"I'm sorry," he continued. There's something in me that feels sorry for them. The words Mrs. Eleanor had mention came across my mind. They both came from a messy family and guess, Hunter and Adrian were treated badly all these years after their parents' divorce. Not only that, he came to see them both fight in front of his eyes which I think is very hard to see.
My eyes get teary, my heart still has a soft side for him even when my mind has fixated on the thought of our relation to each other, enemies. But today, I felt like we're not enemies, my heart and mind seemed to agree on one thing for the first time; accepting Hunter.
I accept for who he was. When he approached me, I knew to myself, every day, I get to see the real him when we're together back then. He doesn't realize it as he keeps on teasing me and calling me ugly.
My heartache as I heard his sob while still hugging me. Do I love him that I can't move on from him? Is this feeling I am feeling for him is a lifetime? No way! I hesitate to lift my hand and caressed his back as a sign of comfort. I fight with my consciousness this time but soon gave up and was about to pat his back when he pulled away. There's a feeling of disappointment grown up inside me but it wasn't the time to think about that.
"I-I don't know what to do after they both divorced," he started. I pulled a stall behind me and pulled them in front of me, behind Hunter to make him sit. He did and look away from me. "I shouldn't have pulled you over to my house when I knew he would be there." I look at his fingers that were playing with each other as if he was thinking deeply about something and stared at nowhere.
"It's not your fault." I lift my hand and pat his back. He looks at me with red eyes and nose. I gave him my soft smile and nod, telling him I understand him. "It wasn't your fault." Just by looking at him and the personality he has, I knew he is blaming himself for something. What happened to his house wasn't a big deal to me, I can move on quickly but maybe to him, it was a big deal. Why though? Does he regret seeing me hurt? "This all happens for a reason, don't think about it so much. Don't ever blame yourself." My head from his back falls to his hands and squeezes it.
"The person I treasure the most leaves my life." My heart suddenly beat fast as it already is a while ago. Did he broke up with Melanie or Melanie broke up with him? I felt like I'm going deaf from my heart sound beating fast. I clam myself. "The person I only had that time trying to leave." He looks down at his fingers. "She left me. When we met again, she's still trying to run
away even and change something to her."
"She doesn't deserve you then," I replied, still calming myself. I am not a fool to not know what he is saying but the treasure part makes me confused. I think he's talking to me but I think not. Hunter treasured that person, who I am to be that person? We're enemies.
I look at his eyes that already looking at me with his green eyes that I can't get enough of staring at but today, instead of feeling butterflies in my stomach, I felt empathy as his eyes had a tear on them... "Yeah, I tried to be perfect just like her to hold her but I think I can't. She's high that I can't reach her." He cut the staring contest by looking at our hands, my hand still squeezing them.
"Do I don't have a place inside your heart, Alexandria?" I became deaf before I heard the whole sentence he said. He looks at my eyes as he let them out. His eyes were speaking desperation and anticipation.
What now? I want to burst out something I don't know what is it. I am not happy by the fact he confesses to me now, I should be happy but something is stopping me.
After a minute of silence, he stands up and lets a heavy sigh "I knew you wouldn't let me in the first place." I watch him stand up and grab the ointment from the table and open the lid of it before putting some in his index finger. "We will leave if you let me put ointment and treat you." There's a hint of sadness in his voice which made me confused.
He want me but didn't he propose to Melanie on the last day? Is he trying to play with my feelings again? Is it fun for him? But no, he seem so serious when he enunciated those making me confused about my feelings about him. Should I trust his words or not? If I did, then what about Melanie? We're enemies so it is impossible for us to be together and to have feelings for each other?
My mind went black and my heart beat fast. The sound it creates making me deaf. His moving face closer to me made me blind at my feelings for him. I closed my eyes tight, is he going to kiss me? Gosh! Don't! My heart would burst if he did it right now!
My heart continuously beat fast, and I got lost and goosebumps rise over me as I felt his breath fanning my face. And without knowing it, I push him and ran away from him.
My face flushed as soon as I flopped myself to my bed. Did he confess to me then going to kiss me? This... I can't believe this is happening right now, the pain in my cheeks seems like nothing.It hurts like hell but I can't hiss or anything because my mind and heart are focused on the movement he takes a while ago and his pick of words.
My mind was in heaven but not when the morning comes, when I woke up, I felt myself not doing alright. My head is spinning around and it is hurting. I sat down on my bed, seeing the curtain were open and even the window. The air conditioner turned off as my study table got clean.
Well, I left my pen spill on the table to the floor as I am getting stress, and also my mind went black when I saw Hunter on my doorstep. And did not remember about fixing it. And also there's a paper, obviously, belongs to the school I am working on also in their proper place.
Who would come inside my room and clean my things and even open the window and curtain and turn the conditioner off? "Is there a thief come inside my house? Well, he is a kind thief then," I whisper to myself and laugh at how stupid I am.
I felt my eyes getting heavy and also my body. Maybe this is because I didn't get any proper sleep last night. I push the blanket aside as step on the ground, putting my slippers on, and went to the bathroom, dancing without music.
To be continued.