SCHOOL festival. Our first here in Jackson High. A few moments from now, the program will start and Becca and I will finally do our plan. The thing that we are hoping to help her get close to someone... To Nathan, to be specific.
“Gosh! I can’t wait to dance with him later!” Becca squealed, and I try to look happy for her.
Though I really felt happy helping her, I can’t help myself but to be saddened by the fact that I’m not going to dance with Nathan anymore. I wouldn’t be participating, just like Becca during our practice days.
“Are you okay?” she suddenly asked, making me come back to my senses to face her again... More like to lie again.
“Hey... Y-yeah, I’m fine, Becca. I’m just... You know. I’m nervous. I don’t know what to say to Nathan later on...”
I was half hoping that she will stop this nonsense and she will just let me dance with Nathan like how things supposed to be. But she didn’t, and she was really determined to make my bestfriend only hers.
“Okay, everyone! We are on in ten minutes! Please prepare yourselves!” Our instructor stated.
“Go team!” Scott shouted, only getting a ‘boo’ from those popular students.
We didn’t mind them. Instead, Nathan, Becca, and I cheered on our own. Until Becca nudged me, the signal I’ve been waiting for to receive.
“Wait... I think I need to use the bathroom or something...” I stated, acting like something is wrong. Well, something is indeed very wrong right now.
The instructor looked at me in confusion, before letting me go. I felt Nathan chased me, pulling my hand to ask me why, maybe.
“Hey... Are you okay?” he asked.
“I just feel like... I’m gonna throw up.”
“What?! Are you having a stage fright?”
“Nope... Just... Let me go, Nathan.”
He nodded, before removing his hands on my arms.
“Just be back in time.”
I didn’t answer him. I just ran away, hiding myself in one of the cubicles in girl’s comfort room. Surprisingly, I cried for apparently no reason. I don’t know why, but maybe because of the fact that I’m thinking how I wasted all those afternoons practicing with my bestfriend when in fact, I’m not the one he’s going to dance with today.
After about three minutes, I decided to went out as I wiped my tears away. Now it’s time for me to act sick. Though that wasn’t a problem anymore for I already look terrible right after crying. I walked towards the backstage of where the program is being held, and as soon as Nathan and Scott saw me, panic rushed through their faces.
“Nat! Are you okay? You look terrible...” It was Scott.
“Hey, watch your mouth,” Nathan scolded, looking at me with a worried expression plastered upon his face.
“I’m fine... But I don’t think I can make it and perform at the stage. I really feel sick right now...”
“Natalia? We are next. Are you okay?” the instructor asked, finally noticing what the commotion is all about.
“Yeah... But I’m afraid I can’t make it...”
“It’s fine. I wouldn’t go as well,” Nathan stated, making Becca’s eyes widen.
“No, Nathan!” I answered too quickly, only making me look guilty. “You should go on and enjoy... I can take care of myself...”
“No, Nat. It’s okay. I don’t have a pair so I guess...”
“How about me? I’d watched every practice after school so I think I can fill in... For Natalia,” Becca joined in the conversation.
“That’s brilliant, Ms. Valle. Now Mr. Brooke, go on and dance your heart out... I’ll take care of your friend. I’ll bring her to the clinic,” the instructor promised.
Nathan nodded, unsure. As our instructor assisted me to stood up properly, the emcee called our team, and Becca quickly clung into Nathan’s arms to pull him into the stage.
The music starts as soon as the freshmen stood up on there, looking energetic as ever. I wanted to joined in, but I don’t have a partner anymore. And I don’t know why I’m feeling sad, when in fact, I should be happy for Becca.
“Are you okay, Ms. Carter? Do you want me to bring you to the clinic?” the instructor asked, looking worried.
I simply nodded, for I can’t watch the wide smile plastered upon Becca’s face as she dance with my bestfriend. Is this how selfish I am? I mean... How come that I couldn’t force myself to be happy for my friends? I think it’s better if I’ll just let the instructor bring me to the infirmary. In that way, maybe I can just sleep and forget about this stupid weirdness.
“Come then... You should be careful next time, Ms. Carter. Thankfully, Becca is there to fill in your place.”
I just nodded before we started to walk towards the infirmary. When we arrived, the nurse looked at me in pity, maybe thinking how unlucky I am for ending up in here many times in a year.
She lay me down, before asking me what’s wrong. I didn’t answer her, instead, I just shook my head like nothing is so wrong after all. She then let me take a rest on the bed and I took that opportunity to get some sleep. Maybe, just maybe, if I woke up later on, I will forget about Nathan and Becca.
I don’t know how long I’ve been here, but when I woke up, I instantly check the time on the hanging wall clock by the right side of the door. It’s been two hours, and at this time, maybe the students are already starting to enjoy the different booths and stuffs. Though I wanted to join them in, I don’t want to ruin Becca’s moment with Nathan. And yeah, I still couldn’t forget about that.
“Natalia... You’re finally awake.”
I averted my eyes towards Scott, who’s now looking very depressed for an unknown reason.
“Hey... You’re here too?”
“Yeah. The instructor didn’t tell us where he brought you so I decided to come here since it’s the first place you’ll probably end up to...”
“Yeah, I guess so...” I answered, disappointed that Nathan didn’t know about that. Maybe he’s busy being with Becca right now.
“Nat... Can I ask you a favor? I really need your help about this...” said Scott, almost pleading.
I felt nervous, hearing those words coming from him. The last time I heard about that is from Becca, and it didn’t end up so well... For me, I guess. But I’m sure that Becca is enjoying it right now. I’m afraid that Scott will ask me more than that and I don’t know if I could still sacrifice myself like this one ever again.
“Scott...”
“It’s fine if you don’t want to,” he stated, avoiding my eyes before sitting on the chair next to me.
“No, no, no... Of course you can ask me anything...”
Again, I let my conscience speak up for myself without even thinking and using my brain just like what happened when Becca asked me for favor.
“Really? Thank you, Natalia. I know I can count on you...” He reached out for my hand before smiling. “I want to tell you something...”
“What is it?” I asked curiously.
“So, here’s the thing... I like Becca, so much. Even before we became a squad, I really, really, like her, Natalia...”
“W-What?” I panicked.
If he’s going to ask me to help him get close to Becca, then how about Nathan? It would be a disaster for our squad, and I don’t want to ruin our friendship... Not yet, please. We were just starting to enjoy the company of each other.
“Yeah. Could you help me get close to her? I mean... Not now... Maybe next school year? I just really wanted to be her boyfriend...”
“S-Scott...”
“I felt heartbroken seeing her so happy with Nathan... And I wanted to make her feel that she could be just like that happy if it was me... But I think she already likes someone else... Someone like your bestfriend... ”
If only love works the way how people wanted it to go, then maybe I wouldn’t be this stressed out about their love lives... I mean, Scott likes Becca while Becca likes Nathan and my bestfriend like someone else... It’s definitely a love square if there is such a thing.
“Can I count on you to help me get close to her? I mean closer than this friendship that we are already have...”
I sighed, before nodding. He jumped up and down, screaming at the top of his lungs because of joy before he hug me tightly.
“Thank you, Nat!”
“Yeah, yeah... You’re always welcome... Though I couldn’t promise that it will work out the way we wanted it to be...”
“I know... I already prepared myself for that... But I’m still very thankful for getting your approval about this. Thank you, Natalia.”
He smiled, and I did the same. Sometimes, we just need to have a will to try and do some new things even though we know that it is impossible to happen... Or maybe it couldn’t turns out into the result that will make everyone satisfied. But one thing is for sure... Not everyone needs to be equal. Sometimes, being fair is enough.