I know this is stupid but I still waited for him, my doom. Yes, he is my doom because nothing gets to my head when it comes to Ezra. I don't know when he became my life or a reason to breathe but he became everything to me. Some may say it is insanity to think like this or some may think that I am obsessed with Ezra but I don't heed to those words or thinking.
I changed my clothes into PJs and hid that dress and chain at the last corner of my wardrobe so I can not see it and get reminded of my humiliation. I am not crying for him, no I am not that weak to very for someone. I am much stronger than that.
I lay on my bed thinking about today's event and how they were both looking like a happy couple and how I didn't see an ounce of guilt on Ezra's face when he kissed me.
Ugh, that Damn kiss! I am trying to push that thought from my head but I am unable to do that. Why did God choose every single bad thing and bad luck for me?
I received a text from Joanna that she has reached home safely and asked how I am doing. What did I tell her? That I am embarrassed by myself because I trusted Ezra like a fool and accepted everything? For now, I just pretend nothing happened and everything is fine.
I am brought back to my thoughts with the sound of window creaking and I know what is that and precisely who is that.
It's none other than Ezra Irwin who is trying to break into my room through my room's window. It is not new for him, he always does this.
" What do you think you are doing?". I scowled at him.
" What did it look like? I am trying to come through the window." I said it as an obvious and normal thing to do.
" I can see Ezra but what are you doing here in my room at this time?" He is testing my patience.
He scoffed like he had heard an absurd thing, did he think that it was okay to humiliate me and then come back to me? Am I that easy? This is my fault that I have given him that power to walk all over me again and again and again.
" you haven't asked me that in these years, then why now baby girl?" Hmm?" His jaw was clenched so hard that I am afraid he is going to break his jaw.
" Ugh, why are you so annoying? Can you please leave?" I sighed, getting up from my bed, trying to make him leave me alone.
" Why?" Did he have a memory loss or what? Why the hell is asking me why? Okay, if he wants to know the reason or reasons then I will give them to him.
" You are asking me why? Ezra! Seriously? Did you bang your head on something? That you didn't remember anything?" I stood in front of him folding my hands hiding my anger. I don't want to explode right now.
" That was not something you should think about Faye." His nerve, how could he take that so easily.
" Don't tell me that you gave me that dress knowing that you are going to give the same to her," I yelled, tears streaming down my face. How could he say that!
" Fay! Why are you thinking so much about it? It's just a dress….." I cut him off with a scoff.
" It's just a dress, Ezra? I don't care about the dress, what I care about is that you gave me that dress and that is more important than the dress. You won't understand." How can he easily break my heart into pieces with his words, didn't I mean something more to make me feel special?
" You are misunderstanding everything Fay, let me explain." He started but I don't want to listen to his bullshit. I am done with everything.
" No, don't! I am done with this. So, please leave." I turned around not wanting to see his face anymore. If I am still facing him then it will make me soft and make me forgive him like always but I don't want to do that so easily from now on.
" I am sorry Fay, please!" He is pleading now? For what? If I hear another word from him then I don't know if I control myself.
" For what Ezra? For the dress? Or?" I stopped midway because it is becoming so hard to talk while crying. I am choking on my words.
" Shhh, please don't cry baby girl. I am so sorry, so sorry shhh don't." He suddenly hugged me from behind, making me cry more.
" It's okay, please don't cry. I am sorry, sorry baby girl." I can hear hurt and sincerity in his voice while he is apologizing.
"Why Ezra? Why? You always confuse me, why? I didn't sign up for this."
" I know, I am sorry baby girl please stop now I can't see you cry. Please!" He hugged me even tighter, making me forget everything and just stay in his arms.
He turned me towards him slowly, my head still facing down. I am ashamed of myself for crying in front of him. Showing him my weakness. I should whack myself on my head to behave properly.
" I didn't give it to her baby girl, I don't even know how she wore the same dress as yours. I promise." I can see guilt in his eyes, guilty for making me cry and hurting me. Those eyes are my doom, he can easily turn me towards him with his eyes.
" It's okay, I understand," I whispered.
" If it is still bothering you then I will buy you another dress and I will order them to prepare only a single piece for my baby girl." He titled my head up, urging me to look into his eyes and see his sincerity and I can see it and feel it in his words.
" No, I don't want anything. Let it be. I am not sad anymore." I don't like it when we fight, it is a very rare thing but still, I don't like fighting with him.
" Okay then, I think we have some unfinished business and we should resume it." He started pulling me closer to his body.
" I don't think so!" I said, narrowing my eyes and glaring at him jokingly.
" umm, hmm?" He hummed, tucking my hair behind my ear.
" Can I remind you what we have to resume? Hmm? I whispered huskily in my ear before leaving feather kisses on my ear and slowly moving towards my neck.
"E...Ez.Ezra!" I suffered breathily, feeling heat pooling below and tingles shot up all over my body.
" Hmm? What baby girl? Do I remind you?"
"Umm?" I don't know what to answer. My brain is just blank and I am only feeling his kisses on my neck and shoulder and his warm body attached to mine without any gap between us.
" Just say yes? Or No? Baby girl." He muttered slowly before kissing my chin and pulling my head towards his face.
" Y….ye...yesssss." I breathed out the word which was banging in my head to come out of my mouth so desperately. I am feeling like I was in a desert where there is no water and I am thirsty for it.
Ezra didn't need any more answers, he ducked his head low and captured my lips like a hungry man, and started feasting on them.
I am wet with need and my toes are curling on their accord and I don't have any control over my body anymore. I am not going to stop Ezra if he wants to do anything with me. We are not just friends at this moment, we are Fay and Ezra who are desperately longing for each other.
It's going to be a very long night.