I turned to see Christopher standing by the door with a shocked expression on his face. I could feel my head spinning as I disengaged my hands from Joseph.
"Chris.", I could not complete my words as he made his way out of the kitchen.
My heartbeat as I bit my fingertips regretting why I had to be in such close contact with Joseph. I feel so stupid for the gradual feeling I was developing for him, and how it might end up turning into a nightmare. A nightmare for both of us.
" Is he your brother? And why is he freaking out? We haven't done anything bad, have we?", Joseph stated moving close to my almost disfigured self.
"Can you at least think sometimes? We were in close contact a few inches away from each other. What do you expect him to do or think?" I asked, almost feeling pissed off
"Oh! I only wanted to clean the flour on your head", he replied, causing me to raise my brows at how great he was able to pull off his lie.
I moved out of the kitchen as I made my way to the empty bedroom. Christopher has gone out and I just hope he does not return to his cold self again.
" Don't worry, he will get back. Do tell him we never did anything wrong. Thanks for your hospitality", Joseph said, beaming with a smile which I reciprocated.
I know he was the reason why Chris is angry, but he assisted me a lot today. Not only has he offered a training service for free, but he has also explained more about catering and the baking world to me.
"Thanks for your help, I appreciate it", I replied as he nodded after which he changed back to his clothes and headed outside.
I heaved a sigh of relief as I brought out my old disties which explained everything about my attraction for the same sex. Guilt rushed down my body as I saw what I wrote after gaining admission into higher learning.
It explained some tips I should keep to while around the same sex.
*Try to avoid too much eye contact or close contact with the same sexes.
*Be natural but avoid raising your hands in mid-air in an effeminate manner as this might arouse the same-sex attraction
*Learn to control your feelings by spending more time on other things.
I closed my book, discovering how I hardly stick to the rules I made except the third one. I still find it difficult to control myself, especially around the same sexes. The funny part is I try to avoid them like plague.
Joseph does not seem to be on the same page as me as I feel he might be the next victim in falling for me. I can't just tell him to avoid me without any tangible reason(s). Joseph is also persistent and won't take NO as an answer.
As for Chris, I could feel my inner self telling me he is hiding something from me. I could feel my body tensed up at the thoughts of my feelings. Each day reminds me of the forbidden liking I have for the same sex. And to be honest, I am beginning to fall for Joseph.
Night came as I arranged the peanuts in different packaging nylon. Tomorrow will be a good day to make some sales. I switched on my phone connecting the data, as a message popped on my phone.
*Hi handsome
I saw the message as I squinted my eyes taking note of the profile picture on her Whatsapp.
*Hey
I replied, figuring out who the person was, Josephine, the twin sister of Joseph.

We continued chatting as she requested we go out on a date which I declined politely. She asked why I was rejected but I explained that I am not interested. We continued chatting for close to an hour, as she kept asking me different questions, my likes, dislikes, and so on.
She was more like her twin brother, sassy including the fact that she is flirty, which I was able to respond to less flirty. I don't like the vibes with her, as she seems rather too exposed for her age. She was able to wear away time as I waited for his return.
The door opened revealing Chris as I dropped my phone logging out of my Whatsapp page.
" Chris, I'm sorry for not heeding your warning. He helped me with my peanuts today. I don't know how I was in such compromising contact with him", I spewed out not sure whether I was making sense with my words.
Chris has been a very good person to me. Even though he had feelings for me, he never tried to make me give in to my cravings. He maintained physical distance and did the right thing by advising me not to give in to my feelings. Even though he is a little bit strict, I still have respect for him.

He moved closer to me, his gaze on me, as tears welled up in my eyes. I have been feeling a lot of emotions today. From the various ways, I had developed feelings for the same sex right from my high school. I should not have read my old diaries, as it only opened the wound I thought had healed when I discovered my feelings for the same sexes.
Not only was I developing feelings for the same sexes, due to hormone fluctuations, the same sexes can also get attracted to me. My facial features, body features and voice sound like a girl which paved the way for opening the new course of feelings in others.
"Do you know why I never stopped working part-time even though I needed to help you during this crazy feeling life of yours?', Chris demanded, switching on the solar bulb in the room which brightens up the room.
I turned to see tears brimming in his eyes.
"You don't want to add more burden to your parents by requesting pocket money", I explained, giving out the exact words he told me when I told him to quit his part-time job.
Striking the pen in his hand on the table, he turned to look at me. He made bold steps to my side, as he held my hands, gazing intently at me.
" No, that was not the reason. The main reason is that up till now, I still have feelings for you", he said, as my mind swerved in reverse.
It has been months ago right, he can't be telling the truth. Silence dropped in between as I tried to think back to Chris' words. He is joking, right? I mean, it has been months and his feelings must have faded.
"I know I should not have told you but I can't help it. I kept avoiding you by focusing on my part-time job, but the truth was that I was sinking in the farther I was away from you", he stated enunciating each word as I stayed glued to the same position, trying to take in his words, which seem quite false to me even tho it was stark truth.
" I have been selfish too for telling you to stay away from boys. It wouldn't have been the best advice I was supposed to give. I hope you forgive me for being strict", Chris requested, greasing my palms softly, bringing me out of my thinking world.
I kept thinking of the right words to use, but my mind was blank. He is still attracted to me, a complete disaster.
"Don't feel guilty. You are not selfish too and I don't have any fault as to why I should forgive you. You never offended me", I told him calmly, a feeling of emptiness leaving my void.
" Thank you", he said which I smiled at, forcing myself not to give in to tears.
"I have a request and please promise me you will say yes to it", he said, as I felt goosebumps fear creping to my heart.
" What is it?", I asked, having a bitter feeling in the pit of my stomach.
"Promise to agree to it. It is not something that will make you compromise your moral trained conscience", he reassured
" I promise to accept as long as it does not compromise my trained conscience", I said.
"I am going to leave this hostel for somewhere else. I need to figure out myself, and get over the feelings I have for you", he explained, my mind running wild.
" But…" the words got stuck in my throat.
"Please accept this. It is the best thing for me and probably you too", he stated looking intently at me
Maybe this is the best decision. My feelings for him are already fading but what about him. He is still attracted to me. I am so sorry for this, Christopher," I thought
"I accept", I deadpanned, not sure whether that is the best decision.
A\N: Alright my lovely readers, what do you think so far? Drop your thoughts. The next chapter(s) will be fantastic, I hope.