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Chapter 3 A Brother's Desire

       The morning sun peeped through my windows and penetrated the room through my torn curtains. 
    I opened my eyes and turned over to where my alarm clock was kept– the piece of shit was set to go off one hour earlier, and it didn't. 
     I knocked it off the table near my bed and when it fell down, there were many alarm clocks lying hopelessly on my floor, and they were just as hopeless as I was, and I for one, had no idea of how to fix the parts of an alarm clock together. 
   I raised up my head and moved to get out of my bed and when my foot met the floor, I fell down, hitting my face on the Godforsaken bed's frame. I forgot that my room was as bad as hell, though I hadn't been there… yet.  
   I reached for the door and threaded carefully, watching each step as I went, so as not to fall for the traps of the room, on the floor. 
  The pavement wasn't looking great so there were multiple holes, almost all around the floor and if I mis-stepped, I was either going to end up lying flat on the ground with a bleeding nose or I would end up having my toe broken. 
  And when I successfully made it out of the room, I met yet another threat– the one that really needed bending to its will.
   I walked down the stairs and my stomach grumbled at the scent of a sweet fragrance, but at that moment, it was rather toxic. 
   I ran my hands through my stomach and exhaled deeply. 
    "Thank God that wasn't hunger… I hope so." I said to myself and when I reached to the sitting room I came upon a figure about 5ft8 tall standing in front of the big mirror in one corner of the room. 
     He turned around when he heard footsteps approaching behind him. His smile was precious and his face brightened at the sight of me. 
   "Hey Morning!" He cheerfully greeted me, buttoning up his shirt and then he paused halfway, I looked directly at his chest and my eyes met his yummy chest which was tempting enough, but I wouldn't submit to it, not when he was my cousin. 
   He was at ease for a moment and when hee caught me looking at HIm, it was enough to jump to a conclusion. 
  And he left it open, but I took my eyes off him to look around the room. 
    Pascal was a sweet and extraordinary guy, he had this outstanding slim but athletic body which made him awesome. 
   He had the most beautiful dimples I've ever seen when he smiled from his heart. 
    He was just as young as I was, and had only his work to take care of.
   Pascal had been hitting on me, making advances, and I was always giving him red lights whenever he tried. 
    There was no way I was going to end up in bed with my cousin, and I always wondered why he would be hyper-fantasizing. 
  And again, my stomach made the same grumbling sound again which made me wince a bit. 
   "What is it?" Pascal asked, utterly concerned. 
   "Nothing" I throwed off the reply quickly, trying not to meet his eyes. 
   "If you say so—"
  "Yes I say so" I throwed in another reply with my arms at my back and my hands coupled together. And I fixed my face on the floor. 
  He didn't know what to say again, but just let out a puzzled chuckle. My stomach grumbled again and immediately sent the words through my stomach avenue to my mouth's bus stop. And the bus moved out immediately. 
   "What's with your perfume!?" I didn't even know I said that until after a moment and a rather confused look on his face. 
  "What's wrong with the perfume? You don't like it?" He asked, disturbed and sniffing his shirt.
   And I really didn't like making someone feel bad about what they wore, or their perfume or even what they ate, Pascal especially. 
   "No not at all, I was just curious haha I mean, you just dressed up, sprayed perf and not going anywhere."
  "Oh yea…?" And he cheered up immediately which made me feel fine. 
   "Yeah" I added, smiling with him. 
   "Well, I'm not going anywhere alright, but…" 
   "But what?" I jumped in
  "I … I just wish someone would go out with me or take me out or something haha" he said in a hasty voice, and I put up a fake smile. 
   "Oh really?" 
   "Yeah" he answered hopefully. 
   "Good luck with that cuz" I said and turned around, and exhaled at my freedom. 
  I didn't want to look at his face at that moment, because I knew for a fact that it wasn't going to look too good. He wasn't going to feel good either, but not looking at his face was better.
  He sat down on the cushion chair and I heard him let out a frustrating sigh. 
   I walked over to the kitchen feeling hopeful. And when I opened the old fridge on top of the kitchen's marbled cabinet, my stomach was frustrated, and it grumbled annoyingly that It stinged and I winced again, this time audibly. 
   I held my stomach and didn't hear any word from Pascal from the sitting room. 
  But he spoke after a while, he really cared, and I could tell he was trying not to show that he cared, but it was just as if he had to. 
  "Arianne, are you okay?" His voice echoed from the sitting room. 
  "Yeah I'm fine!" I yelled out. 
  Then, I realized why my stomach had been grumbling, it wasn't because of his perfume, it was because of hunger. And there was nothing in the kitchen. 
    I wept secretly inside, and when I closed the fridge's door, I jumped at the sight of Pascal who was standing there like a ghost. 
   "Damn it Pascal! You scared the hell out of me" I said, holding my heart with my hands.
  He chuckled and shook his head. I didn't want to let him know that I was hungry, but the next thing I said, didn't agree. 
  "Where is Mom?" I asked him to quickly change the topic. 
  "She left early in the morning, said she got some stuff to take care of," he reluctantly answered. 
  "Oh really?" I said, slowly waking out of the kitchen, and in no time I saw myself sitting down on one of the cushion chairs with the television remote in my hand. 
