Genealogy
I had to pause. Not because he threw a tidbit of highly interesting information so casually, but because it sounded ludicrous. And perverted.
“Like, you mean like who had… relations with who?”
“Yes, an’ their records are quite extensive. Royals don’t know ‘bout them until they’re needin’ their ‘elp.”
“That’s absurd! People whose only purpose is to write down who the king or queen beds? That’s going to cost more than,” I caught myself and lowered my voice, “whatever the guild needs.”
“Not only who they bed, but who beds the ones the kin’ or queen bedded after they’ve been, well, bedded. For a time.”
“That’s even more expensive! What if the king has a harem?”
“Oh, they always do. Kin’s and queens.”
“What?”
“Ye find that so ‘ard ta believe huh, Jorj?”
“Well, I…”
Yes, I found it so hard to believe.
“’snot forbidden. My folks used ta ‘ave them. I almost ‘ad one.”
“Almost? Just almost?”
“I’s plannin’ on it, fer sure. I’s gettin’ tired o’ always beein’ told no, an’ this,” he gestured around us again, “it gets borin’. Ye knowin’?”
“It would have been a long record. Longer than your father’s,” I jested, “or mother’s for that matter.” I added. “what stopped you?”
“What in Marekata’s saggy arse d’ye mean what stopped me? There’re people watching Jorj!”
I could not help it. It was my turn to cachinnate.
“But you were a prince! Why do you care?” I insisted, unable to hold it.
“’eard there’re people like that, but I’m not fer it. ‘snot their business who I plow. I don’t care if it’s a princess or a peasant girl, or a servin’ maid, or the cook’s daughter. It’s between me an’ ‘er.”
“Did you?”
“Did I what?”
“The serving maid, the cook’s daughter?”
“Well, I-”
He joined me. We laughed till our sides hurt and our faces red, howling without a care. Litoc was banging his cup on his chair’s arm and I was bent, out of air.
“Yer funny, I’ll give ye that Jorj.” Litoc spoke when he caught his breath.
“It’s necessary, I guess. It’s just… stupid at the same time. How do you know about it? How did you know, is the right question, I guess.”
“It wasn’t by design, that’s fer sure. There was a celebration ‘ere, long time back, can’t even remember what it was fer. Plenty o’ nobles, both from ‘ere an other kin’doms. Held just outside o’ the castle.
I’ve ‘ad my fill, drunk an’ swayin’ about an’ ‘fore long, I was vomitin’. Servants wanted me to withdraw back ta the castle but I’s havin’ none of it. Stumbled around, dismissin’ my guards as I went. An’ I find myself among the bushes in the outer ward.
As I sat there, I ‘eard a ‘eated conversation about me. An I thought, I’d ‘ave them all put ta the blade fer darin’ ta even talk ‘bout me. But I can’t just do that, I needed proof. Luckily, I was already crawlin’ bein’ drunk an’ all that so I made my way closer.
Turns out, it was a bunch o’ young, well they were older than I, but there was a bunch o’ them in a table, farthest from the center. I peeked an’ recognized a some were from the archives and some from the church. An’ they were arguin’ ‘bout me, ‘bout my bein’ the only one, just like ye are wonderin’.
Now, the thin’ is, on account of my bein’ drunk, I sort of forgot why I came close in the first place. I had my back against a shrub or a tree, I don’t remember. Anyway, I just sat there, listenin’ ta them instead. An’ as they argued an’ argued there’s only one man left sayin’ I was the only child an’ there are no other children, basterds or otherwise.
That struck me odd, ye knowin’? I ‘ave thought about those thin’s too an’ I’ve always ‘eld it in my ‘ead that somewhere out there is a brother or sister basterd. This man was spoutin’ all reasons why ‘e thought I was the only one but they weren’t really standin’. But ‘e didn’t buckle. ‘e maintained it an’ fer some weird reason, I felt good ‘bout that. So good I got up, approached the table, which spooked them, and drank again till I passed out.”
“Let me guess, you had him taken?”
“What? No! what d’ye take me fer? Well, I would ‘ave if I felt bad. That’s ‘ow much o’ a basterd I was becomin’. But I felt good. So I ‘ad ‘im followed instead.”
“Of course.”
“The basterd was careful. Took many months fer ‘im ta slip up but slip up ‘e did. ‘e went ta a place ‘e ‘ad no business bein’, I ‘ad the people there watched too. One thin’ led ta another an’ there it was.
I tell ye, the old man in that ‘ut was not expectin’ me! ‘e tried ta deny it too but I told ‘im then that if I were ta walk out without knowin’ who they were an’ what their business was, or if I didn’t believe a word ‘e said, by the time I left ‘is hut, everyone we ‘ave used ta follow the trail to ‘im would be taken and tried for treason.”
