't notice that it was going to be dinner, and it was going to be night. I was about to finish wrapping the presents but there's still tomorrow, so that's okay.
When I finished fixing myself, I went downstairs. Then I saw Claire, Kuya, Trixie and Manang, of course, they're eating dinner. They didn't even wait for me.. I smiled bitterly.
I just sat down next to Claire and eat quietly. I don't want to interrupt them but the quietness around us is too much. So, even though that I'm feeling nervous right now, I decided to ask kuya's crazy question.
"K-kuya? Are we... in good terms now?" I looked down because they suddenly stopped eating and looked at me like I said something not good.
"What?"
I looked up. "I mean, you told me earlier that I'll take care of myself..." His brows furrowed. "...so I assume that you already f-forgive me, t-that you are not mad at me anymore." he stared at me for a moment before shook his head.
"That's ridiculous." He stood up and left the dining without looking at us, especially at me.
T-that means, he still doesn't forgive me? Is he still mad at me? I let out a very deep breathe and looked down. How pathetic I am! This is so embarrassing! Why else would I hope he would forgive me. I just assume.
I stood up and went to my room without saying goodbye or goodnight to them. When I got to my room, I immediately lay down and buried my face in the pillow and then cried. I said I was used to this, but I couldn’t help but get hurt. Every time that he treat me like this, I cry, a lot, I cry like there's no tomorrow. It hurts.
I immediately sat and wiped my tears when I heard my phone rang. I saw Luke's name, he was calling, good thing is not a video call. I took a deep breath before answer it.
"Hey!"
["Babe, are you going to sleep?"]
I giggled. "Yes but you called so I'll not." I wonder why he asking me like that.
I heard him sighed. ["Okay. I just want to say goodnight and see you in our dreams."] I chuckled.
"Then, see you in our dreams. Bye!" I ended the call after that. I am so lucky that I have him. He always makes me smile in his simple gestures, he always makes me happy. Hopefully we last longer and hopefully he really is the one for me.
Then I decided to sleep, so that I don't cry anymore. I promise to myself now that I will never cry again about this. I'll just waste my tears because no matter how many times I cried, kuya would never forgive me. And that’s what I’m going to imprint on my brain from now on!
I'll just focus my attention on the upcoming Christmas. Then I will finish wrapping the gifts tomorrow. And I will buy some circle fruits the next day. And then, I will clean my room the next day. Well, Isn't so great, right? I want to be happy on Christmas day, of course I will also help Manang cook meals on the 24th, it's Christmas eve, right?
And then, when the Christmas Eve came, I feel so excited. I will receive a gift again. I wonder when Kuya has a gift for me, I hope so, but in case he has nothing gift for me, I don't care. I shouldn't expect that anymore.
"Hey! Hey! What's up?" I turned to the person who had just entered, actually there were many of them, my older brother met them.
"Hey bro! Let's go to the pool," kuya's answered.
The man laughed. "Don't be excited, Miles. Why don't you introduced us to your younger sisters? Hmm?"
"Fine! Let's go."
When they're in front of us, I and Claire looked at each other and shook our head. I stopped eating and looked down. My older brother introduced Claire first, then Trixie and Manang, and me, he didn't introduce me to his friends. Is this how he dislikes me?
I heard the man chuckled. "How about... this girl, beside Claire?" The man asked. When kuya didn't answer, I stood up and faced them.
"I'm Blaire, twin sister of Claire. It's nice to meet all of you." I started. I looked at the man standing to my right. I had not noticed him earlier, but because he was let out a small coughed, I looked at him.
My brows furrowed when I looked directly into his eyes. He's familiar. But I don't remember where I first saw him. His eyes widened a bit, he slowly approached me, he looked at my lips. What's wrong with this guy?
"Zab! Don't you recognize me?" The side of his lips rose. Oh my god! What the hell?
