A part of me however, felt like I had been saved from having sex with my cousin, and the other part of me felt like killing reality and going back to the fuck. But, I wished it was real, because it was sweet!
"So…" slhe continued.
"Who's the lucky guy?" He asked, my face showed nothing but a puzzly sketch.
"Lucky guy?" I chuckled.
"Yes Arianne. Who were you dreaming of? Or should I say, lucky girl?"
"Umm, I could be having sex with a demon or something" I shrugged.
"You believe in that bullshit? Ain't nothing like that sweetheart, is just the work of your mind. It produces someone, and makes you have sex with them, while in reality you come?"
I bounced on his theory, and was glad he didn't continue with the lucky guy and lucky girl thingy.
"Aren't you going to work?" He asked as he opened the door, holding the handle as the door opened halfway.
"Right. That's what everyone cares about, work, work, not my studies. Work, so that I would always see that son of a bitch that calls himself my husband. I said with a sigh.
He shook his head and was about to close the door behind him. And when I called him back, with the whole cousin romance in my mind.
"Pascal"
"Yeah?" he shook in her head.
"I love you" I said, for the first time in years. But it didn't really make a big impact, it wasn't romantic, it sounded vague, but I needed to tell him that and he had been longing to hear those words from me.
He stared at me for a while, and gave a comforting smile, which pierced through my heart, with a tickle.
He closed the door and I dropped my back on the bed, springing up immediately after, to get ready for work.
****
Since it was the beginning of a new week, the company was filled with clean, and seemingly new, gloomy faces– most of them.
The interns office in particular, had it's girls emerge with new hairstyles, some with the former, but nicely combed and packed, and had it's few guys with clean new cuts, and neatly ironed clothes, well dressed, and attractive, excluding me. But, other than that, I was always attractive.
I was in my normal place at the very end of the office with my Cravely desk, peeping through the window, watching sunlight fill the air, while the warm air trapped the noises from corrupting my ears.
I watched people pass by, some bristly walking, some lackadaisical, and the sounds of their laughter and conversations, whispered and audible, became distant and faded into the air.
I wasn't in the moment, but not until someone sat beside me pulling down the balance of the seat with their weight.
They drew closer and I felt a warm breath around my face and neck, and when I felt the sensation of a soft cheek and lips, I pulled her away, and drew back my head, holding her hands away.
"What the fuck are you trying to do?" I asked in a serious tone.
"Isn't it obvious? Trying to kiss you of course" She snarled and freed her hands and bounced back on the seat.
"Halen, what happened yesterday was a —"
"Wasn't a mistake. Hell yeah, it happened, live and direct, and you were damn good, even though you pretended not to know what you were doing."
"I really didn't know, haven't done it before, maybe I have a potential of satisfying women in bed" I added. Thinking a bit about it, and getting back to the moment.
I never stopped thinking how we ended up here. I never wanted this, it couldn't be a good thing? I had never felt anything to talk of sexual feelings for a girl. I was changing, real quick.
"Whatever, it was a mistake."
"Aren't they all mistakes?" She said, I didn't want to start dragging it with her, I didn't want to hear her say more, and have her win the argument.
"Now I think about it, aren't you feeling somehow? Maybe? About you and Matt, I really thought much of him, but now, sorry to say, he might be almighty, but guy's pathetic…" there was no way I would end up with him, I deserved so much more, I thought.
"Hmm, now I think about it as well, I'm sure he would love threesomes, any day and anywhere" she bit her lips seductively, and winked repeatedly.
"No way! I'm not so vile like you, I'm good. You do your thing" I jovially retorted.
"Yeah, I love him and we will do our thing all the damn time… " She started caressing my laps.
"And I will call you whenever I need you…" she quickly slid to my undies, my eyes widened, and I removed her hand. She smiled like a witch.
"You see, you want to taste me, you're getting wet with a touch from me. Is mine, Arianne. Is mine to enjoy. And you will give it to me someday, you will see." She licked her lips, while I stared at her wondering what was with her. I shook my head, and chuckled. Absolutely short of words.
But I had to gather enough strength to make my intentions clear, and it seemed that she was manipulating me as well.
"Look, Halen. I don't know how we got here, but I'm telling you, you and I…" I shook my head. "This isn't right, and never will be. I'm not into girls, even if I was, definitely won't be you. So, please, stop trying to make my life more complicated, uneasy and uncomfortable than it had been.
I couldn't even hide my weakness. She would always prey on my weakness.
She chuckled, like I was a mad woman, talking bullshit. "You and Matt's relationship—" she paused. "Do you even have a relationship?" She asked with a chuckle.
"It's more complicated than you think" I replied unwillingly.
"Do you think Matt loves you? Keep dreaming—"
"Who says I need his love?!" Halen was doing what she did best to me; piss me off.
"I'm a woman too, and I can read you like an open book. Matt has a lot of women in his life, you know who he won't even look at? You. Even though you are literally husband and wife, you're freaking lonely, and I know that hurts you, a lot…" she whispered into my ears.
Whatever she was trying to achieve, it was working. I didn't know what to feel, bad, in pain, or just nevermind? How could she want me and still make me feel bad and hurt? Maybe it was a trait in the Jones family.
I looked out of the window and inhaled the air of enchantment for the body. She looked around the class and saw Kale get up from his seat with project books in his hands, probably about to leave the office to work privately.
Halen tapped me and when I turned around, she said "and talking about love…" I looked at Kale, he was cool, and looked beautiful with his hair.
He was a nice guy and had a great body. He always wore a body hug which lapped his skin to show his strong biceps and tricep, and his sweet looking six packs. He had broad shoulders and was attractive enough.
"You know, I think he has been eyeing you for a while now, or should I see, give yourself a chance to be loved by such a great guy, that is, if you're lucky enough to charm him" she laughed. "Oh, he's always serious with work, as if the rest of us aren't serious…"
"Are you though?" I asked. We both knew she wasn't serious with her work anyway. She rolled her eyes on me and hissed.
"And talking about being serious… you and your puppets don't fail to destroy my stay here, and my works… and just so you know, I haven't forgiven and forgotten." I reminded her, she looked at me, and for a moment she seemed like she felt sorry. But she burst into a mild laughter.
"Hey puppets haha, my puppets indeed" she got up and left the seat, as if nothing happened.
"You're lucky you don't take drugs" I muttered.
Kale walked out through the door, and I got up to follow him. What could go wrong?