Kira’s POV
I lost my appetite to eat when Vince suddenly left. Adding to that is the unexplainable tension between each of us here that I can’t understand where it is coming from.
That’s why I decided to leave as well. But it seems like I’m not the only one troubled here. Because I also noticed the concern of others.
However, I didn’t expect Mikan to join me.
Damn.
I hesitated at first. But because I didn’t want others to notice my uneasiness towards her, I just nodded and let her be.
“What is it this time?” I asked her the moment we got outside the dining hall. I kept my gaze straight ahead while walking quickly. I don’t want to be rude, but I just can’t help it right now. This isn’t like me.
I felt her shrug, her arm still clinging to mine. It seems like she doesn’t mind that I’m practically dragging her along. I also noticed the hostile glares we received from everyone we passed by. While the others started whispering to each other.
“You said you had something to do. I just want to help you with whatever it is,” she answered cheerfully.
I just shook my head. I don’t know what else to say or do with her. It seems like it doesn’t have any effect anyway. Ever since the day she kissed me, she’s often been sticking close to me.
My only mistake was I responded to that kiss. I don’t know what came over me at that time and allowed me to do that. All I know was that I’m hurt, and she’s the only one who was there for me at that time.
After that incident, I immediately explained to her that I didn’t want it and that we should just forget about what happened. Because it was obviously a mistake.
But she didn’t agree. She said she couldn’t forget what happened because it was one of the happiest moments of her life.
Since then, she became clingy. She often followed me around as if she had been doing it for a long time. Which is unusual for her.
That’s why I decided to talk to her last night. Right behind their dormitory building.
But our conversation didn’t end well. It’s like I was talking to a different Mikan last night. She’s so possessive and demanding. She even acted as if she is my girlfriend! 
I really wanted to tell her who and what I really am. Because if she ever finds out my true identity, she’ll willingly stay away from me.
But I can’t. It’s too risky.
Yes, she is our friend. But for some reason, there’s a part of me that still doubts her.
“Hey! Let’s go?”
I snapped back to my senses the moment she snapped her fingers in front of me. This made me sigh and look at her intently. She had a wide smile on her face as she looked at me. She seemed so happy and hopeful at the same time.
I faced her and firmly held both her shoulders. “Look, Mikan. I know I’ve told you about this several times already. But I won’t get tired of repeating it.” I let out a forceful sigh. “I only see you as a friend, and I know within myself that it’s all I can give you.”
Her smile slowly disappeared.
I met her eyes directly, and I could see the resentment. “I hope you understand. I’m telling you this early on because I don’t want you to expect that it could lead to something more. I also don’t want you to misconstrue the kindness I show and do for you. You’re a nice person, and you deserve to be treated better as well,” I calmly explained to her.
I was about to continue when suddenly she started crying. I was momentarily lost and didn’t know what to say anymore. Because I really hate to see someone crying in front of me. Especially if it’s a girl.
So, I panicked when her tears started flowing. One trait of mine that Vince despises is how quickly I soften whenever I see someone crying. He said I shouldn’t let my emotions take over. He even told me it’s a sign of weakness.
He would repeatedly ask me why I’m so compassionate towards people. In those moments, I could only respond with silence. Because honestly, I didn’t know why I have this soft spot for them.
I quickly embraced her and awkwardly hugged her. “Don’t cry. You can still be my friend. I’m sure you’ll find a man who can reciprocate the love you give and more than you expect. When that time comes, you’ll thank me for this and realize that what I said was right.”
I felt her grip tighten around me. I just let her be if that’s what it takes to lighten her mood even just a bit. Especially since I know that I’m the reason why she’s hurting right now.
But I couldn’t help but close my eyes when she suddenly burst into sobs. If I only had the power to erase all the pain she’s feeling right now, I would willingly bear it all for her.
“No! You’re the only one I love! I’ve been waiting for almost four years! And I’m willing to wait for another day, weeks, months, or years just for you to love me back.” Her voice broke.
I was about to speak when I opened my eyes and saw Miley looking at me intently. She forced a smile as our eyes met. At that moment, I could clearly see how sad her eyes were. Eyes that I had never seen so sad before, as they were always filled with happiness.
Even though she didn’t tell me, I could feel that she was carrying a heavy burden. She often confides in me about these things, aside from Reiri. That’s why I’m really worried about her.
She nodded at me before turning around and quickly running away.
I want to follow her and ask what the problem is, or if she’s alright.
But every time I try to ask her, she suddenly distances herself or leaves as if she’s really avoiding me.
I was about to let go of Mikan’s embrace to follow Miley, but she held on to me tighter as if she was afraid to let me go.
“Don’t leave me. I need you. And just this once, please let me feel that you love me too.”
