“WHAT do you mean?” he asked, confused.
“Scott... I did this. I helped Becca get that role by quitting in the drama club... Even if I already promised you that Nathan and I will going to help you instead of Becca...” I trailed off.
“What?!” he shouted, sounding furious as ever. “Now you just gave me enough reason never to trust anyone except myself.”
He shook his head in disapproval, before walking away. As soon as he vanished into my sight, I cried. I cried a lot. This is all my fault. I shouldn’t have let Becca got that chance to be with Nathan. Now our squad and friendship were completely wrecked.
I sat down at the corner, hugging my knees as I cried out loud. I don’t know what to do, and just thinking about being left out and alone again makes me really scared to the point that I don’t know if I could still face the world as same as before if ever that I loose everyone of my friends.
“Hey, Ms. Carter.”
I looked up to the owner of that arrogant voice, only to see Tyler staring down at me. I instantly wiped my tears away, not wanting him to see this vulnerable side of me.
“Are you okay?” he asked, maybe worried but I highly doubt that. “Hey... Why aren’t you answering me?” he asked again.
I hid my face using my hands, hoping that he’ll just go away and start minding his own business. But he didn’t. He just keep on asking me if I’m alright and when I didn’t answer again, he kneel down right in front of me, before removing my hands on my face.
“Stop! What are you doing? Just go away, Tyler...” My voice cracked up.
“I knew it. You’re indeed crying. But why? You already punched an asshole in the face and now you’re crying over something?”
“Why do you even care?!” I shouted right in front if his face, hopeful to the fact that maybe he’ll get annoyed and start walking away again just like what he did the last time that we had a confrontation.
“Is that a habit of yours? Pushing people away and feeling sorry for yourself all the time?”
I avoided his eyes, thinking that maybe he’s indeed right. I always caused chaos to the people I value the most and then I’ll start blaming myself for it. I felt stiffened, as he lifted my chin up just to make me look straight in his eyes.
“I’m not that rude, Natalia Carter. I know when and how to stop every time that I need to. And this... This moment is definitely one of those times...”
I looked at him in awe, still couldn’t believe at the fact that he’s talking to me like this. He then took something out of his pocket, and it’s not that long before I realized what is it. It’s a handkerchief. He reached out for my face, and I felt nervous. But I’m wrong. Maybe I judged him too early before. Because he only wiped my tears away using his handkerchief before drying my cheeks.
“There you go... Bye, Ms. Carter.”
After he did that, he stood up, before he started to walked away from my direction while carrying his handkerchief... Wet from my tears. I blinked several times, trying to process in my mind what just happened a few minutes ago. But then, after a moment, I just found myself smiling for apparently no reason. Maybe because I just realized that maybe not all bad boys are bad... Because today, I saw something good in Tyler.
So that is how that week ended. I went home, locking myself up in my room before I started doing some things... Things that could drifted my attention from thinking about my life in Jackson High. Maybe on Monday, everything is going to be just fine again.
Monday morning came. I decided not to wait for Nathan. I’ve gone to school myself, trying to avoid him for an unknown reason. Maybe because I’m starting to loose my mind.
The only person that I wanted to see and talk to right now is Scott. I wanted to explain myself and make up for something bad that I did to him. So I decided to went to the Cafeteria, for that is where Scott pretty much stays during the morning. And I haven’t gone wrong, for I saw him sitting in one of those tables while having a cup of hot noddles.
“Scott...” I called his name.
He looked up, plastering a bored expression on his face before averting his attention towards the cup of noddles on the table.
“Scott... I’m so sorry. Please let me explain... I only did that because–”
“I’m not interested.”
“Scott, please listen to me first... Becca asked for a favor and I couldn’t say no...”
“And why is that?”
He looked up, and I was dumbfounded. Should I tell him the reason why? I couldn’t do it, though. I mean, I can’t say it right in front of his face that I’m afraid to be left alone again so I decided to helped Becca instead of him just not to ruin our squad.