“If that was your threat, why did you stop at that man? Why not wait a little more?”
“Well, it was gettin’ lon’ an’ ridiculous, even I could see that. An’ the man didn’t go anywhere but the town market. Anyone who went ta ‘is hut I ‘ad followed but it wasn’t gettin’ me anywhere by then too so I’s thinkin’ better ta just get it over with an’ walked in on ‘im.”
“And if he didn’t satisfy you, you’d have had them all arrested?”
“Probably. Who knows what an idiot prince could do. Thankfully, ‘e didn’t. Told me who an’ what they were an’ implored me ta keep it ta myself as they were only lookin’ out fer the kingdom.”
“And you believed him?”
“I didn’t. I demanded ta see proof. That’s what a royal is good at ye see, demand, demand, demand!” He repeatedly thrust an open palm forward. “’e took me ta it, right there an’ then.”
“Took you to what?”
“The records. Some o’ it anyway. Still there now, the street in Five Arches. Straight as an arrow, used ta be the biggest market that side of Osmouth. There’s a row o’ buildin’s there, ‘e took me ta one o’ them, we went up ta a ‘ealers place smellin’ of ‘erbs an’ spices but it wasn’t a ‘ealers place, not really.
She ‘ad codices there, mostly about ‘erbs, but between the pages were mentions of royal activities. I got curious an’ asked what they ‘ad on me an’ the ‘ealer there, she showed me. It was all correct.
I kept comin’ back ta that place under the guise o’ puttin’ my mind at ease, princely troubles an’ all that, but I was just there ta read what they ‘ad. By the time I was done, the ‘ealer, kind lady she was, ‘ad told me most o’ what I will learn later on. She also told me that what she ‘ad, or any o’ them in Osmouth had, only goes back as far as the beginnin’ o’ ona’s reign.”
“So…” I spoke before finishing the train of thought building in my increasingly addled brain, “they have more records… somewhere. Complete records.”
“Yes. In fact, the ones the ‘ealer had were, temporary, or was it copies? I don’t remember. I guess word o’ the prince threatening ta take them all an’ try them for treason, which is never in the favor of the persons bein’ tried, ‘ad some weight on it. They never even questioned why I wanted ta see older records. They just took me there.”
“Your cousin would say Preposterous! right about now.”
“’es really a good person, least I think ‘e is. Questionable approach ta thin’s as ye can see but ‘e ‘as a good ‘ead fer thin’s.”
“So, what did you find out?”
“That they’re old, really old.”
“Ancient old?”
“Close. Says they were founded by order o’ the third kin’.”
“Litoc, I have no idea about histories…?”
“Right, right. Course ye don’t. Why’s that again? Anyway, ‘sbout fifteen maybe eighteen kin’s back?”
“You’re a prince and you’re not sure?”
“’snot that simple Jorj. There’re are many short-lived reigns. Was even a time when there were two kin’s. Can’t remember them all.”
“A king ordered someone to make a group of people to record every person a royal plows, and to keep it secret from future royals until needed.”
“Ha. Even if the rules ta succession changes, they continue.”
“How big of an archive is that?”
“Oh, it’s huge. Larger than anythin’ I ever seen ta this day.”
“What’s the place called?”
“Ye thinkin’ o’ visitin’?”
“Just curious. Visiting won’t do me any good. I can’t read.”
“Ye can’t? Now that’s surprisin’. All these thin’s ye keep comin’ up, an’ ye can’t read?”
“I really can’t. Not Silaronian anyway.”
“The thing’s ye teachin’ the children?”
“Something I just know.”
“Ah, that again.”
“I have no other explanation Litoc, I just know what I know. Know what? Here’s a thing I know. I just thought of a name for that place! The Fields.” I said, waving my free hand in front of me.
“Why in the wavin’ waves would ye- oh!” We shared a laugh again. “Yer a real basterd, I just realized. They ‘ave no name fer that place but it’s in Silaron alright. It’s there I got the idea o’ foundin’ the guild. Went back there few times, floated the idea ta the woman in charge little by little, next thin’ ye know, the guild was born.”
“So the guild and the farmers is just one group now?”
“Ha! Farmers!” Litoc chortled, “Yes an’ no. They ‘elped, I’m sure many o’ the guild is also o’ the… farmers, in the beginnin’ that is.”
“You learn anything important while you were there?”
“Oh yes. I learned it back at the ‘ealers place. I learned that I really ‘ad no basterd siblings. I really am, just the one.”