I was stunned for a moment. I know that Miley needs me right now too. But at the same time, I just can’t leave Mikan like this. It’s so hard to be trapped in between the two of them. That’s why I really need to make a decision and do something now.
Because I know that no matter how hard I try to avoid it, someone will inevitably get hurt between the two of them.
***
Miley’s POV
I didn’t really have any intention of leaving. But when Rei suddenly stood up, I just followed her. I was really worried about her. I didn’t even notice right away that something was bothering her because I was too focused on my own problems.
But when we left the dining hall, she suddenly disappeared. I didn’t know where she went. So, I just decided to walk around and look for her. I could still feel her presence nearby, so I knew she hadn’t gone far.
However, I stopped walking when I heard someone crying and talking. I suddenly felt anxious when I heard Kira’s voice. I didn’t want to listen to whatever they were talking about or even see them. But I found myself slowly walking towards their direction.
Then everything around me suddenly stopped the moment I saw the two of them hugging each other so tightly. It felt like something stabbed my heart when I saw them in that kind of situation. Kira had never hugged me like that before. It was a protective kind of hug that seemed like he didn’t want to let go anymore.
I was startled. I felt the surge of hot tears in my eyes, threatening to spill. But I blinked quickly to hold it back, raising my gaze to meet his eyes.
I forced a smile at him before turning away and running off. I needed to get away quickly because I felt like I would break down any moment from the intense pain I was feeling now.
I looked back, hoping that he’ll follow me like he always did every time I ran away from him.
But he didn’t. He didn’t care about me that much anymore.
Because Mikan was there. He had someone else to worry about now.
That's when the tears I had been holding back finally fell. I was the one who left and ran away this time. But it felt like I was the one left behind.
I’m not numb enough to not notice the way he looks at Nics. So, I was completely taken aback when, in an instant, Mikan made an appearance.
I didn’t expect that I’m going to be like this just because of him. If only I had known that I would end up like this, I wouldn’t have allowed myself to get so close to him. I wish I had done something to stop this before my feelings became so deep.
I suddenly stopped running when someone suddenly called me. I quickly wiped away the tears that streamed down my cheeks before facing them.
“Oh, Miley. Why were you running? Is someone chasing you?” Nicole asked in surprise.
I shook my head and waved my hand. “No. I just needed to go somewhere,” I made an excuse.
I knew they could tell I was lying, as worry was evident on their faces. I secretly thanked that at least Kyle remained quiet on the side, looking at me intently. Because I didn’t know what to say if he started asking questions.
“Is that so? I was just going to ask if you’ve seen Steph. There are some things I wanted to know from her,” Nicole asked again.
I shook my head again before quickly avoiding their scrutinizing gaze. “I haven’t seen her again. But don’t worry. I’ll tell her right away that you’re looking for her when I see her.” I forced enthusiasm into my voice.
I really wanted to get away from them because I wanted to be alone. Plus, I didn’t want them to worry about me more because I knew they had other concerns and didn’t want to add to their burden.
“Okay. Thanks, then.”
I saw on my peripheral view that Nicole smiled at me.
I just nodded at them, then waved goodbye before I turned towards the direction of the place that serves as my safe haven. To be honest, it’s also Kyle’s favorite place.
I was about to approach it when I saw Steph turning in my direction. I immediately called her and informed her that Nicole was looking for her. She nodded and smiled.
I was about to leave when she suddenly grabbed my arm and asked if there was a problem.
I just told her that I’m okay, then off I went. Because I didn’t know if I could still talk to them properly. Though I wanted to confide in her. Steph is a good friend of the royalties.
When I reached that place, I quickly plunged into the river without hesitation.
The moment my foot touched the ground at the bottom, I immediately closed my eyes, trying to relax under the clear and cold water. It has become a habit for me to submerge myself under the river, pool, or sea whenever I have a lot on my mind. To somehow temporarily escape from those thoughts.
Because here, I can cry without anyone noticing. Along with the flow of the water is the flow of my tears.
But just a few minutes passed when I opened my eyes because I suddenly felt someone hugging my waist. The next thing I knew, I was already sitting on one of the rocks at the side with Kira in front of me.
“What the hell?” I shouted with my eyes wide open.
He smiled, then cupped both of my cheeks. Suddenly, all my annoyance vanished as I stared at his handsome face.
I wanted to slap myself. What the hell is happening to you, Miley?
He leaned closer to me, until our faces were just an inch away.
Our eyes briefly locked, but I swallowed nervously as he began to speak.
“We need to talk. No more but’s, no more excuses. I won’t let you escape and run away with me this time.” He smirked.
I gulped. Because I know right at this moment, I’m totally dead.