   He came out after me, like someone who was tired and kept looking at me. "What?" I asked, when his gaze became unbearable. 
  "Why aren't you seeing me?" He asked, in a low soft tone. And I put the remote in my mouth, clinging to it with the tip of my canine tooth, and with an expression that showed confusion. 
  "You went to work yesterday right?" I quickly changed the topic. I was really hoping that I wouldn't let him know that I was hungry, but my stomach couldn't tarry any longer, so I had to beat around the bush a little before cutting the stubborn grass– he won't see it coming. 
   "Yes, why?" he asked with a suspecting face. 
   "Nothing" I replied in a low soft tone as well. With a little shrug. 
   He never said a word again, but sat down in the cushion chair facing mine. And rested his face on his palms watching the tv with me.
  I swear, I didn't even know which channel I tuned in or what the program was. Hunger is a bastard. And my eyes were already turning. 
  "So, about your job…" I said, adjusting myself on the chair, looking at him as if I wanted to have a serious talk with him.
  "What about my job?" 
  "Yeah about your job. I mean, right so there was this debate of sort in college sometime, and… yeah, like, it was like people normally get paychecks on Fridays" I then paused, and my eye met with his "right?" I finally landed!
  "Arianne you're hungry aren't you?" I had hoped he wouldn't figure it out so sharply, but I did a great job in concealing it. I tried, I really did. 
  "I—" and he cut in 
 "All you had to do was ask. You're just as prideful as your Mom, you wouldn't ask for something when you don't have it" he snarled. 
  Yeah, even if as an insult, I deserved it, and my Mom deserved it too, very much. I nodded my head and shrugged and looked away to the tv. 
  "Come on, go change your clothe, let's go eat" 
Those words, especially the last, pierced through my skin, through my bones, and went through my intestines and caused jubilation in there. My heart itself was Merry and it appreciated the ear for hearing it. 
 I jumped out of the cushion chair immediately to go and change my clothes, but she had to spoil the mood. 
  "But Arianne… " and I turned around
 "You still haven't answered my question." I was confused, I really didn't know what he was talking about, and he didn't wait for me to figure it out. 
  "Why aren't you seeing me?" He asked, in a faint tone. 
   I was immediately weakened, and the joy I had just gotten was gone. 
  "But—" 
  "But what Arianne? What? We live under the same roof, we see each other all the damn time. And I try as much as possible to look good, smell good, be cool, make my hair, do good by you…" he said with a chuckle.  
   I rushed at him and wrapped my arms over his shoulder and brought his head to my chest, I held him in the most loving and comfortable way. 
  "... Still you wouldn't notice me. " He concluded. 
  "You know I hate to see anyone I love hurt, especially you. Please just leave this matter alone, you are my brother, I , I don't know how that is going to be possible. Yea you're great, and more. And I would be a liar if I said I don't wish that we weren't brother and sister"
  "Am I? I'm not asking you to be my girlfriend, I , I just need a girl in my life, I need a romantic relationship. I want to wake up each day knowing that I have someone I call mine, someone who really loves me, someone who really cares. I want to wake up to good morning texts, or love poems. And I need someone who I would have a good time in bed with, I'm sex starved…" When he said that, I slowly left him and shifted. 
 And just then, a knock at the door interrupted. Or should I say, saved me. 
  "I'll check the door" he stood up and went for the door. And as usual, we normally open the door halfway to see who it was, and if they were strangers we wouldn't allow them to come until all necessary requirements are met. And when he opened the door halfway, I knew it was a stranger. 
  "Hey good day" the stranger greeted. I looked at the clock and It was already 12pm. 
  "Same. Who are you?" 
  "Don't you know? Is this a joke or did Arianne asked you to do this?"
  "And who are you looking for?" 
  "Arianne" 
  "Oh"
  "Is she around?"
  Pascal didn't answer but looked at me with a jealous face and I wondered why. 
  "What ?" I asked
  "Matt Jones is looking for you," he said with an expressionless face. 
  "Matt?" I asked again, because there was no way, Matt would come looking for me, at least not for good. 
 I was surprised though. And started thinking on what to do, but I had to be sure. 
 "What's he wearing?" I asked Pascal, who probably thought I was making him feel like I can't love him because there was someone way better than him.
 "Yeah. Sounds like your type of man" he replied reluctantly, not even looking at me. 
  It was really Matt!
  "Damn tell him I'm not around!" I whispered
 "Huh?" He probably thought that it was just an act up. And when Matt said something again, I rushed to the door and it forcefully closed. 
   "What the hell is he doing here?" I said breathing heavily, that rush was dangerous for my stomach. 
   Pascal stood aside, struck with utter confusion. "What's this about?" 
   "Nothing serious, haha" I said with a chuckle. 
   "But you don't want to see him?"
   I answered with a shrug. And then he took some steps backwards. I scanned through his face and it was beaming sadly with disappointment. 
  "That's it. That's how you chase people away from you, even your Mom." And then he walked away. 
    I was left with the words echoing painfully in my ears. 

Book Comment (12)

  • avatar
    Ling Caayaman Dagasdas Ranises

    Nice

    01/04

      0
  • avatar
    SegayoMercy

    nice story

    23/03

      0
  • avatar
    Jan Ryl Cos

    literal na liget

    11/03/2023

      0
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