“You can’t answer, because you don’t even know why yourself.”
He stood up, grabbing his stuffs before walking towards the exit of the Cafeteria and down the hallways. I followed him, still wanted to explain something even though I couldn’t properly say it.
“Scott, wait...” I chased after him.
We are now at the hallways where other students can already hear our conversation.
“Scott...”
“Stop following me around, Natalia.”
“Scott, please. I just wanted to–”
“I said stop following me!” he shouted, grabbing the attention of the crowd.
They are now staring at our direction. Their eyes were like putting on judgement over me at the moment, maybe thinking that I’m stalker or something. I felt humiliated, thinking that I’d just been judge my the awful crowd. I looked down, before I found myself crying silently. When I glance for Scott, I saw guilt flashes in his eyes, though he remained quiet.
“I’m s-sorry for bothering you then...” I trailed off, before I started to walk away from that place with a heavy heart. I didn’t know that Scott could do something like this towards me. But I guess I just have to accept the surprising and hurtful reality of the world.
Lunch time. Nathan saw me, but I avoided him. I didn’t sat on the same table as him as well as Scott. The three of us are having a social distancing right now. I don’t know why I’m being like this, but maybe because I’m starting to train myself being a loner and an introverted person again.
The lunch time ended without the rest of our squad talking to each other or even greeted each other. Becca is absent, but I don’t care that much about her right now that she already got what she wanted... Get close to my bestfriend, Nathan. I’m just merely disappointed at the fact that she didn’t keep the end of her deal. Our squad has never been the same as before.
I felt saddened by that, thinking that maybe Becca planned this all along just to get close to Nathan. Maybe she just used me to get her mission accomplished. Though I’m not sure if she succeeded, either way.
“Nat! Wait for me!”
I felt Nathan by my side, and I just took a deep breath before I decided to continued ignoring him. When I didn’t answer, he opened his mouth again to talk.
“We have the same classes together, remember?” Nathan asked. “Have you already forgot about that? How come?” he added.
“I’m not in a mood for talking, Nathan.”
His eyes widen as he realized that I’m serious, for I didn’t call him by our made up nicknames.
“Are you avoiding me?”
“No.”
“Then why aren’t you talking to me?”
“I’m talking to you right now.”
“I mean, you are not saying any word towards me if I didn’t asked you or something.”
“Because I have nothing to say, Nathan.”
“Well I’ve got a lot of things to say to you! I need to explain myself! So please just let me...”
“We are just wasting our time. Forget about that. I’m not going to do this right now.”
He pulled my arms, making me stopped for a moment. He then gently pinned me on one of the lockers before he looked at me straight in the eyes. Some students are now staring at us. But I tried to remained as calm as possible. I don’t want to create another scandalous scene under my name.
“Is this about that kiss? Is that why Scott and you aren’t talking to me ever since?” I looked away, avoiding his eyes while feeling guilty as I bit my lower lip. “Are you jealous too? Just tell me, Nat.”
“I’m not, okay?!” I answered too quickly, only proving myself guilty if that was a crime.
“Well you’re acting like you are... But I already told you before. I like someone else... Someone who’s not Becca. So please stop worrying now...”
“Just let me go now, Nathan,” I blankly stated, trying to ignore his nonsense statements.
“No! You, listen to me! Haven’t you notice about anything weird between the both of us, Nat?! I mean, you know that I like someone else... And that someone was... Someone that is in front of my face right now...” he trailed off.
I blinked several times, trying to process what he’d just said. Before his words slowly sinks in, my heart skipped a beat or two. Becca is right. She knew it all along. Maybe this is the reason why everything is slowly drifting apart... Including our friendship. The dangerous and the other thing that has a forbidden rule on my manual. Love.
“I like you, Nat. I like you very much... And I’m serious about it,” Nathan stated, biting his lower lip.