"Blue? Am I right?" My lips slowly formed a smile, but not that wide. Si Blue, he was the one who fell on the ground last time in SBC, the one who I kissed.
"Did you know each other? How?" Kuya suddenly asked between us.
Blue looked at Kuya "Yes bro! I also can't believe this." he chuckled. I just smiled.
"It's really you! Wait." He looked at kuya. "Is she really your sister? Huh?"
Kuya rolled his eyes. "Unfortunately, yes!" My smile slowly faded but I quickly smiled again when Blue looked at me.
"Unfortunately? Tsk! You're so mean. She's nice and sweet you know! She's good at kiss-ouch!" I immediately stepped on his foot and pressed him to stop speaking.
"Whatever!" Kuya looked at me. "And you, go upstairs and lock yourself inside your room, or maybe, just leave, we don't need you here." He left after he said that. I sighed.
Blue looked at me as his brows furrowed, maybe confused because of kuya said to me. Ugh! I get used to it! I just smiled at him and went upstairs. Maybe, I'll just sleep.
But before I could finally enter my room, someone grabbed my arm to stop me. I looked at whoever stopped me, oh, it was just blue.
"Why? Do you need anything?" I asked but he didn't answer, he didn't take his eyes off me.
"Can we talk for a moment?" He asked so I smiled and nodded.
We went to the Veranda just near my room, where I could see the pool and the people having fun there. They had so much fun, and Claire was there too. I took a deep breath before looking at blue.
"What do you want to talk about?" I started.
"About you and your brother. Why is he acting like that to you earlier?" He looked at me intently. I raised my brow at him.
"Why do you have to ask? You don't need to know about that. You're out of whatever my brother and I are going through." I was about to leave when he suddenly stopped me again.
"Blaire. I just want to know because I might be able to help you." I looked at him. And I'm sure he will never stop asking me.
"Fine! This is all I can say... He's mad at me! He doesn't like me! I'm a bad luck for him! And I have imprinted in my brain that he will never forgive me. I accept that and I will never hope again. Okay?"
I left and went straight to my room and stretched out on my bed. Why did he have to intervene? He's out of our problem.
Time had passed, but I couldn't sleep, so I decided to just leave here, I took a bagpack and put the things I needed then left. Good thing, they're not around, everyone was in the pool.
I didn't use the car own by me and Claire. I just left my gift for them under the Christmas tree. I just walked to the jeepney and went straight to the cemetery to visit grandma and spend Christmas there. This is my only choice for now.
I smiled when I already in front of the grave of my grandmother. "I'm here again, lola. But... for now, I'm alone."
I sat down and put the flowers down. "Flowers po for you. I saw someone selling flowers while I was walking here, so I bought you one."
I sighed. "I don't want you to see me cry, lola. So, let's just be happy and spend Christmas together. I know you won't refuse me, right? And I know, it's already late but, even just now." I chuckled. I know my grandma, she is so protective.
It's already 11:55 pm. 5 minutes to go and it's Christmas. And then, after 5 minutes, here we go.
"Merry Christmas, lola!"
That was so fun. Here I am in front of my grandmother’s grave, alone, pretending to be happy. Somehow, I was happy because I spend my Christmas with my grandma. I also noticed my phone from my side, someone texted me, I did not even bother to read it. I don't want to be there, in the house, I will not be happy if I am there.
After a few minutes of talking to my grandmother. I decided to go home, but not to the house. Just like I said, I don't want to be there. Besides, I'm pretty sure that my older brother also doesn't want me to be there. I know him well!
When I was in front of the condo door, I took a deep breath then took the key from my bag. I immediately lay down on the bed when I entered Luke's room. Yes, I am here in Luke's condo. That was so tiring!
I took my phone and texted Luke that I would stay here in his condo for a while, he immediately replied. "Sure! I hope when I get back, you will still be there." I could not reply and I just smiled.
"Goodnight self, I hope my day will be good tomorrow." I closed my eyes and fell asleep.