the night was so short and maybe I sleep only sixty-five minutes...I wake up from the smoke grandpa make and the fresh smell of black coffee..he invited me neat the fire ..was six in the morning and I was freezing..when I change my pants he saw my wounded leg...and ask
THAT ITS SO NEW ..WHERE YOU GET IT ...
I just answer
ACCIDENT IN THE FOREST WITH BIKE
he just shaked his head ...I didn't talk more ..I just watch the fire till I feel a soft hand in my shoulder ..inva was already awake ...she ask me to go outside for a walk with her ...I just took my jacket and we run out together...we go in a small native house where she's hiding in her youngest time and she keep watching at me like wanted to discover everything in me...I feel like I was in the thorn ...and I asked what it's wrong ..she please me to continue the story
PLEASE TELLE EVERYTHING ..I KNOW YOU ARE NOT A BAD PERSON ..I KNOW YOU ARE HURT AND YOUR HEART HAVE MANY PAIN INSIDE..PLEASE TELL ME MORE
I breath deep and I said OK
I told her about my first day of my school how my father very drunk pull me on the floor and how I had my first birthday gift from unknown people..The gun who I used to shoot my father ..she become shock and some tears come out from her eyes ...
PLEASE DONT CRY ...IM NOT THE ONE WHO GOING TO GIFT YOU TEARS ..I WILL NEVER WISH TO DO THIS FOR ANYONE..ITS JUST MY PAST AND ITS JUST HAPPENED..
she clean her face and hug me ...
PLEASE TELL ME MORE PLEASE
I told everything about the day it happened those bad things...when the world turned into a hell for me ..how I found my mom and how I lose my way of thinking right ..how and why I turned into a beast and I make the crime ...I told her in the moment I press the gun in my eyes was my mom begging for the violence to stop and my siblings...I didn't have peace to think twice but I made it..I shot to my dad..
I stop and I put my head in middle of my arms
she come near to me ...and while holding my head ..ask me
AFTER where you go
HOW IYLTS YOU DAD ...MOM ? WHERE THEY ARE NOW
I continued to confess
I GO OUT FROM THE HOUSE WITH THIS JACKET 2 PACK OF CIGARETTES AND ONE SMALL STEEL BAR...I RUN AWAY IN THAT FROZEN WINTER WITHOUT ANY DIRECTION..I WALKED FOR MORE THAN 3 WEEKS WITHOUT FOOD MONEY AND PLACE WHERE TO SLEEP ..
she stop me
BUT HOW ...HOW YOU ARE STILL ALIVE ..WHAT YOU EAT HOW ITS POSSIBLE
I continued to say I feed myself with anything..garbage leftover food ..no ripe fruits ..I steal chicken and dry bread for animals in the provinces I pass over..her eyes keep crying crying crying..I said also how one guy found me in one other city..how he heal me and how he protect me always..I didn't mention names or places
SHE ASK WHO ITS THAT ..CAN I MEET
I said her please ...please this I no can ..its for my safety and for the safety of all..
and I also told about 20percent my true life I had in those different places..
she said you are really very good boy ..you are really coming from a tough life ..you are really hurt and you need someone near you to make you feel love ..
I just said I'm growing up now...I'm not anymore a child
after some minutes enjoying the warm fresh goat milk she ask again
WHAT ABOUT YOU MOM ..DID YOU HAVE NEWS ABOUT THEM??
I answered 😌
I MISS MY MOM A LOT ...MY LITTLE SISTER AND MY BROTHER...BUT IM SCARED TO GO THERE ..MAYBE I REALLY KILL MY FATHER OR SOMETHING WORST HAPPENED THERE...I DONT HAVE ANY NEWS FROM THE DAY I RUN AWAY..
she asked but why ...
THAT WAS MY LONG TIME DESICION..AND I WILL FIND THEM WHEN I HAVE MY OWN LIFE ..AND I WILL HELP AFTER IF THEY MEED SOMETHING...like that I close my mouth and I started to smoke again
she's watching the view of the mountains the white dress and smiling...after she ask me to go back for dinner at home ..
I just followed her and outside she catch my small hand ...
AND SHE WHISPER IN MY EAR...YOU ARE NOT ALONE NOW...YOU HAVE ME OKAY??
IM YOUR BIG SISTER
YOUR BEST FRIEND
IM YOUR ANGEL
IM YOUR PROTECTOR...
ILL HELP YOU IN EVERY WAY POSSIBLE AND IM POSSIBLE..NOTHING IN EXCHANGE JUST BE FAIR WITH YOUR SELF...AND ACCEPT ME TO ARRANGE LITTLE YOUR LIFE
STOP SUFFERING FROM NOW PLEASE
I stopped and I saw her in the eyes ...I said Im praying everyday to God..for gifting me that angel you are talking
I will love to protect you as well and to help to arrange and to make your life happy
THANKS FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART..SISTER ..
WE ARE ONLY SISTER AND BROTHER...
THANKS FROM MY HEART
like that we enter inside...full if smile in our faces and INVA shout in entrance
DEAR FAMILY ...GRANDMA AND ALL HERE...FROM TODAY LILI ITS MY YOUNG BROTHER AND IM HIS BIG SISTER
please accept him all
I send out from my bag 3 bottle of wine I bought in Italy before ...and I put in the table
Grandpa smile become more wider ...DINNER TIME WELCOME FAMILY